Little Miracles
by Lulu'sGirl01
Summary: A baby they must lie to protect becomes the very thing that may pull them apart. Can they fight to keep the baby safe without losing each other?
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter One**

Pacing back and forth across the waiting room, it is Calleigh that finally stills him. They have been here for close to five hours now, waiting anxiously for news on their boss. Originally they were waiting on news of two members of their team, but just under an hour ago word came to them via Ryan that Natalia had woken, and while very sore and likely up for a few days in the hospital, she was going to be O.K. Ryan had not left her side since and Tripp had taken it upon himself to become the gopher between Natalia's room and the waiting room. He would go back and forth giving Natalia and Ryan any news of Horatio and bringing updates on Natalia back to the team.

Calleigh's gentle hand on his arm pulls him out of his thoughts and he follows her over to the chairs lining the room. Everyone minus Natalia and Ryan are there, even Alexx has rushed in when she heard. Horatio's son Kyle is being comforted by her, his army uniform crumbled from the force of her hug. He was in town on leave and was just getting ready to return to Afghanistan when he got the news. Eric feels Calleigh shivering at his side and he lifts his arm, opening himself to her. She rests her head against his shoulder and he pulls her in to a tight hug. They stay that way for close to an hour and that is the way the doctor finds them as he exits the operating room. He immediately heads for Kyle and informs him that his father will recover, but it is going to be very painful and long journey. The bullet did some serious damage to his abdomen and he will require further surgery in a couple of days to repair damage they have been unable to get to due to the swelling. Everyone visibly relaxes with the news that their boss will survive and Tripp rushes off the inform Natalia and Ryan of the news.

Eric finds himself being pulled up by Calleigh; the doctor has told them they can visit Horatio very briefly, two at a time to assure themselves he is in fact still alive. He should not be letting them through, only close family are allowed, but he has the greatest respect for this team, as he does for most of the police officers he has come to know through his work. This team is different to the normal officers he comes in contact with, they are a family and as such he will treat them like one. He goes to the desk and gets a nurse to escort them through a pair at a time. Calleigh and Eric are the first to go through. Stopping briefly in his room to touch his hand and feel the warmth. Calleigh leans down and brushes a soft kiss on his cheek while Eric grasps his shoulder. They solemnly turn away and head back out the room, unconsciously reaching for each other as they leave. Before they are even out the door Tripp and Walter have pushed past them. They pass Alexx, still holding on to Kyle and they both stop to give him words of encouragement. They know he will not leave his father's side and is waiting till last so that he won't have to. A silent look from Alexx assures them she will stay and make sure both Kyle and Horatio are looked after. They stop at the desk on the way out, giving Calleigh's phone number to the nurse there. She is second in command so it is only right that any news of their boss comes to her and she will pass it on, though they know Alexx will probably get any news to them long before the hospital has a chance to.

In the car park he walks Calleigh to her car, opening her door for her before leaning in to brush a gentle kiss to her cheek. He knows something has changed tonight. The threat to their family has stirred up their feelings for each other. They don't want to be alone. They want comfort and the only people that can do that are each other. Just as she is about to ask him to come home with her his phone rings. Glancing down, a confused look spreads across his face as he recognises the number as coming from the building they have just left. Not understanding why they are ringing him instead of Calleigh he opens the phone and puts it to his ear. His eyes seek hers out and as he gets the news that rips his world apart all he can see are her brilliant green eyes and he wonders if this is it. If he is about to lose her again; this time possibly for good.

* * *

><p>Author's note: I do not own CSI: Miami or any of its characters.<p> 


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

Calleigh freezes at the look on Eric's face. He is staring straight into her eyes and his gaze is so powerful she cannot look away. She senses he is trying to tell her something with his eyes. His love is shining through to her, so strong it almost knocks her over. They have tried so hard to get past everything that happened when he was working with the State Attorney. She was finally starting to feel she could fully trust him once more and while not quite ready to try again she knew that was definitely going to be in the future. And then everything happened today and she realised that she was being stupid to keep pushing him away. Nearly losing Horatio and Natalia has shown her how much she is taking for granted the fact that Eric will always be there, waiting for her when she is finally ready. But what if it had of been him that was shot or locked in the boot and they didn't get to him in time. She would never again get to wake up snuggled into his chest, his heart beating against her cheek; never feel his arms sneak around her waist pulling her against him to place soft kisses to her temple; never feel his warm hand grip her own, bringing her back from the dark place she finds herself in after a difficult case; never get to tell him she loves him and never again hear those three precious words fall so easily from his lips.

But there is more than just his love in his eyes. There is a desperate sadness falling upon him, his eyes pleading with her. She feels a dread settle over her. Something is seriously wrong and she finds herself eager for him to hang up the phone so he can tell her, but also hoping he never will because she senses from the look on his face that when he does their world is going to come crashing down.

Eric hears the words from the nurse on the phone, his eyes never leaving Calleigh's, and as he starts to understand what is being said down the phone he feels his throat constrict, his chest tightening as if it is being crushed. He cannot believe his own stupidity has reared its ugly head again. He still can't believe he never told Calleigh what he was doing with the State Attorney. He told himself it was to protect her but no matter what his excuses, he lied to her. He lost her trust and he ruined their relationship. They have worked hard these last months to get back to where they were and he is pretty sure that they were nearly there. He sees it in her eyes when she looks at him and they have started talking again. He is pretty sure she trusts him once more. Last week after work Ryan, Natalia, Calleigh and himself went out for drinks at a local bar, Ryan and Natalia begged off after a couple but to his surprise Calleigh suggested that the two of them get dinner together. They went for a short walk down the street until they found a small Italian restaurant they both agreed on. They were teasing and joking most of the meal and being together like that again just felt right, for both of them. Not wanting the night to end so soon he pushed his luck suggesting they get ice cream, never really expecting her to agree, but once again she surprised him, quietly studying him for a moment before telling him to lead the way.

They walked silently to the ice cream parlour, not awkward, just enjoying being together, and when he held the door for her then followed her in, he placed a hand at the small of her back. She threw him a smile over her shoulder and he had the courage to leave it there the entire time they waited in line. By the time they reached the counter his thumb was rubbing small circles across her back and he found her leaning softly into his side. He had a huge grin on his face as he ordered their cones. They sat together on a bench overlooking the ocean and he filled her in on all the comings and goings of his family. Her little frown as he described his niece's first birthday party pulled at his heart. He remembered them visiting the hospital hours after she was born, the picture of Calleigh cradling the baby bringing tears to his eyes. That was what he wanted. That picture was his future and he destroyed it. He was puzzled as to why she was sad listening to his stories and she sensed his puzzlement. She took a shaky breath before turning to him. She explained to him about how she realised what she had lost that year, not just Eric but his family and all that meant. It was as if that opened the floodgates and before he could even apologise again for his mistakes he found her pouring her heart out to him. Her childhood or lack thereof, her jealousy towards all the other children who had a happy family waiting for them and her fear that it was something she would never get to experience. He found himself wrapping her in a gentle hug, murmuring soothing words to her as she let it all out. This was Calleigh. The fact that she was talking to him like this was a huge step. It meant she trust him with her secrets, and hopefully her heart once again. After she had let it all out he stood up, pulling her to her feet. They walked back to her car, their hands never parting. As he closed her car door, he motioned for her to wind the window down. He lent in, cupping her cheek with his hand and looking straight into her eyes.

"You will have all that Calleigh and I hope with all my heart that it will be with me. I am not going anywhere. I am waiting here for you and I will be here until you are ready. I promise you. We are family Calleigh, always will be no matter what. I'm sorry I didn't take you home this last year, but I didn't think you were ready for that, I didn't think about what you would be missing. My family was always asking about you. They love you Calleigh. I love you. And I'm waiting here. I won't push you. I just need you to know that. I'm waiting for you baby."

She didn't say anything, just reached up and covered his hand with her own. They stayed like that for the longest moment of his life before he stepped back and walked away to his own car parked behind hers. She watched him get into his car and was still staring into her rear vision mirror long after he had driven off. They haven't spoken of it since but they have been that much closer. A few days later they arrived back at the lab after going out to a crime scene and both reached for the elevator button at the same time. Her hand was just that little bit quicker and she pushed the button, but before she pulled her hand away she found Eric's had covered her own, squeezing it softly and holding it the whole ride up until the doors started to open. A few days later they were working late and he ordered in pizza knowing she wouldn't eat otherwise. He was surprised at how easily he pulled her away from ballistics. They ate in the break room, chatting away like old times, and before they knew it over an hour had passed. Every day since he had sought her out first thing each morning to say hello and felt his heart soar when, on the third day, he entered her lab to greet her for the day to see two coffees waiting on the bench, one just how he likes it. It had become their morning routine, interrupted only when they were called to crime scenes early in the morning, but every single one of those scenes found him pulling up to her waiting just outside the crime scene tape, two takeaway coffees sitting on her car and a smile on her face.

Pulled back to the present by the nurse calling his name, he finds himself telling her he will be right in. Calleigh looks at him with a questioning look that quickly turns to terror when he tells her that it was a nurse from the hospital on the phone.

"But why did they call you. I'm the one they should be calling. Jesus Eric. Who is it? H? Nat? Tell me Eric" she pleads, grabbing his hand and pulling him away from the car. He puts a hand on her shoulder to stop her.

"No Calleigh. They are fine. I promise. Sorry to scare you. It's not that."

"Jesus Eric. Give me a heart attack why don't you. Well what is it. It's serious, I can tell. I know you. Whatever that nurse said scared the hell out of you. Are you sick? Is it your Mum? Dad? Oh God Eric are they O.K?" she was panicking again and he found himself blurting it out just to stop her killing off everyone they knew.

"No. They are fine. I'm not sick. I'm a father." She stops instantly at his words not understanding what he is saying.

"What do you mean Eric? You don't have a child" she practically yells at him.

"Well, apparently I do. They are saying there is a baby up there that belongs to me. Something is wrong. They need me up there now. They said the mother's not good. She's not going to make it. I need to go in there now. But I can't Calleigh. I can't go in there and sort out a baby or whatever the hell is going on. I don't even know how this happened. I'm not that guy anymore. I swear to you. When you left me I was so lost. I went out every night but I never took anyone home. That's all behind me. I swear to you Calleigh. I know we weren't together but in my heart we were and I'm not a cheater Cal. I wouldn't do that to you. I don't know what to do. Help me Cal."

It was his soft pleading that finally broke through her shock. He had started out almost shouting but as he went on he got softer and softer until his last three words were a desperate whisper. She isn't sure what the hell is going on here but she isn't going to risk everything they had rebuilt by jumping the gun and running now. She grabs his hand, placing a kiss to his palm, knowing it would calm him instantly.

"Don't worry Eric, we'll work it out. I'm not going to lie to you. I am as scared as hell here. But I'm not gonna run the first sign of trouble. We deserve more than that. Let's go in there and see what all this is about. Together. " Her words were strong but inside she was breaking. She could see how much Eric needed her to do this and she was going to try as best as she could. She had just lied straight to his face. She didn't know if together was going to be enough to get through this if it was true but she knew that if she didn't lie and stand by his side, Eric would not be able to face this. She just hoped that whatever the truth waiting for them in that hospital was not more than she could handle.

Taking strength in her determination, even though he saw straight through her false bravado, he gripped her hand as if it was a lifeline that would save him from drowning. Slowly they walked together, back into the hospital and towards the maternity ward. Neither hurrying, taking as long as possible, knowing that these few minutes before they reach their destination might just be the last few they would have together before their world became too difficult for them to face.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Pausing at the door to the maternity ward, they both take deep breaths, turning to look at each other, their hands still entwined between them. Eric pushes the door open, standing to the side to let Calleigh walk through before him. They walk together to the nurse's station, waiting patiently for the nurse behind the desk to finish a call before she turns to them, a big smile on her face.

"How can I help you folks? Here to visit someone?" she asks. Eric just stares at her, his mouth opening and closing, nothing coming out. He doesn't know how to answer. Calleigh looks up at him, a small smile playing at her lips at just how adorable he looks when he is flustered, but as she thinks of how to answer and why they are actually here the smile quickly drops, to instead be replaced with a grim frown.

"This is Eric Delko. He just got a call from someone to come in to see about a baby. Someone said he is the fath..." her voice catches on the word, not able to complete it. Eric hears her stumble and it pulls him out of his trance. He squeezes her hand that he is still grasping for all it is worth, sending her silent apologies for both the fact they are here and the show of weakness he just displayed.

"Father?" the nurse asks, finishing Calleigh's sentence. "Well congratulations sweetheart. Yours must be that beautiful little munchkin I just saw them push through to the nursery. All dark curls and ivory skin. He sure is a beauty" she rambles as she enters his name into the computer to check where to send him.

"He?" Eric finds himself asking.

"Yes sir. A beautiful big bouncing baby boy" she tells him, looking up with a huge grin which instantly falls when she sees his face. For the first time she takes a good look at the man in front of her and the petite blonde he is clutching desperately to his side. Their matching looks of shock and despair knock her for six and the normal happy chatter she graces new parents with dies instantly in her throat. She has seen a lot working in a hospital, especially in the maternity ward, from gut wrenching grief to the most inspiring joy, but the looks on the faces of the young couple in front of her tell her instantly that something is very wrong and this night is not going to end well. She looks back at the computer so that she can direct him where to go when a notice flashes across her screen, her face scrunching in confusion as she reads it, a look she fails to hide from both Calleigh and Eric.

"If you'll just wait here a minute, Sir, Ma'am, the doctor will be right with you. He wanted to be waiting here for you but you got here too fast. They only just called you, they didn't expect you to show up so soon" she explains as she picks up the phone, sending an urgent page out to the doctor.

"We were already here" Eric tells her. "We were just leaving when I got the call. We had been waiting on news of our friend. He had been shot, was in surgery. We were in the waiting room until we knew he was going to make it" he rambled.

"Oh Sir. I'm very sorry. I hope your friend is o.k. Wait. Is he the policeman they bought in? There were two of them weren't there?" she asks before she realises that maybe he had only mentioned one because there was no good news on the other. She had heard about the officers bought in earlier, everyone had. She knew they were both in a bad way but she hadn't had a chance to check if they had made it, she had been too swamped and as they were short staffed all over the hospital, a couple of the nurses had gone to help with the injured police, it was all hands on deck when an officer was down, and none of them had made it back to her yet. The utter despair and shock on the couples face now made a bit more sense to her, but their hesitation towards the baby was still confusing her. Maybe it was the fact that they were clearly together and yet here they were enquiring about the man's son, not their son. Oh well, none of her business anyway. That's not to say she wouldn't get all the gossip on them in the staff room later on. She regarded them anxiously, horrified at what may be the answer to her hastily asked question. Her heart pounded in her chest until finally the lady answered her.

"Yes, there were two officers injured. Natalia was locked in the boot of a car and pushed into the ocean, but they managed to revive her and she has woken since. She will be fine, eventually. Horatio, our boss, was shot in the abdomen. He made it out of surgery and they say he will recover, but he has a long way to go" she quietly answers, the horror at what they have faced tonight evident in her breaking voice.

The nurse walks around the desk and places a comforting hand on her shoulder, squeezing gently. "You are both police officers?" she asks.

"Yes. We're CSI's" Calleigh answers.

"I don't know how you do it. Especially after a night like tonight. I'll keep you and your friends in my prayers."

The nurse is just turning to go back to the desk when the squeak of shoes coming down the hall alert them to the approach of the doctor. They turn towards him, the nurse stepping forward.

"Doctor Tanner. This is Officer Delko and Officer ..." she stops, suddenly realising she has not asked the woman's name.

"Duquesne. Calleigh Duquesne" she supplies.

He nods a greeting before turning to Eric.

"Well Officer Delko"

"Eric, Just call me Eric"

"Eric. Please come sit over here with me. I need to have a chat with you before we head into their room. Officer Duquesne can sit over here with Nurse Rogers."

"No it's O.K. Doctor. Calleigh will be staying with me" Eric replies before leading Calleigh over to the small family room the doctor had indicated.

The doctor hesitates before following them over. He probably should insist the young woman leaves them, she is not a family member and as such he should not talk as he will need to in front of her. But he has noticed the way they are clinging to each other and he knows it would be a losing battle. The way it stands now anyway, the young woman lying only meters away that he needs to talk to Eric about is in no shape to protest his breech of her privacy, nor is she ever going to be. He sits opposite the couple, taking a deep breath before looking up into their eyes.

"Eric. She presented early this morning as a perfectly healthy young woman and everything appeared fine. She went through a textbook labour before giving birth naturally to a healthy baby boy at 6.30pm. There were no complications at anytime during the labour or birth and all was well as we went about tending to both her and the baby. They were checked out and cleaned up and she spent the next few hours marvelling over her son. Then about 90 minutes ago a nurse was doing routine post delivery tests on her and the baby and noticed she was a bit more sluggish than expected and then within minutes all hell broke loose. Her blood pressure dropped so low her heart stopped and she slipped into unconsciousness. We managed to revive her and then ran every test we could and we have discovered she is bleeding into her abdominal cavity. It is called Obstetrical Haemorrhage and while there is always some bleeding after birth, the degree to which she is bleeding is very rare. We have been pumping blood back into her and we put a drain in to remove the excess blood from her abdominal cavity and as a result she is conscious again, though she is drifting in and out of sleep, with the sleep periods getting longer and longer. I am very sorry to say that there is nothing more that can be done for her. There is no tear or injury that we can repair surgically, the pregnancy and birth were simply too traumatic for her body to handle and the bleeding is her bodies messed up way of dealing with the strain. I know it's of little comfort but she is in no pain. She has held her baby and she understands she is dying. Her only questions since this happened have been about you. She had already started on the paperwork listing you as the father and when she wakes the next time we will assist you and her in getting them completed. Just with you not being together it makes it easier for you to take the child if everything is in order before she passes. It is simple really. She will probably hang on for a day or two at the most. We will want to keep the baby for a couple of days after that, just to make sure there are no complications with him in light of everything that has happened, but once he has been released you will be free and clear to just take him home. Your name on his birth certificate makes it as simple as that. Now I know it's a lot to take in, but do you have any questions?"

All he got in response were two deathly pale faces with matching shell shocked stares. He looks down at their entwined hands and notices they are both gripping each other so hard their knuckles are a stark white. He reaches over and places his own hand over theirs, softly squeezing to draw them out of their trance. "Eric, Calleigh. Do you have any questions?" he repeats.

"Just one Doctor" Eric respondes, "who the hell is this woman? There is no possible way I can have a child. So who is this woman and why is she claiming her child is mine?"

It was the very last thing the doctor could imagine they would ask. He is so shocked he simply stares at them for a full minute before opening his mouth to respond, but finding he had no idea how to. He sits there opening and closing his mouth like a goldfish out of water and that's exactly what he feels like. Crap, he thinks, how could no one know that this was the case? There are protocols to follow to avoid situations like this but with everything that went on something must have been missed. The woman had named him as the father, never mentioning he didn't know. They just assumed that he knew of the child and acted accordingly. Now he was in the position of telling this man he was a father to a child he had no idea even existed and on top of that, the mother was dying so he was going to be solely responsible for that child. He just hoped he was a good guy and this didn't become even more complicated.

"Eric. I am so sorry. Clearly something has been missed along the way here. No one realised you didn't know about this child. His mother is a Miss Arianna Xavier." He didn't need to go on anymore; the look on the young man's face told him all he needed to know. Yes he certainly knew that name and if the pain that flashed across his face was anything to go by, they had some sort of relationship. He was betting the young woman had not lied, Eric was the father.

Calleigh felt Eric tense at the name and the fear it produced in her sent shivers down her body. She was trying so hard to give him the benefit of the doubt but the feel of his entire body tensing, his hand painfully squeezing her own, told her all she needed to know. God he had done it to her again. Sure they weren't together, but as he told her outside, in his heart they were, and if she was honest with herself, she had felt the same way. Now here they were, facing the fact that he had been with another woman and that had produced a child. Not to mention he must have flat out lied to her by the car when he claimed he had not been with anyone else.

She feels sick. She has to get away from him. She pulls her hand from his and starts to rise, ignoring the pleading looks he is sending her and the sympathetic looks from the doctor. She steps out the small room and rushes past the nurse's station, barley registering the surprised look of the nurse. But before she can even get out the door she feels Eric behind her, his strong arms catching her at the waist, pulling her against him. He pushes them through the doors, away from the prying eyes and ears of the nurse and the doctor who had come to stand with her at the desk, their stunned faces staring after them. She tries to fight him, she could feel the sobs rising and she didn't want him to know what he had done to her, but he refuses to let go, pulling her tighter against him the more she struggles. Finally she just gives up, her body going limp in his arms and he leads them over to the wall, leaning her shoulder against the cool surface, his arms never leaving her waist. She can feel his hard chest against her back, his strong arms holding her upright. She feels him bury his face in her hair, inhaling her scent before he turns her in his arms so she is facing him. He pushes her so her back is flat against the wall, knowing the only way he will be able to explain things to her is if he makes it impossible for her to escape.

Taking a deep breath he tries to look into her eyes but she won't raise her face to meet his. So he grips her chin in his hand and raises it himself, holding her so she has nowhere else to look.

"I promise you Calleigh, I never slept with her. Yes I know her and I don't have time now to explain it all to you but I promise I never, ever was unfaithful to you. I love you with all my heart and I need you to trust me now. I have to go back in there and sort this out and if it is what I think it is, it is going to mean playing along with her little charade, so if you can't do that, I understand. I hope you can come back in there with me, but I won't push you. I know this sounds unbelievable to you right now, but I promise you that once I am able too I will explain everything to you, but right now I need you to know how much I love you and know that I learnt my lesson last time and will never betray your trust again. So please Cal, trust me and believe in me."

She doesn't know what to think. The whole situation seems like one big joke. As if God hadn't messed around enough with them already tonight, he thought he would throw them another curve ball and watch them drown. But the pleading look in Eric's brown eyes are what convince her. They are so open and filled with everything he isn't able to say, they anchor her to him. She finds herself believing him. After all, it is not something he could keep lying about. If it is his child she would find out the truth and he knows that. But still she finds herself telling him "If you are lying to me, so help me god, they will never find your body." They stand silently together for a moment, each searching for the strength to walk back through those doors. Finally they are able to go back into the ward, finding the nurse and doctor still standing at the desk, the flurried whispers stopping as soon as they come in, alerting them to the fact they were the ones being discussed.

"Ma'am" Eric addresses the nurse "could you please take Calleigh and show her where she can get some good coffee. I have a feeling we are going to need it." He turns to Calleigh, placing a soft kiss on her cheek, "Cal, just give me a minute with Arianna. Come to her room with the coffee, I'll be waiting for you there. I just need to have a word with her on my own first."

He leaves her with the nurse, following the doctor to Arianna's room. They go straight in without knocking, the doctor checking she is stable before stepping back out the room, closing the door behind him. Eric hesitantly walks to the bed, sitting in the chair pulled up next to it. He leans over the small, dark haired woman resting in the bed, checking she is awake before speaking.

"Arianna please tell me I didn't just lie to the most important person in my life. You told me nothing happened that night. Please don't make me a liar. What the hell is going on?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

The sight of the woman lying before him in the bed almost broke him. He flashed back to the last time he saw her, some nine or so months ago.

_He awoke to the harsh glare of daylight, the brightness intensifying the pounding in his head. He must have forgotten to close the blinds the night before. He tries to sit up but finds himself tangled in the blanket. Thrashing around to untangle himself, his arm hits something next to him but it doesn't register till his arm again strikes whatever is next to him and this time it moans in response. Even in his groggy state he immediately realises someone is in the bed next to him and he instantly freezes, squeezing his eyes shut tightly, hoping that when he opens them the bed will be blessedly empty. The only person he wants lying next to him is the last one he will ever find there again. Her shattering words to him yesterday obliterated that dream. After she crushed his heart he went straight to a club he hadn't been anywhere near in over two years. The lure of copious amounts of alcohol, mind numbingly loud music and body crushing crowds calling him with the promise to forget. He was already long past drunk when he noticed her watching him. He wandered over to her and immediately recognised her. He hadn't seen her in close to a year but she had hardly changed. They spent the next two hours in a corner catching up, him getting drunker by the minute. Finally he had enough of the music and people constantly pushing into them and he begged her to come back to his place, he didn't want to be alone. From there is where it gets fuzzy. He vaguely remembers her holding him up as he stumbled from the taxi to his door. His next memory is her guiding him into his bedroom, dropping him onto the bed. From then on, nothing. He takes a series of deep breaths, his hands scrubbing across his face in a futile effort to erase the pain. Slowly he opens his eyes, turning to his companion to see her awake, staring at him. The pitying look on her face makes him look away, his gaze shifting to his fingers absently pulling at a thread on the blanket._

_"Good morning sleeping beauty. You're up a hell of a lot earlier than I thought you would be given your state last night. Thought I'd have this mighty fine pad of yours to myself for most of the day while you slept it off."_

_"Arianna.." was all he could manage in response._

_"Don't worry Eric. I got ya" she said with a smile, playfully punching his arm "I remember you need your coffee in the morning before you can manage a coherent thought on a normal day, god knows how much you're gonna need to swallow down today." With that she pulled back the blanket, got up from the bed and headed to the door. As she neared the door he finally forced himself to look up at her. The sight of her bought a string of expletives to his lips, the sound of which found her turning back towards him. His dress shirt from the night before graced her body and nothing else as far as he could see. It was at that moment he realised his lack of clothing, all he was wearing was a pair of boxers and one sock. Taking pity on him at the obvious thoughts running through his mind Arianna crossed back to the bed, sitting next to him and forcing him to look straight at her._

_"Nothing happened last night Eric. I swear. You were so drunk I had to help you into bed. You passed out before your head even hit the pillow. I couldn't get the air conditioning to turn on in the spare room so I slept in here with you. Don't worry Eric, you were a perfect gentleman. Well except for the being blindly drunk and making little old me look after you thing" she teases him. "Honestly Eric, we just slept. You are basically my brother. You may have been so far gone last night to not register that, but believe me, I wasn't."_

_The relief on his face is evident, as is the small sad smile that crosses hers as she sees it. "Ah shit Arianna" he reaches for her, realising his happiness at nothing happening between them has hurt her, "it's not like that. You're a great girl and in another life, who knows. But I gave my word to Marco that I'd protect you, and I'm not a good guy. I can only give you pain. And even if I was free to see you, I'm not in the best place right now."_

_"Calleigh?" she asks quietly._

_The name brings a hurt so intense he feels physical pain. The fact that it is coming from Arianna shocks him. Sure she knows of Calleigh, he has spoken of her in regards to his work before, but he had not told Arianna that they had crossed the boundary from friend to lover, or that he had messed it up so badly. At the confusion on his face she smiles again._

_"Marco always told you that you would give away your biggest secrets in your sleep one day. You had dreams last night Eric, obviously bad ones. You talked a lot. I couldn't understand much but one word was loud and clear and it crossed your lips often during the night. Calleigh." Suddenly her pitying eyes when he awoke made sense. She had spent the night lying next to him and his traitorous dreams had revealed his heartbreak to her. Sensing his unease she rose from the bed and headed back to the kitchen to get started on the coffee. Before she left him completely though she stopped in the door way to study him. His heartbreak was painful to see. This was a man very close to losing it._

_"There's always hope Eric. Never give up on her. If she is the girl for you, you fight for her and never give up. Don't let her get away Eric. I want to meet her one day. The girl that claimed Eric Delko's heart. Never thought I would say those words."_

Remembering that day a small smile tugs at his lips. That had started as the worst day in his life. He had thought Arianna was so naive, insisting there was still hope. That was something only someone who had never been crushed would say. He had spent almost thirty minutes standing in the shower sobbing, thinking Calleigh was lost to him forever and realising how easily he had slipped back into his old ways, knowing if it hadn't of been for the sheer luck of running into Arianna he would have woken to some bimbo lying all over him. After he was all cried out he reached around for his shower gel only to grasp hers, still standing on the shelf. He had not been able to remove a single thing of hers she had left behind. He almost broke again at the smell of it, but as he snapped the lid back closed, the sharp click seemed to snap him out of it and suddenly he realised what he had to do. Her words the day before had crushed him, but it wasn't because they were hurtful or mean, just because they were true. After a devastating case in which a child had been murdered in retribution for her father's lying and cheating ways he had found Calleigh sitting on the couch in the staff room, staring at the wall. She had her poker face on, but he knew her and underneath she was hurting. He went to her, sitting next to her, attempting to comfort her but she wouldn't accept it, not from him anyway. Her quiet words shattered him, all the more powerful as they were said to the wall, she never met his eyes.

"I can't do this Eric. I thought I could get past it but I just can't. I grew up in a house where the truth was optional, where hurting each other seemed a game. This case. That little girl. God Eric, did you see her face. She was an angel and her father killed her. He may not have physically pulled the trigger but it was his hand that she died by. The truth is the one thing I value more than life and I can't be with someone who can't see that. You hurt me Eric. You must have seen that. I knew something was up and I tried to talk to you, tried to help, but you shut me out and you lied to me Eric. You could see what it was doing to me but that didn't stop you, you just closed your eyes and kept on lying. I'm sorry Eric, I really am, because I love you, I really and truly do and I thought you were going to be it for me but I guess that's not the case. My heart was taken by you, broken by you and now it's in pieces because of you**. I can't be with someone that can so easily break me like that." With that said she rose from the couch and left the room, never once looking at him.

Remembering her words, even now, after everything they have been through and the place they have gotten back too still tear at him. But he is also thankful for them. Because without them he never would have seen exactly what he had done to her and hated himself for, never would have woken that morning next to Arianna and listened to her naive words and he never would have found himself breaking down in the shower. Without those things he never would have realised Arianna was not naive, but in fact very wise and he never would have stood in that shower holding a bottle of Calleigh's shower gel making a promise to himself to do whatever it took to get her back. To be the good guy finally. To stand by her no matter what, give her everything of himself and make her see that he has changed and she can trust him. What had started out as the worst day of his life turned into quite a good one. With Operation Make Calleigh Trust Him Again set in his mind he left the shower, dressed and headed down the hall towards the heavenly smell of coffee. He spent the day with Arianna, catching up, watching movies and even heading to the beach for a swim, something they had often done together in the past, usually with Marco on the sand complaining that he was getting hot and them in the water laughing at him and his aversion to the ocean.

Now though, it all hung on the word of the young woman in the bed. He watched her hesitantly, dreading what she was to say, because no matter what, either was bad. If he was the father then not only had he betrayed Calleigh but he had hurt Arianna as well and left her with no option but to hide it from him until she was desperate. If he wasn't the father, then Arianna was in trouble and he had failed to protect her.

** I found this line as a quote on the internet and I loved it instantly. I think it summed up exactly what Calleigh would have been feeling. Unfortunately I have searched high and low but cannot find its source, so thank you to whomever out there wrote it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

Arianna senses Eric as soon as he steps into the room. Without even opening her eyes she knows he is there. Just his presence has always been enough to make her feel safe. Only two people have ever been able to make her feel like that, Eric and Marco, but for close to fifteen years now it has only been Eric. She hears the click of the door closing and knows the doctor has left; he doesn't hang around longer than needed. The sound of the chair next to the bed moving slightly tells her he has come to sit beside her. She forces her eyes open and turns to face him, not even able to get a word in before he speaks.

"Arianna please tell me I didn't just lie to the most important person in my life. You told me nothing happened that night. Please don't make me a liar. What the hell is going on?"

His desperate plea breaks her heart. She has done this to him. She should have come to him sooner but she was so ashamed and he had so much else going on in his life, he didn't need to get saddled with her problems again. Instead of answering directly, she utters one word.

"Calleigh?"

This time however there is no hurt on his face at the name, and that tells her all she needs to know.

"See Eric, I told you there was hope."

"Arianna. What's going on?"

"I never lied to you Eric. You should know that. I may have caused you a couple of grey hairs and stress lines over the years but I have never lied to you. It hurts that you could think that of me."

"What the hell do you expect Ari? I wake up one morning nearly naked with you in the bed next to me and then some nine months later I get a call from the hospital saying, congratulations, you're a father, come claim your kid. Can you blame me for thinking that you lied to me at some point? If you never lied then WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?"

"I'm in trouble Eric" is all she manages but the shame in her eyes tells him so much more. He leans over the bed, gently stroking the hair from her eyes.

"Oh Ari, what have you done?"

And that is how Calleigh finds them. She quietly enters the room, so quietly that neither notice she is there, it is the sound of the two coffees falling to the ground that alert them to her presence. Eric immediately jumps up, grabbing Calleigh before she can make a getaway.

"Cal, it's not what you think. Just stop for a sec and let me explain." He pulls her to his side, holding her firm, not taking a chance she might try to run.

"Calleigh, this is Arianna. Arianna, Calleigh." The two eye each other awkwardly, Calleigh desperately trying to calm herself after seeing the way Eric tenderly caressed the woman laying before them, while Arianna is just embarrassed that another person is going to discover how stupid she has been.

"Calleigh, Arianna is an old friend. We grew up together. Actually I grew up with her older brother Marco, she was just the annoying little sister along for the ride" Eric teases, attempting to break the tension. "I told you some stories about Marco and I before. We were closer than brothers and we did everything together. Arianna was the little sister we both looked out for and we pulled her out of more than her fair share of trouble. I told you that Marco died when we were nineteen, what I didn't tell you was that it was my fault." At the sound of Eric's voice breaking, the feel of his arms tightening around her as though seeking the strength to continue, Calleigh finds herself squeezing back, giving him the support he needs to finish his story.

"We had been out all night at a party and I had spent most of it chatting to this one girl. We were walking home and Marco was ribbing me about her, putting on a girly voice and copying some of the stupid compliments she had showered on me all night. Next thing I know these three big guys pull up next to us and start bashing the shit out of Marco. I tried to stop them, charging at the leader, tackling him to the ground. The other two left Marco and came at me. They had baseball bats and they didn't hesitate. They shattered both my knees and my left arm, laughing the whole time. When it was clear I couldn't move they left my lying in the drain and went back to Marco. They beat him until he couldn't be recognised, the whole time laughing at him as he pleaded with them. When they were done, the leader walked back to me and kicked me over and over. He told me to let all my mates know what had happened that night as a warning to the next guy that decided to hit on his girl. They were long gone before I comprehended what he had said. They had mixed up Marco and I. I was the one meant to get that beating, not Marco. He held on for two days, only waking once. I was by his bed when he woke and he knew he was going to die. He made me promise him that I would look after Ari. That I wouldn't let anything bad happen and that I would always protect her. Their parents had died the year before in a car crash so I was all she had left. Marco and she had always been really close and as a result she and I were close to. She was only 16 when he died. The state sent her to live with an aunt in Orlando. I visited her often and the day she turned eighteen I was there to bring her home. She lived with me for about six weeks until she went off to college. She was my link to Marco, my only other true friend in the world besides you Cal. I watched out for her, pulling her out of some shit. She came home with me for Christmas and Thanksgiving when she wasn't off with her latest boyfriend. Lately we have drifted apart a bit, our lives both so busy. I always intended for you to get to know her. I wish it wasn't like this" he finishes, the tears pooling in his eyes. Calleigh reaches up and wipes the tears away before pulling him into a tight hug. She doesn't know what to say, there are no words to comfort him. He blames himself for his friend's death and now the girl he had vowed to protect is lying there, dying in front of his eyes. She asks the only thing she can think of.

"The baby?"

She watches the girl lying before them and sees the pain, fear and shame cross her face.

"I promise you Eric never betrayed you. He is the only person I could turn to. The only one I could trust" Arianna quickly assures her. She takes a deep breath before addressing them both.

"I did a stupid thing. I fell for a guy. I knew he was bad news but he was so much fun and everyone treated me with so much respect because I was with him. We were treated like royalty wherever we went, he showered me with gifts and he treated me like a queen. He never hurt me" she quickly assures Eric, seeing the fire in his eyes as he senses where this is going. "He was a good guy in every way around me. It was just away from me that he wasn't. I knew going into it that he walked on the other side of the law and I think the bad boy thing was what made him so appealing. I didn't realise just how bad he was. I should have guessed. A simple drug dealer isn't treated like the king of Miami, but I was blinded by the life he showed me. I realised exactly what he was about a month before that night at the club. I was still deluding myself that it wasn't so bad when I realised I was pregnant. That was my wakeup call. I left him the next day. It was a lot easier than I thought it would be. I thought I would have to run but he simply let me go. I didn't take a single thing he had given me; I just took what I had when I met him. I lay low thinking he would change his mind and make me go back, but I guess I overestimated how much I meant to him. One of my friends who works the bar at his favourite club called me a couple of days after I left to let me know he had a new girl, he didn't seem to care I was gone. So I went back to my life. But then I was at the beach and this woman walked past with her pregnant belly hanging out and I realised that if anyone saw me and figured out I was pregnant it would get back to him. He let me go like I was trash but I knew he wouldn't let his child go. I went to the club that night looking for you. I was too embarrassed to simply turn up on your doorstep and so I ambushed you at the club and intended to dump it all on you the next day and ask for your help. But then I saw how broken you were and I couldn't do it to you. So after I spent a great day catching up with you I went home, packed up my stuff and moved out to a friend in Orlando. I only came back to Miami because she got transferred out of state and there was nowhere else to go, my aunt died a couple of years ago, not that we ever got along anyway. When I came into the hospital today I saw one of his guys outside the ER waiting on someone and I panicked. I named you as the father because you are the only one I can trust. I know you meant that vow to protect me and I know you will protect this child in the same way. I know it's a big ask but you are all we have. Given the circumstances now I can understand if you turn away, but I'm pleading with you Eric to take him. He needs you more than I ever did. You are all he will have in this world. You are the only one I can trust to make sure his father never gets to him." Her sobs fill the room and it is Calleigh, not Eric that goes to her. She sits on the side of the bed, brushing her hair back with one hand, grasping her hand with the other. Eric is left standing by the bed in shock. How could he have stuffed up so badly yet again? He was meant to protect Arianna and he had failed, yet here she was pleading with him to protect her son. Didn't she realise he was the last person she should be asking. As if sensing his internal debate Arianna turns to him

"Eric. Please. Don't blame yourself for this. I am a big girl. You kept me safe all this time. Made sure I went to college. Made sure I had a good life. You know me. There is nothing you could have done to stop this. If you had of tried I would have found a way around you, making it ten times worse. This is all on me. But I am pleading with you. Take my son and keep him safe."

He can't say anything. He simply sits by her bed and holds the hand she is not clutching Calleigh with. He softly rubs circles over the back of her hand with his thumb and before long she has drifted off to sleep even though she tries to fight it with all she has, she needs to know Eric will help her but her exhaustion claims her. They sit like that, him in the chair and Calleigh on the bed for close to an hour. Neither speaking, both just absorbing all that has happened. Calleigh never doubts that he will step up. He is a good man, always has been. He has the kindest heart she has ever seen and family is the most important thing to him. She sits quietly waiting for him to realise what she did the second Arianna opened her mouth. She watches the debate play across his face. He wants to do the right thing by Arianna and do as she asks but he doesn't think he is good enough to raise her son. Doesn't think he is strong enough to protect the son of the woman he believes he has failed. She aches for him, wanting to go to him and assure him, but she knows it is something he needs to come to on his own. He is still sitting there, contemplating it all when a soft knock echoes across the room and the door opens. Nurse Rogers from the front desk walks in backwards pulling along a clear plastic cradle on wheels. She reaches in and lifts out the blue bundle before turning towards the bed. At the look of Arianna fast asleep she stills, not sure what to do. She makes a move to place the baby back in the cradle when Eric stands and Calleigh can see in his eyes that he has finally worked it all out. He steps towards her and reaches for the baby, a soft smile gracing his lips as he looks down at the little boy she places in his arms.

"Hello little one. I'm your Papi."


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter Six**

The sight of Eric holding the baby nearly breaks Calleigh's heart. It just isn't fair. He shouldn't have to be the one, Arianna should be the one standing there, holding her child, her face shining with the complete love and indescribable joy she feels for that tiny little being. Instead it is Eric. Eric is the one cooing softly to the little boy, placing his finger in the tiny outstretched hand and watching it curl into a fist around his finger, looking up at Calleigh with tears in his eyes at the wonder of it all. It is Eric nuzzling the fine black hair on the baby's head and Eric placing soft kisses along his brow. It kills Calleigh that the woman sleeping next to her will not get to watch this precious little boy grow up. Will not hear his first words, not watch him take his first steps, will not get sloppy wet kisses and giggly words of love, will not watch him walk into school on his first day, witness his first goal or home run, not watch him get ready for his first date, sit in the front row at his wedding nor visit him in the hospital as he holds his own child for the first time. There is so much she will miss out on but Calleigh knows she has done the right thing by asking Eric to fill the void she will leave. Eric will make a wonderful father, the way he is looking at and holding the little boy so close yet so gently now says it all. Eric will cherish that little boy; he will never wonder if he is loved. Calleigh knows what it is like to grow up not knowing if your parents really care for you, wondering why they don't love you enough to stop hurting themselves and you, why they can't just suck it up and be the responsible parents she deserved. She has never had the role models Eric has, never learnt what it is like to love unconditionally and put another before yourself. She wonders if it is even something she is capable of.

Eric looks up at her, two glistening trails down his cheeks from the tears still falling as he walks towards her. He stops when he reaches her, still perched on the side of the bed, and angles the bundle in his arms so she can see the baby.

"Cal, look at him" he whispers, the reverence in his voice pulling at her heart. He has wanted this for so long, a child of his own, a family of his own. She wishes it was their child he was standing there marvelling over before realising that it could be if she would let it. He is Eric's child now and she can be a part of that. Eric has done the right thing and stepped up to be the man she always knew he was, the question is, can she do the same? All the doubts and fears filling her cause her to hesitate. She doesn't know if she is enough. How can she be there for Eric and this child, help them through what is going to be a painful and difficult time when she can't even look after herself properly, can't admit to herself what she wants. But she can't walk away now. She loves him too much and just the thought of that little boy who has already clearly become the centre of Eric's world fills her with a warmth she can't describe. No, she will have to find a way to push her demons aside and try to be strong for Eric and the baby. She can't walk away from Eric for simply being the man she always saw, the man she loves. She realises with a start that this is what she wants; Eric and this child are her future, even if she is not ready to admit that yet. Now she just needs to find the strength to face her fears and find it in herself to be the person they both need.

Eric is still standing over her, a look of apprehension spreading over his face at her hesitation. She can't yet tell him her thoughts, she is still struggling with them, so she shows him instead. With her free hand (the other still firmly clasped by a sleeping Arianna) she reaches towards the baby and strokes his cheek, leaning over to place a soft kiss in his hair. Getting her first good look at the tiny child she gasps, he is the image of Eric, although his skin is a few shades lighter, something he doesn't get from Arianna, she is darker than Eric. Eric hears her gasp and looks at her puzzled.

"He looks just like you" she stammers.

Looking closely at the child he smiles, noticing for the first time what Calleigh saw straight off.

"It seems this one here takes after his uncle" he replies with a chuckle. "The whole time we were growing up people thought we were brothers, mistaking us for each other all the time. We used it to our advantage, managed to get in a lot of trouble with it. In the end it was what took him away" he finishes, his voice catching.

Calleigh feels his pain, still blaming himself over his best friend's death. She removes her fingers from the baby's face and reaches up to cup his cheek, drawing his eyes to her.

"Eric, you have to stop blaming yourself. You were just a young guy, doing what young guys do. You didn't do anything wrong."

"I know Cal but it's hard. If I hadn't spoken to her, hadn't tried to chat her up. I was young and cocky and thought I was God's gift to the world. If I hadn't been so full of myself it would be Marco standing here. No, scrap that. No one would be here and we wouldn't be losing Ari, because Marco wouldn't have let this happen to Ari, he would have protected her."

Knowing that nothing she could say would change his mind she does the only thing she could think of to draw him out of his dark thoughts. She moves her hand from his cheek to the back of his neck and pulls his head down towards her. Reaching up the last few inches she places her lips against his own, softly kissing away his demons. It is a gentle, reassuring kiss and they stay like that, their lips gently pressed against each other for a long time, neither wanting to break their connection. It is the baby that finally brakes them apart. Stretching out an arm he has managed to free from his blanket, his hand brushes against their chins. His soft protests at being held pressed against the two for too long bringing a chuckle to both Eric and Calleigh. Eric readjusts the bundle in his arms before reaching down to steal another kiss from Calleigh. She pulls away first and rests her forehead against Eric's whispering the words he has waited so long to hear again.

"I love you Eric."

"I love you too" he replies, "so, so much." Slowly she removes the hand from where it has been toying with the hair at the nape of Eric's neck and once again reaches to stroke the baby's face.

"He really is beautiful."

"I know. And so tiny. You forget how tiny they are" he marvels. "Here" he says, moving to place the baby in her arms.

"No Eric" she quickly replies, pulling away. "It's just.. ah.. you know" she stammers, raising the hand still holding Arianna's so he can see. "It just wouldn't be right. I'd feel funny. She's.. you know.."

Eric looks down at Calleigh. It is more than the fact Arianna is lying before them, he knows that. She is struggling with something, he can see it in her eyes and he desperately wants to talk it out with her, not let her hide it away from him. But now isn't the time, nor the place, and she has said she loves him. She said it first, not in reply to his own words of love. That is enough for him for now.

As if on cue the woman laying in the bed before them starts to stir, her eyes fluttering open, a smile spreading across her face at the sight of her child. Her hand squeezes Calleigh's; thankful she has woken to Calleigh's warm hand holding her own. She does not want to be alone, that has been the case too much lately. Now she just wants to spend the rest of her time with the man she loves like a brother, the son she is never really going to know and the woman she can see is going to be a big part of both their lives.

Eric steps forward and places the baby in Arianna's arms before stepping back and sitting on the bed behind Calleigh, bringing his hands to rest on her hips. They watch the woman drink in her son, his tiny features and soft hair, watch her breathe in the smell of him and feel the softness of his skin and the surprising strength of his grasp. They laugh at the mewing sound he makes as he nuzzles into her breast, instinctively seeking food. Calleigh rises and goes out the door to ask the nurse for a bottle, Arianna is too weak to feed the baby from her body, it is not producing the milk he needs, instead using all its strength to fight the losing battle elsewhere within. Calleigh returns to her spot on the bed, resting a comforting hand on Arianna's leg at the sight of the tears falling from her eyes, the knowledge that she is going to miss so much more than simply feeding her son too much for her for a moment. They stay like that until the nurse comes in minutes later, handing the bottle to Arianna, before warning Eric and Calleigh to help her if she gets too weak. They watch the determination in Arianna's eyes as she places the teat of the bottle in her son's mouth; nothing is going to stop her doing this while she is still here to do so. He greedily suckles, his slurping noises drawing a chuckle from all three, breaking the tension. They continue to marvel at the child Eric leaning forward, resting his chin on Calleigh's shoulder.

"What are you going to name him?" he asks Arianna.

"I don't know" she replies. "I really thought I was going to have a girl and then I was going to name her Marcie in honour of my brother, but now I don't know. I would love to honour him but calling the baby Marco just doesn't seem right. Almost like he is being replaced."

Calleigh feels Eric relax behind her. She knows how hard it would have been for him to have that reminder in his life every day, especially as he still blames himself for Marco not being here. The baby himself, with his looks so like his uncles will be hard enough, having the verbal reminder everyday would have broke him, but he would have done it, he would have honoured Arianna's wishes. Calleigh reaches behind her and lays her hand on his thigh, squeezing gently to let him know she understands and to silently tell him no, he is not a bad person to be grateful the baby will not be named Marco. He understands straight away, grateful she is there for him, she knows him; she knows where his mind goes, she is the only one that truly does.

Arianna does not notice Eric's relief, so caught up in staring at her son. Without looking up she speaks again.

"Anyway Eric, you decide what you want to name him. He's your son now." She is trying to be strong but failing miserably, given away by the tears streaming down her face. Eric reaches out to her, resting his hand just below Calleigh's still gently grasping her leg. His touch causes her to look up at him.

"No Ari. Nine months you've planned for this. Thought about your baby. Had dreams for him. You should be the one to name him. Find a way to honour Marco that you are comfortable with. Or honour yourself Ari. You have done so much to get him here, had to be so strong to find the courage and get away, keep him safe."

"I just don't know Eric. It is too painful to think about. Every time I try it physically hurts because I know it won't be me calling him, scolding him, praising him. I want to honour Marco somehow, but I want to honour you too. You are stepping up and being his father, just like you stepped up with me. It's just too hard Eric" she finishes with shaking sobs.

They just sit there, the only sounds being the baby's suckling and Arianna's softening sobs. Eric doesn't know what to say. She is losing so much and there are just no words adequate in such a situation. It is Calleigh that finally breaks their subdued silence.

"What about Xavier" she suggests, her southern accent thickening with the emotion in her voice. "That way we are honouring both Marco and yourself. He will carry your name forever."

Eric squeezes her hip, amazed at both how easily she has solved the problem and her unconscious use of the word we. He doesn't draw her attention to it, he knows it will freak her out. Just the fact she has used the word is enough to give him hope.

"Xavier Delko" Arianna tries it out, her face brightening as she repeats it. "I love it" she tells Calleigh, reaching out to rub her hand in thanks. "But he needs a middle name. Marco and I never had them and he hated it. Said it meant our parents couldn't be bothered. The truth was they fought so much over our first names they didn't push it and go for second ones. What about Eric. I want to honour you in his name somewhere" she finishes, shifting in the bed to move the baby next to her, his bottle laying finished on top of the blanket.

"No, not Eric" he replies with a laugh, "The guys at the lab will think my ego has taken over. Just my surname is more than enough. I feel truly blessed that this little one will bear my surname. But I agree he needs a middle name. Any other ideas?" he asks, looking from the two women to the little boy now resting on the bed, fast asleep nestled in the crook of his mother's arm.

"I'm happy with anything" Arianna replies sleepily, her eyes drifting closed. "I want you to decide" she answers between yawns, never opening her eyes.

Eric and Calleigh watch as she falls into a deep sleep. They continue to watch the two for a moment before Calleigh turns in his arms to look up into his eyes.

"Well papi, any ideas?" she asks.

Eric's face brightens at the name and his answer comes to him without thought.

"Pavel. Xavier Pavel Delko. I want to name him after the man who showed me what it is to be a papi, regardless of blood."


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

They stay with her for the rest of the night, both in silent agreement she will never be alone. They pull the chair away from the bed, over to the wall under the window and add another chair Eric finds out in the hall. They leave Xavier in her arms as long as they can; only moving him to his clear plastic crib when Arianna starts to move in her sleep and the baby came dangerously close to being squashed between her and the railing of the bed that they had raised when they moved to the chairs. Xavier wakes again just as the first rays of the morning sun poke through the gaps in the blinds and Eric feeds him a bottle before a nurse shows him how to burp and change the baby. Even with all his nieces and nephews and all he has done for them, he is glad for the nurse's guidance. Arianna shows no sign of waking, the events of the night before clearly too much for her battling body. Eric rocks the baby back to sleep before placing him in the crib and then pulling it over to them, setting it between their chairs. They attempt to rest but the uncomfortable chairs make it impossible and they very quickly give up. So they just sit, watching over Arianna and the baby, smiling at each other over the snuffling noises the baby makes in his sleep and frowning over the soft noises of distress coming occasionally from Arianna. They know it is just a waiting game now, the Doctor had checked on her again earlier and had told them he was not sure how long she would stay with them, she seemed to be stable enough to make it through the coming day, but he would be surprised if she was still with them the following morning, her bleeding had not slowed at all. Giving them his sincere condolences he quickly left the room, angry with himself, the universe, God, anyone and everyone that there was nothing he could do to save the young woman.

As the sun continues to rise they can feel its warmth on their backs, even the blinds and air-conditioned room unable to mask the heat of the coming day. Calleigh shifts uncomfortably in her chair, drawing Eric's attention.

"Cal, why don't you go home? Have a shower, have a sleep. Eat a decent meal and drink some real coffee, not this hospital crap" he says as he raises the Styrofoam cup, indicating the coffee the nurses have kindly kept them supplied with.

"I don't want to leave you here."

"I'll be fine Cal. Go home and have a break. Come back if you can."

"Of course I'll be back. I'll just run home quickly and I'll come straight back. Do you want me to stop at yours and grab you anything or are you going to run home once I get back?"

"If you're fine staying here I'll run home quickly. I need a shower" he replies with a laugh, dramatically fanning the air away from his body as if to remove a smell.

Laughing in reply she gets up and walks over to his chair, bending to place a kiss on his lips. "You still smell pretty good to me" she teases before placing a quick kiss on his nose and heading towards the door. Just as she reaches to pull it open she feels her phone vibrate on her hip and stops to pull it off. Looking at the display she sees it is the lab and answers straight away, quietly so as not to disturb Arianna or Xavier.

"Duquesne"

"Hey Calleigh, it's Jonah. Sorry to bother you so early but I wanted to give you a heads up. First off, don't anyone from you or your team even think of coming in to the lab until Monday. It's Friday and we have worked it out so you are all covered for the weekend. Take the three days and be there for each other, H and Natalia. Tell your team to be in 8am Monday morning. Also, there is a meeting just about to start, all the brass are here, plus me and Gabriel."

"Why are you all having a meeting?" she asks confused. "Why are you two meeting with the brass?"

"Well, as night shift supervisor and Gabe as swing shift supervisor, we are the highest ranked here at the lab at the moment while H is out of action. It's all just a formality really but they are going to officially appoint you as day shift supervisor until H is able to take back over. Not sure who they will put in charge overall though, it seems stupid to bring in an outsider so it will probably be one of us. I think they might make you head of the lab as well, it just makes sense. Day shift supervisor is always head, considering day shift is when the brass and such are on duty and any decisions can be made without having to make contact between shifts and wait on replies and all that crap. Just let me know now if you are not up to it. I will pass it on, we can shuffle people round and maybe Gabe or I can transfer to days for awhile. What do you say Calleigh? Are you up to being in charge of the lab?"

Calleigh just stands there, not knowing how to reply. She turns and looks back at Eric, a questioning look crossing his face at her obvious shock. He rises and walks straight to her, placing his hands on her hips, silently questioning her.

"Can I call you back in a sec Jonah, I just need to discuss this quickly with someone."

"Sure Calleigh. Don't take too long, the meeting starts in ten minutes and if I don't have a response from you they will just do what they want. By the way, how are H and Natalia going?"

"F..fine" she stammers, her voice catching as she realises she has not spared them a thought since the nurse's questions the night before. "I'm just at the hospital. I'm heading to see them both now" she finishes, making a note to do just that.

Eric's face pales at her words, realising she is speaking of Horatio and Natalia and mentally kicking himself for forgetting all about them. She feels slightly better knowing she is not the only one, he has not thought of their friends either, so caught up in their own drama. Eric gives her hips a reassuring squeeze as she says goodbye to Jonah and promises to call him back before he heads into the meeting.

"That was Jonah Adams from night shift. We are all off until 8am Monday and there is a meeting at the lab in ten minutes about our team. He wanted to know if I was up for officially becoming day shift supervisor and possibly head of the lab until Horatio is able to come back."

"Calleigh, that's great. Not the way it has come about, but great that they are recognising you."

"Thanks Eric. I'm not sure about it though. I haven't really thought about it to tell you the truth. As assistant supervisor I guess it makes sense that I become supervisor and I'm pretty sure I'm fine with that, but head of the entire lab is a lot to ask, especially with everything that's going on" she finishes, gesturing towards Arianna and Xavier.

"Cal, we'll work it out. You can't say no. The team is going to need you, not someone from the outside. They won't know us and how we work, they will mess us up, change things that don't need changing. I am so happy you have been here for me, for us, and I know that even though you will get unbelievably busy now, you will still be there as best you can, that's all I can hope for. I know it's going to be hard once I take him home, but just knowing you are on my side will get me through it, anything else you can give me will be a bonus." He stares into her eyes, telling her silently all he can't put into words, knows she isn't ready to hear. They will get through it all. Sure her extra work and hours will make it harder but he is determined to make it work, to make them a family. It is all he has ever wanted and he is going to fight for it. He knows that if she doesn't take this opportunity now, she will regret it later and come to resent him and Xavier and they will lose her.

"Your right. I need to do this for the team and for us. If I'm in charge I can approve leave for you while you get sorted with Xavier and no one else needs to know about this situation."

"Cal, I hadn't even thought about that. I don't want to hide him but we do need to sort out how we are going to handle this before we start telling people. No one can ever know I am not his biological father. Once Arianna is gone, you and I will be the only ones and that is how it has to stay."

"But Eric, what about your family? They need to know. What are they going to think? They know Arianna, probably loved her like family going on how they treat me. I don't want them to think you did the wrong thing here."

"I don't care about that Cal. I don't care what anyone else thinks about me including my family. You know the truth and that is all that matters to me. I can't risk them knowing. What if Mami slips up and mentions something offhand to one of the ladies at church or something like that. I need to protect Xavier and the only way to do that for sure is to keep this between you and I. He can never even know. After everything I went through, how badly I wanted to know my own truth it kills me to say that, but he must never know. I can't risk him trying to find that guy like I did with Sharova, and look how well that ended for me" he chuckles, drawing a smile from Calleigh. "I trust you Cal, I know you would not put him in any danger, the truth is safe with you. After everything we have been through I wouldn't keep it from you anyway. But you are the only one I trust with this. We can never tell a soul, no matter what. You have to promise me that."

"I promise Eric, no one will ever know."

Smiling he bends and places a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling her into a hug, his chin resting atop her head.

"Now call Jonah back and let him know then head on home. I'll see you later."

"I'm gonna stop and check on H and Nat on my way out. I feel so guilty. Being here all this time and not even so much as asking a nurse for an update."

Sighing softly he absently rubs his hands across her lower back. "I know Cal. I feel terrible about it too. You go check on them now and then when you get back I'll do the same before I head home." He feels her nod against him so he pulls back, places one last kiss on her lips before opening the door and all but pushing her through. He quietly closes the door behind her, not wanting to wake Arianna, but as he turns back to her he realises it is too late, her large brown eyes are staring straight at him.

"Sorry, we didn't mean to wake you. Go back to sleep, it's still early."

"No, I've slept enough. I don't want to sleep now. There will be enough of that later" she says, a grim smile on her face.

"Oh Ari, your sense of humour is so wrong sometimes" he says with a sad chuckle, walking to the crib and pushing it up so it is firmly against the side of the bed, allowing her to see the baby within. He moves back and pulls his chair over as well, smiling at the fussing baby wriggling in his blankets, the movement of his crib having disturbed him. They sit silently together, watching the baby fight with his blanket before he happily settles back down, his arms now free.

"He doesn't seem to like being wrapped up" Eric observes. "You were the same if I remember correctly. Do you know how many times I watched Marco pull your blankets back up and tuck you in, only to have you throw them off again before we had even left the room. When we were younger and I had stayed over he would check on you before we went to bed and then when we were older you were always his first stop whenever we got home from wherever we had been. He always checked on you before he turned in, no matter how old you had gotten. He would be so proud of you. This little man you have made. The way you have handled everything that has been thrown at you. The way you are handling yourself now" he finishes with a sob.

"Hey Eric, you stop that now" she demands. "I don't want you to be sad for me. I have had a good life. I have travelled, seen everything I ever wanted, experienced so much. I have had great fun, known true friendship and love. There is nothing else I could have wished for. My only regret is that I won't get to see this one grow up, but I am at peace knowing it is you that will be watching over him. I couldn't ask for anything better for him. Now you have to promise me that you won't mourn me. Celebrate the life I had and the life I have bought into this world and am leaving behind with you."

"I can't promise that Ari. I will mourn you, of course I will. You are my sister, my family and it breaks me that I won't get to see you again, hear you laugh, watch you light up as you tell me of your adventures." He smiles at her sadly "but I promise you I won't dwell on it. I will cry for you and mourn your loss, but we will celebrate you and then we will carry on and I promise you we will raise this little boy to be happy, secure and loved."

"Thank you Eric, that's all I can ask." She reaches for his hand and they sit quietly for a moment watching the baby before she turns back to him.

"I like the sound of that by the way."

"What?" he asks confused.

"The we you said before. I never thought I would see you like this, your world revolving around one girl. You were such a ladies' man; I never thought you would settle down. You are so different with her. You would do anything in the world for her; I can tell by the way you look at her, as if the world would cease to exist if she wasn't in it. I am so grateful Xavier is going to grow up knowing that kind of love. I really like her Eric; I did the moment she stepped into the room. And she looks back at you the way you look at her."

"Don't speak yet" he whispers, "she's frightened. She's afraid to love. She has been let down so many times in the past, she's afraid that it will happen again. I let her down before, badly, and just as she came to trust me once more I did it again. But I've worked really hard on making myself better, good enough for her and I think we are finally in that place where we can really make it work. I just pray to God that she won't run now that Xavier is part of that future. She had a really tough childhood and she doubts she has it in her to be a mom. I know she would make a great mom; she is so kind and caring. She has the biggest heart and she has so much love to give, I just have to let her realise it all herself. If I push her she will close up and run. But we'll get there. I have faith in her and us."

"Oh Eric, I am so sorry. I can't believe after you have finally found your one that I may be the person to mess it all up for you. I hate to think Xavier may cause you to lose Calleigh."

"Hey Ari, don't you worry. I know Calleigh and she's not going anywhere. She just needs to accept this all on her own terms. You should see the way she looks at Xavier, she loves him already, she just needs to find the confidence to accept that and open herself completely to him. She won't be a perfect parent, no one is, but she will never ever hurt that child, she will love him with all her heart and she will always do the best for him, protect him with all she has and guide him through life. We will get there, I promise you that."

With that Eric stands up and lifts the baby from his crib, stopping to rock him gently before placing a kiss to his head. He places the baby in Arianna's arms and then sits back down watching the two of them together. Arianna sits there marvelling over her son, but very soon she feels the pull of sleep, her eyes become too heavy to hold open. She motions for Eric to take the baby back and before he has even lifted him out of her arms she is again fast asleep. Eric does not place the child back in the crib, instead he stands and slowly walks around the room, stretching his legs while slowly rocking the child, the gentle movements settling him back to sleep. A nurse enters the room, checking Arianna and smiling sympathetically at Eric. She asks if he would like her to bring in a reclining armchair so he can get some rest, and he asks for two, one for him and one for Calleigh. She immediately agrees and goes out to find an orderly to help her. Normally she would need to seek permission to grant his request but all the nurses have been alerted to the situation here. The mother is not going to make it and the young couple staying with her are to be looked after as if they were one of their own, never asked to leave, they have permission to stay by her bed as long as they want and they are to be given anything they need if it is possible.

Very soon she is back with an orderly. They remove the uncomfortable chairs and place them in the hall outside before bringing in two very comfortable looking armchairs. The nurse shows him the buttons on the sides that control the chairs before taking the baby from him as he settles in. As she hands the baby back she asks.

"Anything else I can get for you officer?"

Eric is startled for a moment. How does she know he is a policeman? Then he remembers the nurse at the desk and he correctly guesses that Calleigh and himself have been the main topic of conversation around the break room table.

"Eric is fine, and no, I'm right thanks."

"Well if there is anything, don't hesitate to yell out, or just press the call button and someone will come to you" she says with a smile as she leaves the room. Eric wonders for a moment if they are getting this special treatment because they are police and if that is the case he finds he doesn't care. Normally he wouldn't dream of using his position to his personal advantage but this is difficult enough and any advantage being a policeman will bring is more than fine by him. He smiles down at the baby cradled against him, adjusting him so he is resting in the crook of his arm, his weight resting on his legs stretched out in the chair. Very quickly he finds himself drifting off.

The nurse checks on him not long after, he looked exhausted and she just wants to check he is OK with the baby. She smiles as she sees them fast asleep on the recliner. She steps in quietly to check the baby is secure and slips back out when she sees he is. She looks back at the man as she closes the door, a smile on her lips at how peaceful he looks. She knew he wouldn't remember her, but she sure remembers him. It was over four years ago and he wasn't even conscious at the time, in fact he was barely alive. She had picked up an extra shift in the ER when one of those heart stopping calls came in, officer down. He had been shot in the head and they didn't think he was going to make it. But he fought and he made it through and that is how she knows he will make it through this. So if there is anything she can do to make this that little bit easier for him she will and she knew every other nurse on the ward feels the same way.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter Eight**

After leaving Eric in Arianna's room, Calleigh heads for the elevator, calling Jonah as she goes. She informs him she will accept any position offered to her, and in her opinion she believes she is the best person for both jobs, not an outsider that may compromise her team. She hears the smile in his voice as he tells her he will pass that on and he's pretty sure she will get both positions. He hangs up after assuring her he will call as soon as it is all sorted out.

Calleigh heads down to check on Horatio first, knowing Natalia will want any news of him she may have. She stops at the nurse's desk in the ICU to sign in before heading to his room. Alexx and Kyle are there keeping vigil and all it takes is one look from Alexx to know that things are no better. She walks over and gives Kyle a kiss on the cheek, squeezing him in a tight hug as she does so. He offers her a sad smile before going straight back to his desperate vigil. Alexx stands and gestures for her to follow her out the room. Calleigh turns back to Horatio laying there, the only movement the rhythmic forced rise and fall of his chest from the ventilator pushing air into his lungs. She leans down to brush a kiss to his forehead, whispering in his ear for him to keep fighting like only he can and to hurry back to them. She follows Alexx out the room and finds herself being pulled into a fierce hug before the door has even closed behind her. Alexx steps back apologetically, but Calleigh just smiles in reassurance. Alexx is always the strong one, stronger even than Calleigh and sometimes they forget that she suffers just as much as them, sometimes she needs comforting. Holding Alexx's hand she pulls her to a couple of chairs against the wall opposite Horatio's room. They sit down; staring through the large glass windows that look into the room, assuring the occupant is always observed by the nurses at the desk nearby.

"How has he been?" Calleigh asks.

"No change. He is exactly the same as when they bought him here last night. In a way that's good. He has not gotten any worse. But it's been hours Calleigh and there should have at least been some improvement. He has not so much as twitched a muscle, his ventilator needs to be on full power or his oxygen saturation plummets. He's not breathing on his own; his heart rate is still dangerously high, working too hard to keep his body going. They need to take him back into surgery today. They wanted to wait a couple of days to give his body some time to recover a bit from yesterday's surgery but they are worried the temporary repairs they made to his bowel won't hold and then he'll be at an increased risk of infection. As well his blood sugar levels are rising sharply and that indicates there is significant damage to his pancreas. They can't risk either so they have to go back in. He'll still be up for more surgeries, there is damage to his liver and spleen as well as general tissue damage they need to keep an eye on and possibly repair if it doesn't do so itself." She stops talking and leans over, resting her face in her hands, the tears that start to fall from her eyes pooling in her hands. Calleigh reaches over and rubs her back, assuring her Horatio is strong, he'll fight.

They sit there for a few minutes, Calleigh gently rubbing her hand up and down Alexx's back as she composes herself. They stand and Calleigh escorts her back into the room before asking her and Kyle if they need anything. Both answer her in the negative but she makes a note to at least grab them some food when she gets it for her and Eric. She leaves them there and heads to Natalia's room, where she is greeted with the sight of Natalia sleeping peacefully, Ryan fast asleep in a chair pulled up so close to the bed it is practically under it. His is half leaning on the bed next to her, his head resting on the edge of her pillow, her hand tightly grasped in his own. She smiles at the sight of them, going back out to the nurse's desk to ask for some paper and a pen. She leaves them a note telling them Horatio is still fighting strong. She tells them he is headed in for more surgery today, there is no point trying to hide it, they will check on him themself anyway, but she tries to make it sound as routine as possible. Slipping quietly into the room she leaves the note on the drawers next to the bed before heading out to her car.

Calleigh drives home in autopilot, her mind busy with thoughts of Horatio and Natalia, Eric, Arianna and Xavier. She quickly showers before packing an overnight bag to take with her just in case she needs it. As an afterthought she adds her camera as well, thinking it will be a good idea to get photos of Xavier with Arianna while they can. She makes up a big thermos of Eric's favourite coffee, adding extra coffee grounds to her overnight bag so they can make more later. She heads out to her car, placing the bag and thermos in the back before getting in and heading back to the hospital, stopping at a diner a couple of streets away. She picks up breakfast for herself, Eric, Alexx, Kyle, Ryan and Natalia, along with extra for any others that may show up. She also grabs some fruit salad, sandwiches and muffins for her and Eric to eat throughout the day. The waitress laughs at the sight of Calleigh trying to load it all into her arms before running out back and grapping her a box. They load all the food in and Calleigh puts it in the car before driving the rest of the way to the hospital. She parks in the same spot she left not too far from the door, not believing her luck before heading back in. First she stops at Horatio's room, leaving food for Alexx and Kyle and making them promise to eat it. Next she heads to Natalia's where she finds them not only awake but sitting up talking to Frank and Walter. She is glad she bought the extra food as they all look hungrily at the box in her arms, no one noticing or questioning the overnight bag she also carries. She distributes the food, receiving grateful words from everyone, as well as a hug from Nat and thanks for the note she had left. She tells the men they have the weekend off, not due in til 8am Monday before she backs out of the room to their protests. She tells them she has to take food to Alexx and Kyle and they immediately let her go; they don't need to know she had already been there.

She heads to the elevator, going up to the maternity ward and pushes through the doors, smiling at the nurses behind the desk. They are all new, she hasn't seen them before. Obviously there has been a shift change while she was gone. They smile back at her, no one stopping her as she heads to Arianna's room. As she struggles to open the door a young nurse rushes up to help her, giving her a sympathetic smile as she opens the door for her. Calleigh looks over at the desk and notices them all looking straight at her. It hits her that no one had stopped her or asked who she was because every one of them already knew. Clearly the gossip in this place travels even quicker than at the lab, something she didn't think was possible.

They continue to stare at her, oblivious to the bustle around them. The maternity ward is a busy place during the day, but you would never know it based on the nurses at the moment. She offers them a weak smile and nod of the head before stepping into the room and pushing the door shut with her foot. She sets the box on a rolling table against the wall before turning to Eric, smiling at the sight before her. There passed out atop a very comfy looking armchair lays Eric, the baby snuggled in his arm. She walks over and places a kiss to his forehead. He doesn't even stir. She slips into the matching chair next to his and sighs in relief. It is so comfortable. She finds herself drifting off, the exhaustion of the previous night's events claiming her.

She wakes with a start, something moving beneath her. Confused she reaches around to find her hand on her phone, its vibrations the cause of the movement. She answers groggily.

"Duquesne."

"Calleigh, Jonah again. It's all set. You are both shift supervisor and head of the lab starting 8am Monday. I got them to hold off making it official until then to give you the weekend. Have the rest of your team in at 8am Monday. Gabe and I will be in as well and we'll sit down and sort out how to handle all this. Obviously you and your team can't handle anything to do with H and Nat, the brass won't even let us handle it. They have called in a team from Monroe County so that there can be no problems or excuses when he is caught and this goes to trial. We need to work out your roster too; you will be two CSI's down for awhile. Any idea how long Natalia will be out?"

"She will be released Monday or Tuesday, but she will be on bed rest for a week or so. The doctor's think two weeks before they clear her medically, barring any complications. Then she has to go through psych so it's probably going to be about a month. H is looking at around six months medically, but that is only an estimate. They really have no idea at the moment, he is going into surgery again today and he will be going back in periodically over the next week or so, there is a lot of damage."

"Yeah, we got an update in the meeting. We are all praying for him. He's strong; he'll be up and about before you know it."

"I don't know Jonah. You should see him. You wouldn't even recognise him if it wasn't for his hair and the name on his hospital bracelet."

"Don't give up Calleigh. He will get through this, you know that. We are all thinking of you and your team here. We'll catch you on Monday."

"Yeah, see you then. Oh wait Jonah, what are we going to do about being short staffed?"

"Well we were going to wait and see what you wanted but we thought about shuffling the staff around a bit, we have talked to all our guys and most of them are open to swapping shifts for awhile so you can grab pretty much anyone. And I know a couple of the Monroe county team are willing if we need them too."

"We might just have to keep that in mind. I don't want you to be short staffed as well."

"Oh, don't worry about us, it's you guys that do all the heavy lifting. We'll need to find someone up for a longer stint with you to replace H but if Natalia is only going to be a month we can cover her with double shifts and such. It will be fine."

"OK. See you Monday" she finishes, hanging up the phone. She feels terrible leading him to believe there were only two CSI's to be replaced but it wasn't the time to tell them about Eric's leave. She will approve it first thing Monday and then tell them in the meeting. She knows it isn't fair, they won't even get a proper reason, just "emergency family leave" until he is ready to tell them about the baby. He is going to need at least a month. With parental leave he is entitled to six being that he will be considered the baby's sole care giver but she knows he wouldn't want that. He just needs enough time to get the baby settled and sort out childcare and then he will be itching to get back. She reckons he will be out six to eight weeks at most, then he will start going stir crazy. She is up for a lot of negotiations on Monday; double shifts will not cover both Natalia and Eric. She is going to need to find at least two replacements plus pull help from the other shifts in the form of doubles and extra shifts. But she knows it will work out, her team will support her as will the other shifts, just as she would any of them.

Turning towards Eric she finds him smiling at her.

"Well, boss?" he asks.

"Yes CSI Delko. I am now your boss, as well as everyone else at the lab."

"Congratulations babe. I knew they would appoint you. How could they pass up bullet girl?" he teases.

She laughs in response before getting up and heading over to the food.

"Breakfast?"

"For sure" he replies before trying to get up. She turns at the struggle she hears behind her, laughing at the sight of him trying to get out of the large chair without waking the baby. She watches for a moment before it becomes apparent he is not going to succeed. Still laughing she heads over to him, pushing him back with a hand on his chest before reaching down and taking the baby in her own arms without a second thought. She heads over to the crib, placing a soft kiss to his hair before she lays him down, straightening his blankets around his body, leaving his arms free. A nurse enters just as she is about to leave the crib and checks both Arianna and Xavier. She moves to rewrap the baby so his arms are in the blankets but Calleigh stops her before Eric can even open his mouth.

"Don't even bother. He will lay there for less than five minutes before he tries pulling them out and he will wake himself up in the process. This little one likes to have his arms free" she says with a smile at the baby. The nurse looks at her before turning to Eric for affirmation, which he readily gives. She smiles at Calleigh before turning to leave. As she heads out the door she spies their breakfast on the table, what looks like pancakes and bacon. She reaches over and grabs the containers.

"Did you guys want these now? I'll just heat them up for you if you do. Can't eat them cold; that would taste terrible."

Eric smiles at her and tells her that would be great. She leaves with their food and he heads over to Calleigh who is still standing over the baby protectively as if the nurse is going to sneak back in and wrap him up while she isn't looking. He wraps his arms around her waist, drawing him to her, placing a kiss to her hair.

"You are amazing you know. You know that about him after just one night. Protective Mama Bear here you come."

She freezes at the word Mama but doesn't pull away. Truth be told it is exactly what she felt like when that nurse came but it scares her and she isn't ready to admit it. Eric fells her freeze and knows she is struggling with it all so he doesn't push her. Her actions speak louder than words anyway and the way she has acted confirms everything he told Arianna earlier. Calleigh will make a great mom for Xavier, she just needs to get over her fears. Pressing another kiss to her hair he squeezes her gently and continues to hold her, letting her know he understands and it is alright for her to be scared, he won't push. They stand there like that until a soft knock on the door alert them to the returning nurse who enters the room and sets their now hot breakfast back on the table.

"I found a bottle of syrup in the break room so I bought that too" she tells them, setting it next to their food.

"Thanks" Eric and Calleigh respond in unison "that's great." Their joined voices bring a smile to the nurse before she leaves the room with a "happy to help."

They eat their breakfast quickly, neither realising how hungry they were until the first taste hits their lips. When they are finished not a scrap is left and over half the coffee is gone from the thermos, Eric's smile at the smell of real coffee drawing a matching one from Calleigh. After they have finished and cleaned up, Eric snags the bottle of syrup from the table, gives Calleigh a kiss on the lips and heads for the door.

"I'll drop this off, visit with H and Nat, then run home and shower and change. I won't be long but call me if you need me." And with that he is gone, leaving her alone with a sleeping Arianna and a baby who is due for a feed anytime now.

He has been gone for half an hour and Calleigh has just started to think she might get through it when the baby wakes and starts to fuss. A glance at Arianna finds her still out like a light so Calleigh pulls the crib towards her, rocking it back and forth in an effort to get him back to sleep. His rising protests tell her it isn't going to work, so with a hesitant breath she picks him up so his cries won't disturb Arianna. He quietens instantly, looking up at her with beautiful big brown eyes, which if she didn't know better she would swear were Eric's. The second she looks into them she knows she is a goner.

"He looks good on you."

The voice startles her, making her jump, bringing a loud protest from the baby in her arms. Rocking him gently she hushes him and he quickly responds. She heads over to the bed, moving to place the baby in Arianna's arms.

"No, can you just hold him a bit longer and then I'll be able to feed him."

"Sure" she replies although the discomfort on her face is evident, causing Arianna to laugh gently at her.

"He's just a baby Calleigh, he's not going to hurt you. Mess up on you maybe, but hurt you No."

Calleigh's response is so soft Arianna almost misses it.

"But what if I hurt him?"

"I don't think you have to worry about that, I'm certainly not. I've seen the way you look at him, the way you are looking at him now. It's almost how you look at Eric. The way Eric talks about you I know you are the only person in the world I would want by his side raising my son. I hope you find it in yourself to open your heart completely to him, cherish him as I wish I could and one day, when you are ready, I hope you will become the mother that he will need."

"I'll try but I don't know if I'll be strong enough" she responds after a minute. Knowing she owes this woman who is placing all her trust in her nothing but the honest truth. "I don't know what Eric has told you, but I didn't have much of a childhood. No one ever showed me what a parent should be, I never learnt what it was to be a mother. What if I mess it up? I can't take that risk when he will be the one to suffer."

"Calleigh, just look at you now" Arianna replies gesturing towards her and the baby snuggled in her arms, his face pressed against her breast. Calleigh looks down to notice her right hand absently patting the babies back softly, the rhythm having sent him back to sleep. "You're a natural Calleigh. Babies sense these things. Do you think he would have drifted off like that if he wasn't comfortable with you?"

"He's not even a day old yet Arianna. I don't think the fact he has fallen asleep against me proves I am fit to be a mother."

"No but the fact you are holding him as if he is the most precious thing in the world does. You will be a good mother Calleigh. Everyone has doubts. The responsibility is a huge thing, I don't think I had even fully grasped it before I gave birth and I had nine months to prepare. I don't really know you Calleigh. I can only go on what I have seen these last few hours and what Eric has told me. He has so much love for you and I know him and what type of woman it would take to capture his heart, so going on that alone I know you will be a wonderful person for my son to have in his life. I just ask you to have faith in you and Eric and the trust he has in you."

Calleigh doesn't reply, the argument still raging in her head, but she does listen to everything Arianna has to tell her and she does take it in, even if she doesn't quite believe all she has to say just yet. She prays it is true, she is falling deeply for this little boy and she knows that even if she left now she would suffer the loss of him. But another part of her is telling her wouldn't it be better to leave before he got attached to her and she screwed it up? But what about Eric, she can't leave him now. He is going to need her to get through the next couple of weeks and during that time she will have to think long and hard as to if she truly has it in her to be a mother for this little boy.

Arianna watches Calleigh closely and knows that she has not managed to convince her; the woman still has her doubts. But she can see that she is thinking it through, she just hopes with all her heart she realises she is exactly what Eric and Xavier need.

The fidgeting baby pulls them both out of their thoughts. He has not woken completely but they can both see he will soon, his hunger drawing him from his sleep. Arianna presses the call button and asks the responding nurse for a bottle. When it is bought in Calleigh stands and settles the baby in Arianna's arms, placing a pillow beneath him so that she won't have to bear his weight. She steps back and settles in her chair, watching the woman feed her son. Quietly she pulls out the camera she had grabbed from home and discretely snaps numerous pictures of the two. When the bottle is finished Arianna looks up at Calleigh to ask her to take it and is surprised to see the camera aimed at her, although she recovers quickly as Calleigh continues to snap away and a huge smile graces her face. Calleigh stands and steps closer to the bed so she can get a better angle and is rewarded with a magic picture when Xavier reaches one of his free hands out and lays it against his mother's cheek who has lifted the baby up to her shoulder and is nuzzling his hair, the joy at her son in her arms evident on her face. That will be one to frame and place in Xavier's room, she finds herself thinking.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter Nine**

Calleigh continues to snap pictures of Arianna and Xavier until the woman starts to tire again. She helps her to settle the infant next to her on the bed before sitting back down in her armchair and herself drifting off. She is woken not long after by a nurse coming to fetch Arianna. She rises quickly worried for Arianna but the nurse assures her they are just taking her to a procedure room to check the drain in her abdominal cavity and clean it or change it if necessary as well as do some tests to check on the bleeding. The nurse motions for Calleigh to take the baby from the bed and Arianna is whisked away as soon as she has done so. She goes to place the baby in his crib but the sudden movements have disturbed him and he cries out. She tries repeatedly to settle him, rocking him and pacing the floor but he only soothes when she stands still and holds him close. When he is quiet she moves to put him down but he cries the moment she tries, he only wants to be held. So finally she gives in and settles herself in the armchair hugging him to her chest, softly humming a tune she makes up as she goes along. His sweet scent drifts up to her, his warmth against her bringing her a comfort she has never known before and she finds herself thinking she could sit there holding him like this forever.

The door opens slowly; she doesn't notice it, so caught up in the child in her arms. Eric just stands there taking her in, his heart exploding with the image before him, the same image that has filled his dreams for years. Calleigh senses eyes on her and looks up at Eric with a smile. He smiles back and starts to head to her, only then realising the room is nearly empty, the bed and woman who lay upon it gone. She sees the panic cross his face and quickly reassures him.

"She's fine Eric. They just came and got her not ten minutes ago. They took her to the procedure room down the hall to check her drain and run some tests on the bleeding. She'll be back soon."

He visibly relaxes at her words. He knows what the doctor has said, Arianna will leave them and will do so soon, but he has still not quite accepted it, still praying for a miracle and he would not forgive himself if she did go and he was not there with her. There to say goodbye, tell her how much she means to him, how much she will be missed and to promise one last time to love and protect her son with his life.

He walks the final few steps separating him from Calleigh and leans over, placing a sweet kiss on her lips. She smiles one of her smiles, the ones he finds himself spending his days trying to elicit from her and he marvels at how far they have come. He used to have to fight for one of those smiles, going weeks, months at one stage with them only gracing his dreams and now she is giving them to him freely, no longer hiding behind the walls she had surrounded herself with. If only he could break down the final few she is steadfastly holding too. He smiles back at her, not able to stop himself from bending for another kiss. As he pulls away she motions for him to take the baby but he quickly steps away from her.

"Sorry Cal, I'll grab him in a sec, there's just a couple of things I gotta do first."

She tries to look annoyed but doesn't manage to pull it off, her smile still shining beneath her scowl. In truth she is more than happy to remain exactly as she is, spending a few more minutes with the precious bundle upon her chest and it scares her greatly, though not enough to insist Eric moves the child immediately. She looks down at the baby, studying his tiny features and as such she doesn't see Eric swipe the camera from the table next to her as he quickly moves away.

Eric saw the camera as he walked towards her and was once again so grateful Calleigh was there. The thought of recording Arianna's time with Xavier never even crossed his mind and while he could have used his phone if he had of thought of it, the pictures will be a much better quality from Calleigh's camera and the knowledge she thought it through enough to grab the camera from home reminds him how special she is. He steps as far away from her as the room will allow and pretends to look busy, fussing over his bag. When he is certain she is completely occupied by the baby in her arms he very quietly snaps a few pictures of her and Xavier. She never even looks his way, the baby holds her full attention and he finds himself holding back tears at the sight of them.

He puts the camera aside, not wanting to push his luck when all he wants to do is continue to take pictures of her. He busies himself fussing in his overnight bag, pretending he is looking for something. When he thinks he has covered himself enough he grabs the camera and walks back to her, setting it back on the table without her ever even glancing his way. As he steps all the way to her side she looks at him with something like regret in her eyes but he takes the baby from her outstretched arms even though he knows it is not what either of them wants. He steps to the crib and is just reaching to put the baby back in when the door opens and Arianna is wheeled back in by two orderlies, a nurse and doctor behind them. He tenses at the looks on their faces and suddenly can't seem to put the child down, instead drawing him as close to his chest as he can, one arm rising around him as if to shield him from what the doctor is going to say.

The nurse looks at them both before stepping back out in the hall, returning seconds later with the two uncomfortable chairs placed there earlier. Eric takes two steps back so he is standing next to Calleigh, needing to be close to her. The nurse follows, placing the chairs directly in front of them. He feels Calleigh's hand at his hip, warm and reassuring and sinks into the chair next to her, shifting the baby up against his shoulder, freeing up a hand so he can grasp Calleigh's like a lifeline. The nurse and doctor sit so they are facing the couple, the grim look on their faces telling them all they need to know, the unnecessary words that follow almost unheard.

"I'm sorry. We ran some tests while we had her in the procedure room. An ultrasound among them, and they show that the bleeding has not slowed much at all, the damage to her abdominal cavity and organs getting worse. Her organs are shutting down; even with the blood we were pumping into her. While we were certain it was going to end like this we had hoped she might just be strong enough to fight it but that's not the case. Her body has given up; it was all just too traumatic for her. If she had of been under our care for the entire pregnancy we may have been able to foresee this, may have seen some indication that her body wouldn't cope with the birth and we might have been able to stop it from happening, but in all reality there was probably never any real warning, this just happens sometimes and there is nothing that can be done to prevent it or stop it once it occurs."

Eric doesn't want to believe it. Even though they had told him this right from the beginning he had still hoped they were wrong and she would come out of it, this was Arianna they were talking about, she never lost a fight. And she had been sitting up, talking, holding her baby, feeding her baby. Dying women don't do that. While all this is running through his head he looks at her, his eyes studying her body. She looks so peaceful, how can her body be so messed up inside when it is so perfect to anyone looking? He runs his eyes over her face, down her body, across the machines she is hooked up to, and that is when he notices something is missing but he can't place it. He runs through what the doctor had said and instantly realises what is missing.

"Were pumping. What do you mean were pumping? Why have you stopped? Her body can't keep fighting if you don't give it the blood it needs. If she is losing blood and you don't give her anymore how is her heart going to keep fighting?"

"I'm sorry Eric but I discussed this with every colleague I have and we all agree this is the best way. She is losing too much blood and while we can keep replacing it and keep her heart pumping, her organs are already shutting down, it's not helping her and if we continue to give her blood we will keep her alive for awhile longer, maybe give her an extra day or two at most, but she will be in pain, a lot of pain. This way will be better for her. She will wake up again, probably a few times, but eventually she will go to sleep and pass away peacefully. She will probably go sometime during the evening, very early morning at the latest. You have a few hours left with her. We have put a glucose solution in her I.V. to give her some energy so that when she does wake she will be able to stay awake for short periods, but talk to her as much as you can. Some of the time you think she may be sleeping she will be awake, just too weak to open her eyes and let you know."

Neither Calleigh nor Eric respond. They just sit there, despair clear on their faces. The nurse and doctor sit quietly for a moment, letting the couple take it all in, waiting in case they have any questions. When it is clear they are not going to respond at all the nurse rises quietly and stands behind the doctor waiting for him to follow. He reaches over and places a hand on Eric's knee, waiting till the man looks at him.

"If you have any questions, anything at all, just call for a nurse and they will get me. I'll stay here as long as she is with us so don't hesitate to call me if you need me. I'll come straight away."

And with that he too rises, leaving the room, taking his chair with him. The nurse looks back at them as she lifts her own chair.

"Anything you need, just holler. We are all here for you. Any one of the staff members out there will do whatever you need us to do."

"Thankyou" Calleigh responds. The nurse nods and turns to leave but just as she gets to the door Calleigh speaks up again.

"Actually there is something. Could you check up on our friends for us? The CSI's that came in last night, Boa Vista and Caine? Horatio was going back into surgery today and we want to know how he got on."

"Certainly, I'll do it right now" she responds, leaving the room, chair in hand.

They sit there quietly. Calleigh wriggles the fingers of her hand; Eric is holding it so tight the blood can't reach her fingers. He feels her move and instantly relaxes his grip apologising immediately. She squeezes him back before turning her hand over, lacing their fingers together. They just sit there, nothing Calleigh can say will soften this for him and she herself is breaking at the news. She has known Arianna less than a day but has already come to care for her greatly. Seeing how much Eric loves her probably played a part in that, but talking to the woman herself is likely the biggest factor. If she had meet Arianna at a different time they would have become great friends. She is so strong and she seems to be so honest, not accepting or giving any bullshit, two things Calleigh admires. As well she seems to be just plain fun, something Calleigh knows she does not get enough of. It is not fair this is happening to her. It shouldn't happen to anyone, but especially not someone like Arianna, who has already gone through more than her fair share but is still smiling, more worried about Eric than herself. Sometimes life really is a bitch.

The arrival of the nurse back in the room draws their attention off the woman in the bed. They both turn to her expectantly and she doesn't keep them waiting.

"They are both doing well. Ms. Boa Vista is doing so well they even got her up out of bed and she did a couple of laps of the ward. They are keeping her under close observation just because water in the lungs can cause complications that may present after the fact as well she is starting I.V. antibiotics in case she picked up anything in the water. They are still looking at releasing her on Monday. Lieutenant Caine went back into surgery. They did further repairs to his bowel and repaired the damage to his pancreas. He is still on the ventilator but his heart rate has come back down to an acceptable rate and his glucose levels have stabilised. They are very happy with him at the moment."

"Thankyou" they both respond.

"You're welcome. I asked the nurses looking after them to keep me updated so I'll let you know how they are going as I hear."

They both simply nod at her and she leaves the room without another word. Calleigh makes a move to get up but Eric's hand stops her. He is holding her as if he will never let go and she settles back in her chair, turning to look at him, knowing he will talk when he is ready. She sits there looking at him for several long silent minutes, her thumb rubbing small circles on the back of his hand. Finally he turns to look at her and the utter devastation she sees in his eyes crushes her.

"I'm not ready for this. I'm not ready to let her go" he whispers, the sobs racking his body as he finally accepts they are not all going to walk out of this room together. Arianna is never going to walk out.

Before she even contemplates her actions she is up out of her chair and climbing next to him on his, raising the leg rest of his chair as she wriggles in. He shuffles over automatically and she squeezes herself flush against his right side, her body half draped across his, their legs tangled together. She reaches up and strokes his cheek, her lips following her hand, pressing soft kisses to his skin. She sees the tears in his eyes and wipes them gently as they start to fall, kissing away the ones her fingers miss. Snuggling in closer so there is absolutely no room between them, squeezing him in a tight hug before resting her right hand on the baby's back, gently rubbing small circles. She settles her head on his shoulder, her lips against his neck and there they lay, her kissing him softly and murmuring quiet words of love, sorrow and support, all the time his silent tears stream down his face, falling into her hair, leaving their mark, while his body shakes from the sobs, his heart breaking.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter Ten**

It is a long time before Eric can compose himself, having Calleigh there, pressed against him, makes him feel more secure and loved than he ever has in his life, giving him the courage to let it all out, his utter devastation at the loss of Arianna, the little sister he had vowed to protect, finally hitting him. Calleigh just stays with him, her breath warm and reassuring against his neck, her hand alternating from rubbing soothing circles on Xavier's back to pressing firmly on his chest as if to hold his breaking heart together and he finds himself thanking god she is with him, he wouldn't be able to do this if she wasn't.

After nearly half an hour Calleigh feels Eric relax beneath her, his slow steady breathing telling her he has fallen asleep. The first ten minutes she had held him he had sobbed uncontrollably and she didn't think she had ever hurt for him more before, not when he had been shot, not when he had discovered the truth about his birth and his real father and not when he had fought for his life after helping his father escape, nor did she think it was possible she could ever hurt for him any more, but the second his sobbing stopped she knew she was wrong. What followed was even worse. It started so quietly she didn't realise his indecipherable mutterings were words until the soft sounds raised into a hushed urgent pleading. Listening hard she realised he was pleading with god to get him through, promising to be a better man if he spares Arianna, make him wake up and see it is all a dream, but the hallow look in his eyes told her he knew his pleading and bargaining was futile. There was nothing they could do; they were going to lose her. His words slowly faded out but the tears never stopped, their hot tracks burning a path down his cheeks. Eventually though even his tears ceased and he was left a broken man. He lay there silent and still until he finally let sleep claim him. It is only then that Calleigh lets herself cry. She cries silent tears for Arianna and Xavier, but mostly for Eric and the loss he is experiencing, one he is and always will blame himself for, no matter what she says to him, another unseen scar for him to bear.

It is close to an hour later that the baby's soft cries wake her, she hadn't meant to fall asleep but the emotion on top of her lack of rest had pulled her under. She looks quickly towards Arianna, seeing the woman still fast asleep, not having moved at all the entire time. Feeling Eric stir beneath her she lifts herself up, soothing the baby as she does so. She looks into Eric's deep brown eyes now staring at her and sees the acceptance and despair within. Leaning over she places a kiss on his lips before pressing her forehead against his, whispering softly,

"We'll get through this Eric. Together. I promise."

Placing another kiss against his lips she rises off the chair before reaching over to the call button to summon a nurse. They wait less than a minute for her to appear and Calleigh asks for a bottle for the baby. She lowers the leg rest on Eric's chair before walking around the room, stretching her legs and body. Heading over to the table by the door she prepares some of the food she had bought earlier, more for something to do than actual hunger. The nurse comes back and takes the bottle over to Eric who feeds the baby on autopilot. As she goes to leave the room she spies the bag of coffee and the thermos Calleigh bought with her and picks them up, taking them with her. She takes them into the break room, putting a note on the coffee for no one else to use while she waits for a pot to brew. Once it is done she fills the thermos and takes it back to them, telling them to holler when they run out and she will refill it. Calleigh acknowledges her but Eric does not even notice. She looks over at him and sees him still holding the bottle to the baby's mouth even though it is empty and the baby is once again asleep. She lifts the bottle away and goes to take the baby but Calleigh stops her, reaching for the child herself. The nurse leaves as Calleigh puts Xavier to her shoulder to burp him as she watched Eric learn earlier and places him in his crib once she is done. She then heads out into the hall to retrieve the uncomfortable chairs and places them at the bedside. This seems to grab Eric's attention and he looks at her with questioning eyes.

"Well the armchairs are too big to get near the bed and I thought we might want to be as close to her as possible when she wakes" she explains. He simply nods and she returns to her armchair next to his, reaching over for his hand, lacing their fingers together before sitting and waiting.

Arianna wakes about half an hour later and they are quick to sit at her side. They keep it light and cheerful, bringing the baby to her, placing him on her chest. Arianna smells the coffee and comments on it and that leads to Calleigh telling her about Eric's secret santa gift at work the year before, four large bags of the stuff because he is always complaining about the crap the lab uses. They are telling her a story from the lab Christmas party that followed the gift giving when she quietly starts to tell them of her Christmas plans she had for the baby, what she had thought she would buy him and the one tradition from her childhood she wanted to honour with him. Every night from the first of December her mother would pull out a large basket which contained twenty five wrapped Christmas books. Arianna and Marco would take it in turns to choose and unwrap one book and they would all snuggle on the couch and read the story before standing the book on the mantle place and going off to bed. The more books on the mantle, the closer to Christmas it was. There was always one book marked as last that was opened on Christmas morning. It was the Christmas story and they would sit under the tree and read it together before any presents were opened. It was one of her favourite memories and she wanted Xavier to experience that. Eric promises to make sure he does and Calleigh makes a mental note of everything Arianna tells them to be sure her every wish is followed.

Arianna tires very quickly, the talking too much for her and she drifts off to sleep in the middle of a story about an Easter egg hunt Marco had ruined by getting up early and rehiding all the eggs so they were too high for her to reach. Calleigh remembers what the doctor said about her probably being able to hear them and finds herself telling her stories of her favourite Christmas and Easter memories, noting that her stories all take place in the last nine years and feature Eric heavily, her childhood memories never even worth a mention. As she talks she finds Eric slowly coming out of his despair, laughing at the shared memories and correcting her when she is wrong and reminding her of details she has forgotten.

The rest of the afternoon and evening are spent much the same; Eric and Calleigh doing most of the talking, even when Arianna is obviously awake, talking causes her to tire very quickly. They tell her every story that comes to mind, from crazy crime scenes and funny arrests, to pranks played at the lab, their friends and family and even their dates. She offers brief comments here and there but generally she lies before them, listening to their stories with a smile on her lips. They leave the baby in her arms, only moving him to feed and change him and when the doctor comes in every hour to check her. They try to avoid talking about what Xavier's life may be when he is older, not wanting to remind her what she will be missing, but it is her that brings it up. At one time when she is awake and quite alert looking down at the child resting on her chest she interrupts a story about a woman who nearly got away with murder because no one knew she was a twin to ask if they thought Xavier would always resemble his uncle. Eric and Calleigh are shocked at the question and don't immediately reply, Arianna filling the silence.

"I mean he is the image of Marco, except his colouring. He gets that from Julian.."

"Julian?" Calleigh interrupts.

"Yeah Julian Lafevre. The guy I ran from. Xavier's ...you know."

"Jesus Ari. How could you not have known. Everyone in Miami must know who he is" the panic in his voice evident.

"Well not me Eric. That wasn't my world. Sure I got caught up in shit before but it was kid stuff, never anything in his league. I met him by chance. I was at a club and some guy was hassling me and he was passing on his way to his private room and he stepped in. What can I tell you, I was naive. The private room should have given him away but I was in awe, and I loved how he treated me, how everyone treated me when I was with him." Slightly out of breath she closes her eyes and concentrates on getting her breath back. Eric and Calleigh stare at each other, Eric's near silent cussing unheard by Arianna but heard loud and clear by Calleigh and she feels like swearing right alongside him. Protecting Xavier just became all the more important; the man who must never learn of his existence is one of the biggest drug lords in Miami.

"I'm sorry, I should have told you before but I was worried it would scare you off" Arianna's words bring their attention back to her.

"Never Ari, I promised I would watch over him and even if I was hiding him from the devil himself I would never break that promise."

"Good" is her simple response before she goes back to her previous thoughts. "Xavier looks so much like Marco. Do you think he will when he's older? What will he look like at his birthday party next year? He is going to change so much in the year, will he still look like his uncle?"

"I can't tell you that Ari, but going on the fact he is the image of Marco, I'd say that the cheeky little face staring over the top of the birthday cake he has just smashed his fist into will be very much the same as Marco's."

She smiles at the image before throwing them with her next question. "What type of cake?"

"What?" they both ask in confusion.

"What type of cake will he have? A number one? A teddy bear? What will it be? What will his party be?"

Eric looks to Calleigh, unsure how to answer or if he should answer at all. She nods at him; realising Arianna wants the images of Xavier's future.

"Well..." Eric hesitates, unsure what to say, before remembering his nieces first birthday not long before and drawing from that. "You know my family, so you know it will be big, plus my family at the lab are sure to love this little guy when they meet him so they will spoil him too. There will be millions of presents and balloons everywhere. Trains I think. Every little boy loves trains and my mom makes a fabulous train cake that sits on tracks made of liquorice and everything. There will be lots of food, as there always is. Kids running everywhere; Music playing loudly. Xavier will be the guest of honour, the centre of attention. He will be passed from one family member or friend to another and will be doted on and spoilt the entire time. He will eat too much sugar, be sticky and messy and will pass out before the party finishes, exhausted from all the excitement."

"That sounds perfect you know. I like that he'll have so much family around. We never had that, only when I was older and adopted yours. I always envied you your family. I am so happy Xavier will get that."

"Yeah, family is something he'll never lack. He'll wish at times he didn't have so much of it, but he'll appreciate them more often than not. They are going to love him. They will never know he is not my biological son but even if they did I don't think that would change how they treated him."

"He looks like you to you know." Arianna tells Eric.

"Yeah" Eric replies with a chuckle. "Freaked Cal out a bit when she saw him." He smiles at Calleigh who smiles back in response. "I guess Marco and I being so similar has become a blessing again. Just looking at Xavier no one will ever question me being his father. They may question his light skin, being that you are darker than me, but that will just be my family cause no one else has met you and I'll just tell them it's a throwback or something if they ever ask."

"I like that he'll fit in." Arianna responds.

"What do you mean? With my family?"

"Well, yes that, but I mean in the future. When you and Calleigh have more kids. He'll look like them and won't feel like the odd one out. I never want him to feel like that, like he doesn't really belong."

Eric sees the panic in Calleigh's eyes but can't help the smile that crosses his face at the picture of them in the future, all their children running around them. He places a reassuring hand on her knee, squeezing gently and opens his mouth to answer Arianna but Calleigh beats him to it.

"He will never feel left out. Never feel like he doesn't belong. I promise you that."

He can still see the fear and doubt in her eyes, but he knows she is trying to push it aside and accept Xavier into her life. Arianna doesn't respond, her eyes already firmly shut, but her mouth turns up into a small smile before sleep claims her again. Eric doesn't say anything to Calleigh, he knows talking about it now would push her and she might pull away completely, so instead he runs his hand further up her leg, stopping at her thigh and his thumb rubs small reassuring circles as he starts to tell a sleeping Arianna about a case they investigated involving a zoo keeper, his wife, an elephant and three buckets of red paint.

They continue to talk to Arianna, taking turns telling stories, but she wakes less and less. Just before midnight the doctor comes in for his hourly check-up and tells them it won't be long, her heart rate has slowed and her breathing is becoming laboured. He puts her on oxygen to make her comfortable and increases her pain relief. Eric is holding her hand, as he has been all night and Calleigh places hers on top, squeezing it tightly, placing her other hand on Arianna's arm, rubbing gently back and forth so she knows they are both there, she is not alone. Xavier wakes but doesn't fuss at all, he simply lies there quietly, his large brown eyes drifting around the room, stopping on Arianna's face, his tiny hand rhythmically grabbing and releasing fistfuls of her hospital gown. A nurse enters the room, asks if they need anything. They both shake their head in response. The nurse goes back out and gets two chairs, bringing them in and placing them in the corner on the far side of the room. The doctor sits down while the nurse fusses around the room. A look from the doctor stops her and she takes her seat next to him, starting their own silent vigil.

Calleigh keeps talking. She feels Eric's body tense next to her and knows he is starting to retreat again so she shifts as close to him as she can, pressing her body against his. The feel of her warm body against his own pulls him back and he joins in her story, this one about the surprise birthday party Eric planned for Calleigh years before they were dating only to have her ruin it by taking an extra night shift because she thought everyone had forgotten and she didn't want to be alone on her birthday. They bought the party to her; what she thought was going to be a long lonely night turning into one of the best. Thinking back, it was also the night she first realised she loved Eric; not that she ever had the courage to do anything about it.

Xavier never fusses. He lays on Arianna as quiet as a mouse, dozing softly but never falling back asleep, almost as if he is trying to spend as much time as possible with her. Calleigh moves her hand from Arianna's arm to the baby's back, her fingers tracing a pattern on the soft cotton of his romper suit. Eric starts telling Arianna about his plans for Xavier, seeing before how happy the idea of his first birthday made her, and wanting her to have that happiness and peace when she passes. He tells her of the first day of school, Xavier confidently walking in the building without so much as a backwards glance at his sobbing father; the little league team he will coach, their son the lead batter; the birthdays, Christmas', Easters and fourth of Julys. He talks continuously, his strong clear voice the only sound filling the room and at 12:37am when Arianna draws her final breath it is with a small smile playing on her lips and the image of a teenage Xavier beating his father in a game of basketball in the driveway on her mind.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter Eleven**

Calleigh feels Arianna still beneath the hand she has placed on Xavier, the very slight movement of her chest now gone. She senses the doctor behind her and turns to watch him switch off the monitors, for the first time noticing they had been silenced long before so the alarms would not disturb them. He confirms she has gone before he notes the time and motions to the nurse to remove the tubes and wires from Arianna. Calleigh lifts Xavier so they can do so before settling him back on her chest once they are done. The doctor places a hand on Eric's shoulder with a grave "I truly am sorry for your loss" before he turns and leaves the room, the nurse following him out, "we'll give you some time alone" said over her shoulder.

Eric knows the moment Arianna has passed. Even if he had not been holding her hand and felt her grip relax within his own he would have known she was gone, he felt it in his heart, sensed she was no longer part of his world. He thought he was all cried out, that there would be no more tears when she finally went, but he was wrong. A silent stream of tears slide unheeded down his cheeks. If he was with anyone else he would have hidden them, but not with Calleigh, he doesn't want to hide anything from her and he knows he doesn't have to, he is not ashamed for her to see him cry. The presence of the nurse and doctor go completely unnoticed by him, as do the doctor's grip on his shoulder and their words as they leave the room, it is only Calleigh's warm hand placed on his arm that draw his eyes up from where they have been staring at his legs, his tears dripping dark splotches onto his jeans.

The sight of him quietly breaking before her is too much for her. She does not realise she is crying as well until he reaches out and softly wipes her own tears away.

"Oh baby" is all she can manage. She goes to him, sliding from her chair to his lap, his arms reaching around her and pulling her closer. She wraps her own arms around him and buries her face in his neck, her tears sliding along his skin and down onto his shirt. He places a gentle kiss to her hair before resting his head on hers, his own tears falling into her blonde locks.

For a long time they sit like that, lost in their embrace allowing their grief to wash over them. They are not the violent sobs of earlier, but simply almost silent tears, continuously falling from both of them. They take their comfort from each other, holding tightly to the other, their bodies pressed as firmly together as possible. Eventually their tears subside, Eric is surprised when he realises his tears end long before Calleigh's. Calleigh hardly ever cries, not that she ever lets anyone see anyway. While he is sorry that he is partly responsible for her current tears, having bought this all into her life, he is quietly happy that she is allowing him to see her like this, allowing herself to let go and cry not just in front of him but in his arms, her actions telling him more than her words ever could. He gently rubs soothing circles on her back, his other hand stroking through her hair. She snuggles in tighter; he doesn't even think that is possible, squeezing him tightly before mimicking his actions on his back with both her hands. Placing a light kiss on his neck she shifts to look up at him, the sight of her red eyes brimming with unshed tears causing a few of his own to slip out and roll down his cheeks. She leans up and kisses them away before settling back into his embrace, not wanting to give up the comfort she feels in his arms. He is glad she doesn't move, he wouldn't have let her go if she had tried.

They continue to sit entwined together until a soft knocking draws their attention to the door. The nurse enters the room and softly tells them it is time to take Arianna. They look at her in astonishment as they realise it has been over an hour since she has passed. Eric reaches out and grabs Arianna's hand, he is not ready for them to take her, but Calleigh reaches and places her hand between theirs, palm up and their fingers laced together before pulling his hand back to her body, cradling their joined hands against her chest.

"You have to let her go Eric. It's time" she tells him before placing soft kisses against his jaw. She feels him nod against her, the stubble on his face grazing her cheek, but the shuddering of his chest tells her how hard this is for him. The nurse motions for the two orderlies in the hall to come in before reaching over the bed and picking up a now sleeping Xavier. She looks at the couple sitting together, the question in her eyes answered when Calleigh nods her head and motions with their entwined hands for her to bring the baby to them.

The nurse hands her the baby and she breaks her hold on Eric to lay him against her chest before again taking Eric's hand in her own and resting them on the baby's back. Her actions draw his attention to the baby in her arms and she is grateful for this as the orderlies silently wheel the bed out of the room almost unnoticed by him. The nurse comes to their side, placing a hand on each of their shoulders until they both look up at her.

"This room is yours for the time being, definitely for the rest of the night. We have a few spare rooms at the moment so we are hoping we will be able to keep it aside for you until Xavier is ready to go home in a couple of days. Is there anything we can bring you to make you more comfortable? Did you want a bed bought back in?"

"No" they both answer quickly. "The armchairs are fine" Eric finishes. "Thanks" Calleigh adds with a small smile. With a nod of her head the nurse goes to the door, pausing before she exists,

"Don't hesitate to ask for anything you need. We are all here for you."

They sit together silently, their thoughts wandering but still very much focused on each other and the child in their arms until Calleigh feels Eric wriggle beneath her, the uncomfortable chair finally getting too much to bear. Even so, he still resists Calleigh's attempts to move, holding her firmly in his lap for another five minutes until she pulls free and stands, walking around the room with the sleeping baby in her arms. He stands also, his legs buckling slightly as the feeling returns. He paces around, willing the shooting pains to stop. Eventually they do and he walks up behind Calleigh, pulling her back firmly against his chest, his arms tightening around her middle. He looks over her shoulder at the sleeping child still snuggled against her chest before his eyes wander over to the large empty space in front of them. The place Arianna's bed had been before but was now tragically bare and he feels the overwhelming loss build up.

"She's really gone. She's left me, left us" he chokes out, raising one hand from her waist to rest with hers on the baby's back.

"I know baby. I'm so sorry. It's not fair."

"No it's not. She should still be h..here.. holding her s..." he stops his voice breaking, his arm falling back to her waist, pulling her even tighter against him. She feels his sobs and tries to turn in his arms but he keeps them firmly around her waist, holding her in place, not loosening even slightly to let her turn. So instead she turns just her head and places gentle kisses on his cheek, resting her head against his, closing her eyes and just standing with him, allowing him to cry against her. Xavier starts to wriggle slightly in her arms and she knows he will wake soon, she strokes her fingers along his spine lulling him back into a deeper slumber, buying Eric a little more time to grieve.

Finally she feels him still against her back, his breath warm against her cheek, slowing and evening out. His hand once again rises to the baby's back, covering her own, his fingers joining hers as they trace across the soft cotton of the romper.

"She's really gone and it's just us now. We are all he has. We're on our own. Just the three of us."

He feels her tense against him and mentally kicks himself. He knows she is still struggling with accepting a role in Xavier's life and he doesn't want to push her, but with everything that has happened and his lack of sleep, his mouth is moving faster than his brain and it just slips out. But he is mad too, can't she see what a gift this child is and how great she already is with him, how she could be the perfect mother for him. Sure he would give anything to change what has happened and not have to step up and become Xavier's fulltime papi, because that would mean Arianna would still be with them and not dead. But he would not change Xavier for the world and is proud to be his papi. He just wishes Calleigh would get over all the crap she is fighting and step up with him. He wants her by his side as he raises this little boy, not because it would make it easier on him to have someone but because she is perfect and already more of a mother than most women he knows and not only does she deserve to have this wonderful little boy in her life, but Xavier deserves nothing less than her. Eric knows that he will never find anyone other than Calleigh, no one else will ever measure up and he will not accept anything less for himself or Xavier.

Calleigh tenses at Eric's words. She quickly tries to hide it but she knows he has felt it. It's not that she doesn't want to be in Xavier's life, it's that she knows she will mess it up and hurt him, in her eyes its inevitable. While Arianna was still holding on she could push the doubts aside by focusing on her and what she was going through, what she was losing, but Eric's words make her realise that with Arianna now gone, it is time for Calleigh to step up beside Eric and it panics her. She feels first the regret coming from Eric at his words but it quickly changes to anger. She doesn't blame him, her fears have caused them heartache before, been the reason for so much lost time between them, her biggest regret in life. She will do anything to not have this conversation with him now, he has just lost someone important to him, and he doesn't need to battle her demons and fears as well. She feels him taking deep breaths, attempting to quash his anger, his arms tightening painfully around her. He loosens them immediately at the sound of her gasp.

"Sorry" he mutters into her hair.

"That's fine."

"No, it's not. I hurt you. I never want to hurt you. It's just..."

"I know and I'm sorry. I don't mean to be like this. I'm scared. I love you so much. And Xavier ...he's not a bad thing but...he's...what if..." she stumbles, finding it hard to put her thoughts into words. At the feel of a soft kiss pressed to the back of her head she finds the strength to continue, only to be interrupted by a loud squawk from the baby in her arms.

He feels her relax in his arms, her relief at the interruption evident. He chuckles into her hair.

"Saved by the baby. Perfect timing there little man."

"No Eric. I want to have this conversation with you. I want so much to do the right thing here, I'm just struggling to figure out exactly what that is."

Sighing he pulls away from her, Xavier's protests getting louder by the minute. He heads for the door. "I'll go see about a bottle" he tells her, pausing with a hand on the door to turn and look at her. "We'll finish this later."

She doesn't answer, merely nods her head and offers him a small smile. As he starts to turn back she motions towards the Thermos and with a chuckle he picks it up, looking sadly at the soggy sandwiches and stale muffins, his stomach grumbling longingly even at their sorry state. She grins at the noise and follows his eyes.

"Why don't you see what you can find us to eat? Probably not much at this time of night but there must be something better than that."

"Sure, I'll be back soon" he replies as he leaves the room. She starts to walk around the room again, stretching her legs and attempting to calm her nerves. Xavier's crying settles with her movements, but he continues to wriggle and softly voice his protests at having to wait so long for his bottle. The feel of the baby in her arms is so right it scares her and the way she has fallen straight back into it with Eric, even though it is exactly what she wanted, alarms her. Here they are, having only each other to lean on and she can feel herself getting deeper and deeper drawn in and she is still not sure if she is even capable of being what Eric and Xavier need. Watching what Eric is going through losing Arianna is heartbreaking and she cannot bear the thought of causing the same pain in him if she was to settle in with them only to find she isn't cut out for the whole family thing and have to leave them. Wouldn't it be better to leave them now before she has the chance to mess it up, before Xavier bonds with her and she gets in any deeper with Eric and then her leaving them will hurt them even more? Before her leaving will hurt her, break her heart?

At a soft sigh from the baby in her arms she looks down at him and finds herself completely lost in the big brown eyes staring back at her and she realises she is already in too deep. If she was to leave now her heart wouldn't just break, it would shatter, not to mention what it would do to Eric if she were to walk out now. But it is not her and Eric she needs to consider, it's Xavier. She was ready to try again with Eric and risk her heart once more, although she was hoping there would be no risk involved, they had both grown a lot over the last year, but Xavier changes it all. She is not sure if she has what it takes to be a mother to him, and that is what she would be if she stayed with them. And what if she does stay and try and it doesn't work out, it would kill her to leave Eric but they are adults and would be going in to this with their eyes open, Xavier is an innocent child who would suffer just because she is too selfish to walk away now before she messes it up. But what if she doesn't mess it up? What if, with Eric by her side, she is able to overcome her fears and misgivings and love them both wholeheartedly and be the partner and mother they deserve? Doesn't she finally deserve the chance to make it happen?

A noise at the door causes her to turn, bouncing a very upset baby in her arms, attempting to settle his cries. Expecting Eric or a nurse to bring her a bottle she is surprised when instead a girl of no more than twelve skips in, the baby's bottle in her hand.

"Hey, I'm Emmy. They asked me to give this to you" she sings, offering the bottle to a slightly shocked Calleigh.

"Where did you come from? It's what, two in the morning. Why are you running around a hospital at this time of night?" she finally responds accepting the bottle from the girl's outstretched hand.

"Oh, my mom's having a baby. She's in a room down the hall. I went for a walk cause we've been here for hours and they said it will still be ages yet."

"Should you be wandering around like this?" she asks, patting the back of the howling baby.

"Yeah. I'm fine'" she replies, ignoring the child's wails. "This is like the fourth time I've stayed with my mom. I'm the oldest of seven, soon eight and cause I'm the oldest she lets me come with her now. I didn't like it the first time, it was gross, but now I love being here. I get a bit bored with the waiting though and so I go for walks around the ward. The nurses give me jobs to do to keep me busy and out of their hair. Nurse Rogers is my favourite. She reminds me of my nanna, and she always has special treats for me. She's the one who sent me in here. She has your husband at the desk signing some paperwork. He said to tell you he would be in soon. Nurse Rogers said she bought some extra spaghetti in with her tonight that she is gonna take him to the staff room to get once they are done with the paperwork, or something like that. He was arguing with her about the food, but she told him to stop being stubborn and let her help him, she's happy to do it. She's funny Nurse Rogers, a bit bossy sometimes but she always looks out for me when we're here. Hey, you're not doing that right. He won't feed if you do it like that. Here let me show you. He your first I guess? He's all worked up, must have left him too long to give him the bottle. Here just squeeze a bit of the milk on his lips and see if he'll start drinking. No, lift his head back up a bit; you've got him at a funny angle. Here let me show you."

Calleigh just stares at the girl through her monologue, unable to keep up with her bouncing energy she is slow to process what she is saying and the girl almost has Xavier out of her arms before Calleigh realises what is going on.

"No, don't take him...just show me...tell me what to do...he's not been like this before...what do I do?" she pleads, pulling the screaming baby tighter against her, desperately trying to calm him as she offers him the bottle.

"Sure" the girl replies "here sit in this chair. Now just squeeze some of the milk out onto his lips. No, stop, just a couple of drops. He'll lick it and then should search for the bottle. There you go, he's sucking a bit now."

"Yeah, but listen to him, he's still complaining. He's wriggling and pushing the bottle away. He's not happy. What's wrong with him?" she begs, getting flustered as everything she tries doesn't help. Xavier is getting more worked up by the second, his little body hot and sweaty as his sobs tear at her heart.

"They normally just eat and sleep when they're this little. He sure is upset about something. Try rocking him a bit and keep offering the bottle."

"That's making him worse" she cries as Xavier's protests once again become unbearably loud. "Hush Xavier" she pleads "I'm trying. I don't know what you want."

"Hey, don't worry; he's just out of sorts. We'll settle him."

"No, clearly I can't. He doesn't want me; I don't know what I'm doing. Here, you take him" she all but pushes the child into the young girl's arms.

"Hey, wait ma'am" the girl protests, panicking at the woman having a meltdown in front of her.

"No, you're fine. Look, he's already quietening down with you. I'll send his dad right in."

"He's not quietening, he has the hiccups" the girl proclaims. "Here, you take him back, I'll go get your husband for you" she says, trying to hand the baby back to Calleigh.

Calleigh puts her hands up, not letting the girl get close.

"No, I can't do this, I'm sorry" she whispers as she runs for the door, but she doesn't get far, Eric is standing there, blocking her exit.

He could hear Xavier's cries as he headed back to the room, two steaming plates of Spaghetti in his hands, thermos under his arm. He hurried to get to the door, dumping the plates on the nurse's desk as he passed so he could get in the room quicker. Something wasn't right in there, he had a horrible feeling and Xavier's cries were making it worse. As he got to the door he could hear Calleigh's panicked voice and that of the young girl, pleading with her. He rushed to open the door, catching Calleigh's last words as she runs to exit the room. He looks straight to her face, the desperation and fear in her eyes chilling him, and the panic he sees on her face spreads to his own.

"Calleigh, don't" he pleads.

"Don't what Eric" she retorts, and before he knows it her mask is back up, her features composed and clear, and that frightens him more than the panic. He can see what she is doing, she is hiding it from him, putting her walls back up, getting ready to run.

"Don't hide from me. Don't run"

"What don't you want me to hide? The fact I am way out of my depth. Have no idea what I am doing. Can't even calm a brand new baby who is only interested in food and sleep? Or the fact that a twelve year old girl has managed to do in two minutes what I couldn't do in twenty?" she finishes with a sad laugh as they both look at the girl in question holding a now quiet Xavier, happily suckling on his bottle. Sensing their eyes on her, she looks up and smiles.

"Hey, he seems to be ok now. Oh and he needs a new diaper, this one is really wet."

"Or the fact I didn't even think to check his diaper. Probably the most basic thing that would have just saved him half an hour of distress" she whispers, her eyes now eerily blank.

"I'm sorry Eric. I'm not cut out for this. I don't think I can do it" she breathes as she runs out the door, a sob echoing after her into the silent room.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter Twelve**

Eric just stands there stunned, not stopping her as she rushes past him and out the door, her devastating words as she disappears punching him in the gut. It takes him a moment to register that she has actually gone, still trying to process her meltdown over a wet diaper of all things. He knew he shouldn't have left her alone but he needed a second to gather his thought before they had that conversation so he wouldn't say anything to make it worse. Looks like the joke is on him though as it has clearly gotten much worse with little help from him.

He didn't mean to be gone this long, but the doctor grabbed him as he headed back with the bottle, there was some final paperwork to be completed. They had done all the paperwork with Arianna earlier to legally name him as Xavier's father but the doctor had discovered Eric hadn't signed one piece so he needed to get it sorted before any of it could be lodged and they didn't want to wait until later in case there were any problems. So he had stopped with the doctor at the desk to finish it while the nurse had asked a young girl playing in the hallway to run the bottle into Calleigh. The paperwork took longer than he expected and he was anxious to get back to Calleigh but Nurse Rogers was insistent he went with her to get some dinner she had bought in. Luckily it was already heated so he hastily dished it up, a feeling in his gut telling him to get back to Calleigh. The sound of Xavier's cries as he neared the door pulled at him, he should have listened to his gut and gone straight back into Calleigh, he never should have left her alone in the first place. She was trying to tell him she was struggling with everything and he still left her alone with the baby. He dumped the plates on the nurse's desk and all but ran for the door, pushing it open with more force than was probably necessary at the sound of Calleigh's panicked voice. He tried to stop her, pleading with her not to leave but she had already decided she can't do it, nothing he can say changes her mind and she brushes past him and out the door, her eyes eerily empty.

Sighing, he turns to run after her but a sound from in the room has him turning back to his son and the twelve year old girl holding him. He walks over to her and relieves her of Xavier, guilt rising within as he had actually been considering leaving her in charge so he could go after Calleigh. She offers him a sad smile, heading for the door, clearly eager to get away from the drama.

"He's a really sweet baby. He was just a bit upset. I'm really sorry, I did try to help her, but she just kind of lost it."

"Hey. It's not your fault, there's...other things going on. Thanks for helping. You seem to have a magic touch, he calmed down really quickly for you."

"Being the oldest of seven you learn a few tricks so you can watch TV in peace." She laughs over her shoulder as she exits the room "catch you 'round."

"Yeah, see ya" he calls back to her, his attention already shifting to the wriggling little boy in his arms. "You think she could have changed your diaper before she left" he mutters, walking to the change table to do just that. With the dirty deed done he settles into the armchair to give Xavier the rest of his bottle.

He busies himself fussing over the baby, trying to keep his mind off Calleigh and the hauntingly blank look on her face as she ran but he finds as the baby settles down and drifts off to sleep with the nearly empty bottle still in his mouth that he cannot keep thoughts of Calleigh away and his fear that she may not be coming back grows as the minutes slowly tick by. He needs her, can't do this without her. He reaches for his phone, ringing her mobile, listening as it rings out unanswered. Hanging up when it goes to voice mail he tries again and again. On the fifth try he sighs and as the beep sounds he finally gives in and leaves her a message.

"Cal, it's me. Please don't do this. Don't shut me out, don't run. Please come back and talk to me, or call me if you don't want to come back in here. I just need to hear your voice. Make sure your o.k. Please Cal...Please." He hangs up, his voice breaking into a sob.

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to stop the tears he can feel coming. He doesn't want to cry, can't let himself because he knows that if he starts he will never be able to stop. First he lost Arianna and now it looks like he has lost Calleigh too. Closing his eyes, it turns out, doesn't help, instead it makes it worse because now all he can see is her face as she ran out the room. He lifts his phone to call her again, sees it has not even been ten minutes yet but thinks what the hell, pressing number one on his speed dial. Again the voicemail.

"Please Cal, I love you. We can work this out."

He rises and places Xavier in his bassinet, knowing his anxious mood and constant fidgeting will awaken him otherwise. He draws the bassinet as close to the chair as he can though, and finds his hand wandering over continuously to caress his soft cheek, reassure himself that the baby is still there. He calls her about every ten minutes, leaving a message each time, hating the desperation slipping further into his voice with each one.

"Cal. Please don't ignore me, don't hide from me. Talk to me Cal, we can sort it out. You don't have to do anything you're not ready for, but don't run away. I love you."

"Please Cal, we'll get through this. Come back baby."

"Cal. We need to talk this through. If Xavier is too much we'll work it out, you don't need to do anything with him. Just don't leave me Cal. I love you."

"Calleigh. I need you. Please. I can't lose you. Please Cal. Please"

He sits staring at his phone between calls, willing it to ring. It never does. Just as he is about to call her yet again a message comes through.

''I'M OK. I LOVE YOU''

It doesn't answer his questions, his fear she won't be coming back is still there, but at least she is talking of love and that gives him the hope he needs to leave her be for the moment. He doesn't call her again, he understands her message loud and clear, give her some space. And even though it is the last thing he wants to do, he follows her wishes. He settles down into his armchair, turning so he cannot see her empty one at his side. He rests one hand on Xavier, taking comfort in the gentle rise and fall of his chest, and as he sits there in the quiet, his son on one side, her empty chair on the other his eyes dart back and forth from the black screen of his phone to the firmly closed door of the room, praying with all his heart that one of them will soon bring her back to him.

Calleigh pushed past him and ran out the door, past a startled Nurse Rogers who was looking at the two plates of Spaghetti on the desk with confusion and burst through the ward doors. Not waiting for the elevator she ran down the stairs, completely ignoring Doctor Tanner calling out to her as she brushed past him. Reaching the ground floor she headed straight for the hospital exit, but as she came upon the glass doors she found she could not walk through them. She just stands there, in the doorway, the few people around at this hour passing her with strange looks but leaving her to herself. She moves aside finally when a cleaner has to ask her to move out the door so he can get through with his trolley. She doesn't go far, merely a few steps to the left where she leans against the window, her forehead pressed against the cool glass. She is chastising herself, telling herself to get her butt into gear and either go back up to Eric or else go home, but she can do neither. She doesn't want to be here, but she can't leave either.

She stands like that for ages, the glass no longer cool against her forehead, her breath fogging the window beneath her. It is the cleaner behind her that finally draws her away from the window.

"You ok love. You have been standing there for nearly an hour" he asks, a gentle hand squeezing her shoulder.

"Yeah. Sorry am I in your way again."

"Nah, your fine. Though I think that window will be needing another clean. And the floor too."

"God. I'm sorry. Here, let me" she says, reaching for a cloth off the trolley.

"No you don't" he replies, gently batting at her hand. "That's my job. I've cleaned up a lot worse, believe me. I wish everyone's messes were like yours. A bit of fog and tears never really hurt anyone."

"Tears?" she asks in confusion.

"Yeah love, the ones you have been crying for the last hour. The ones that have been running down your face and dripping onto the floor. The ones still falling now" he gently tells her, handing her a tissue from his trolley.

She reaches her hand up to swipe at her cheeks, brushing the tears she hadn't even realised were falling across her face. Embarrassed she uses the tissue to wipe them, turning away from the cleaner, hiding her face.

"It's alright love. It's not like I haven't seen tears before. I know this is a hospital so this is probably a stupid question but are you alright?"

"Yeah. It's just been a long couple of days."

"Have you got someone to talk too? Even someone who will just listen, let you get it all out. In my experience it always helps."

She stares straight into his kind eyes for a silent moment before she realises what she needs to do. "You know what, your right. Thanks" she tells him, quickly getting up and jogging back the way she came, bypassing the stairs this time she gets on a waiting elevator. Getting out a few floors up, she looks hesitantly around, luckily the few nurses visible are occupied with a woman seated in the hallway so she is able to slip straight into the room without being stopped and having to explain herself.

Looking around the room she sees one chair empty and heads straight for it, sitting down and reaching for the hand of the man before her.

"Hey H. It's Calleigh here. God everything's gone to hell these last couple of days, hasn't it."

Glancing over at Kyle, the only other occupant in the room, she watches him closely to make sure he is fast asleep, only continuing when she is certain he is.

"Sorry I haven't been around much. You know how they say that things come in threes, well I finally believe it" she sadly chuckles. "You see, I have spent the last [looking at her watch] 28 or so hours sitting with Eric in a room not far from here. A woman from his past, someone he loved very much was there and about three hours ago she died. It was terrible H, I have never seen Eric so upset, not even when Marisol died. It's because he feels responsible. You see this woman, Arianna, was his best friend's baby sister and when his friend died years ago, Eric promised to watch over her, he would have done it even if he hadn't promised. But he gave his word, promised to protect her and now she is dead and he is blaming himself for not stopping it. But it gets worse H. You see Arianna just had a baby, a beautiful little boy, and now that she is gone, Eric is all he has left. He is doing the right thing, stepping up and accepting this little boy into his life. But here's the thing H, he wants me to be by his side, wants me to help him raise the baby, but I don't think I can" she pauses, her throat catching as she tries to stop the tears begging to fall before she continues at a whisper "I don't think I'm good enough."

"Oh Calleigh."

Startled Calleigh looks up at Horatio, but he is still out to the world, as is Kyle. It's not until she feels the warm hand on her shoulder that she realises someone else has entered the room, she was so caught up getting her story out she hadn't even noticed. She looks up at the owner of the hand and before she can stop them, the tears are pouring out.

"Hey baby girl" Alexx says, bending to wrap Calleigh in a hug. She squeezes her tight before pulling away, grabbing her hand.

"Come out to the hall. There is an empty family room a couple of doors down. It'll be all ours." Calleigh gets up and follows Alexx, hesitating at the door to look back at Horatio.

"He's doing well Calleigh. He is strong and he is fighting hard. He's going to make it. He has a long way to go but he'll be back before we know it." Calleigh nods in response before finally allowing Alexx to pull her from the room. Alexx catches a nurse's eye as they pass the desk and motions towards the family room. Receiving an understanding nod she pulls Calleigh into the room and flips the occupied sign so they will not be disturbed.

"Now tell me baby girl. What's all this about a baby. And where the hell did you get the idea that you are not good enough to be in his life."

Sighing Calleigh looks down at her hands. Twisting her fingers together in her lap she works through it in her mind, trying to figure out what to tell Alexx. She was OK telling H, he couldn't hear her, or if he could he certainly couldn't respond, couldn't look back at her with the pity in his eyes she knows she will see but Alexx is right there in front of her, trying to look into her eyes, trying to look into her. Stalling she pulls her phone from her belt and is surprised when it lights up in her hands, a call coming in, the phone vibrating in her palm. Looking at the screen she sees it is Eric and she freezes. Alexx notices and glances at the screen but doesn't say anything. They sit silently as Calleigh watches the screen, counting the rings until voicemail kicks in. She continues to stare long after the silent ringing has stopped, surprised when it lights back up to indicate the new voicemail, alongside seven other missed calls and three other messages. Clearly the vibration of the phone had failed to draw her attention as she struggled to deal with all the fears and doubts. She places the phone on the coffee table, a guilty feeling washing through her as she ignores Eric's calls. He must be so frantic the way she ran out like that, but she can't speak to him right now. She is not ready to face him.

Alexx watches her place the phone down. She'll deal with that later. For now she needs to figure out what's got Calleigh so wound up.

"Come on Calleigh. You can talk to me."

With a shuddering sigh Calleigh looks up into Alexx's eyes. She sees nothing but concern and love and it is that which pushes her over.

"How much of what I told H did you hear?"

"Pretty much all of it. You sounded like you needed to get it off your chest so I didn't disturb you. But I couldn't leave either. You sounded so..so broken."

"I'm not the broken one. It's Eric. You should have seen him Alexx. I have never seen anything so heartbreaking before. He truly loved her, they were very close. He vowed to protect her, but as he sees it he let her down and now she is gone. And she has left behind the most beautiful baby. He's perfect Alexx and Eric is all he has left in this world and he's doing the right thing, being the good guy and stepping up. He is so in love with him already, it's kind of hard not to be when you hold him. He's gonna be great with him, you can see it already. But he wants me to do it with him and I don't think I can Alexx. You know I didn't have much of a childhood. My parents don't really deserve the titles of mom and dad. I don't know how to be there for a child. No one was ever there for me, no one ever taught me what it is to be a parent. How am I supposed to be there for Eric and this baby when I don't know how? When I will probably mess it up and hurt them? They would be better off without me. I'm not good enough for them. I'll only hurt them" she finishes with a wracking sob.

Alexx's heart breaks at Calleigh's words and the sobs echoing through the room. She slips closer to her and wraps her arms around her. Calleigh doesn't fight it; she rests her head against Alexx and lets it all flow out. The grief over losing Arianna, the despair over watching Eric go through that and knowing she could not ease his pain, the terror she is going to lose him and the fear over if she is strong enough, good enough to be in their lives. Alexx holds her, whispering words of comfort in her ear, stroking her hair. Finally Calleigh's sobs subside and Alexx pulls back to look her in the eye.

"I don't want to ever hear you say you are not good enough. Do you hear me? Never. You are one of the most beautiful people in the world. You never put yourself first, you are always thinking of others. Just look at the way you throw yourself into your work. You never rest until you have solved the case, given justice to those who have been wronged. You give a piece of your heart to every victim and family member. And look at how you are with your friends, everyone from the lab, your real family, the one you have chosen not the one you were born into. You would do anything for them Calleigh and you often do. And Eric, God Calleigh, what you two have is once in a lifetime. I saw how you were when he was shot, after that incident with his father, this last year you have insisted on spending apart." She puts a hand up and Calleigh's protests. "I don't wanna hear it baby girl. I know you two had some stuff going on. I mean all that about the State Attorney and everything, but you know you belong together. I have one question for you" she asks, lowering her hand from where she had placed it against Calleigh's mouth "Do you love him.

"With all my heart" is Calleigh's instant reply.

"About time you admitted it. We have all watched you two fight this for so long we never thought it would happen. You are made for each other and no matter what you think, what goes on in that head of yours, you are good enough for him, probably too good. Your too good for all of us baby girl."

"It's not so much Eric though. If it was just me and Eric I probably wouldn't be here. I mean, I have some misgivings there as well. We have both hurt each other in the past and I don't think I could live through that again, but the chance to be with him, to be happy like only he makes me, far outweighs the possibility it may break my heart. But now there is a baby Alexx. A sweet, beautiful, innocent little boy who has no say about who's in his life, but if he did I'm sure he wouldn't choose me. I have no idea what I am doing with him. I didn't even think to check his diaper earlier and he was screaming the place down and I couldn't calm him. God Alexx, I couldn't even do what a twelve year old girl could do. He was so distressed he was screaming and all red and hot and there was nothing I could do to calm him. What if I do something worse next time? What if I really hurt him? I can't risk that."

"Oh Calleigh" she replies with a laugh. "Baby girl he was probably worked up cause you all were. Every parent goes through this. The first time I was home alone with Bryan I was constantly warming bottles so I would have one ready the second he woke, I was terrified he would cry and I wouldn't be able to settle him. I must have changed his nappy twenty times and I was only alone with him for three hours. If he even so much as moved I worried he was wet and uncomfortable so I changed him. And then there was this other time when he was crying and I couldn't get him to stop. I tried everything I could think of but he just wouldn't shut up and I lost it. I put him in his crib then I lay down on the floor next to it and I just sobbed. For what must have been half an hour I sobbed. I didn't even realise he had fallen asleep until Henry came home from work and found me. He got me off the floor and hugged me until I calmed down and when I was finally calm I turned to look at Bryan and there he was, fast asleep, the face of an angel. He looked so peaceful and perfect I wanted to pick him up and shower him with kisses. Henry stopped me of course. Later that night he woke up and Henry noticed him tugging on his ear. He had an ear infection Calleigh. You think me, the doctor, would have seen it, but no, I missed it completely. No one is a perfect parent Calleigh. We all make mistakes. There will be things you forget, things you just can't be bothered doing and times you wish they would all just disappear. But then you will be holding that little boy in your arms and he will smile up at you and your heart will melt and you will suddenly forget why you were mad at him, why you were hoping he would disappear and you will find yourself wishing that time would freeze and you could keep him like that forever. All the little things, the things that are scaring the hell out of you right now, the crying, the bottles and diapers, the sleep schedules and feeding routines and all that are just logistics Calleigh and they can be learnt. But it's the stuff that can't be taught that matters Calleigh and you have it by the bucket load. I saw you with the Chapman baby last year Cal. I was on shift here and I noticed you in with the mother and I stopped to chat with you but got called away before I had a chance, but I watched you with that baby. I saw how you held her, how you looked at her. As if she was the most precious thing in the world. As if you would do anything to protect her, make sure she was happy and safe. It's how you are with any child that is involved with a case. And the way you fight for them and burn yourself out every time just to get the answers for them. That is what matters Cal. That is how I know you will make a wonderful mother. How I know this little boy will be lucky to have you in his life. And if you love him even a fraction of how much you clearly love Eric, then he will be one lucky little boy."

"Do you think so Alexx. Do you think I can really do it?"

Alexx's heart breaks at the hope in Calleigh's voice. Calleigh's tears are falling freely again and Alexx reaches over, cupping her face with her hands and wipes them away with her thumbs.

"Baby girl. I think you are the perfect person to stand beside Eric and raise this little boy. There is no one in this world that could do a better job than you."

"Thanks Alexx" Calleigh whispers as Alexx again wraps her in a warm hug.

"But do me a favour Cal, call that man of yours. The buzzing from your phone vibrating on the table is driving me insane.

With a laugh Calleigh picks the phone up, seeing she now has ten missed calls and six messages. She opens the phone and listens to them, her heart slowly ripping from her chest as she hears the desperation in his voice getting stronger with each one, the final one nothing less than a pleading cry. She knows she won't be able to talk to him, the second she hears his voice she will break down so instead she sends him a quick message before turning back to Alexx.

"I better head back soon; I just need a little more time to get it together before I go face him. You should hear him on those messages Alexx, he sounds like he is about to break."

"He probably thinks he has lost you Cal."

"I hate that I've done that to him. He is so cut up over losing Ari and now he has this little boy as well. The last thing he needed was me freaking out on him."

"He'll just be happy you go back. Don't worry. He's probably had a bad couple of hours but he'll get over it as soon as you walk back in. There is one thing I want to ask though. It may be out of line so just tell me if it is, but how come Eric is taking this baby. Where is the father?"

Calleigh is too stunned to answer straight away. She knew this would come up eventually, she was just hoping she would have time to prepare. Alexx sees the look on her face and quickly back peddles.

"I'm sorry, it's none of my business. Just forget I asked."

"No Alexx, it's fine, it's just... Eric...Eric is the father. Xavier is his son."

This time it is Alexx that is shocked. She doesn't know what to say but the pity on her face as she looks at Calleigh says it all and Calleigh feels terrible. Everyone is going to think so badly of Eric, think he has done wrong by her when really they should be marvelling at him and all he has done right. She quickly tries to make it even a little better.

"It's not his fault. We were broken up and we were going through a really bad time there. In fact we were hardly even speaking. I said some things to him that pushed him over the edge and Ari was there for him. I don't blame him at all and I refuse to hold it against him. We were broken up and he did nothing wrong."

"Of course" Alexx replies. The way Calleigh is vehemently defending Eric is more than enough to convince Alexx that this is not going to come between them. "So, when do I get to meet this beautiful baby?"

"Soon, hopefully very soon. Eric isn't quite ready yet. He's just not up to it and all the questions that are sure to come. But he is such a proud papa that I'm sure he'll be dying to show Xavier off soon. He is so gorgeous Alexx. You should see his eyes. Beautiful big brown eyes...just like Eric."

"I can't wait baby girl. Now you better get up there before he starts to panic again."

"Thanks Alexx. For everything."

"I'm here for you anytime. If you want advice or a shoulder to cry on. Or if you just want to vent over something Eric has done or Xavier is refusing to do, namely sleep" she says with a laugh. "Or if you need me to pull anyone in line, i.e. Frank or Wolfe. I hear you are going to be in charge of the lab. Remember I am only a phone call away if someone needs a good slap."

Laughing Calleigh leans over and draws her friend into a warm hug. "I'm sure I'll take you up on that" she says as she stands and leaves the room, Alexx right behind her. They hug again at the door before Calleigh heads up to Eric and Alexx heads back into Horatio's room to resume her place by his bed.

Nervously Calleigh climbs the stairs slowly. She is eager to get back to Eric and Xavier, but she is hesitant also, afraid Eric may be more than upset with her for running. She shouldn't have worried though, the second she opens the door to the room, his eyes are on her, a smile on his lips at the sight of her, his arms open wide waiting for her. She shuts the door and walks quickly to him, falling all over him in her haste to be in his arms. He laughs at her clumsiness before drawing her firmly against him, her body atop his, their legs tangled together. He presses fierce kisses into her hair, pulling her face up to kiss any part of her he can. Finally she lifts her face all the way and their lips meet in a passionate kiss. She pours everything she has into it telling him with her lips and tongue how sorry she is and how much she loves him. She tastes salty tears and is not sure who they belong too. When air becomes a necessity they pull away gasping and she looks up at him to see the tears falling down his face. She reaches up to wipe them away the same time her reaches to wipe her own. Cupping her face in his palms he pulls her face down, resting their foreheads together.

"Don't ever do that to me again Cal. I thought I had lost you."

"I know. I'm so sorry. It just all got too much. I thought that..that I wasn't what you and Xavier needed. That I couldn't be the person you deserved."

"Cal. Baby. You are, and always will be the only person in the world for me. I am the one that doesn't deserve you. You are everything I could have ever wished for and so much more. I am lucky to even know you, let alone be with you. I need you so much it physically hurts when you are not with me and I count down the seconds until you will be back. You are the only person in the world I would ever consider doing this with. The only person good enough for Xavier."

The tears that had not quite ceased are back with vengeance at his words. It is his steadfast faith in her and his unwavering love that finally convinces her completely that she just may get through this. She still has her doubts, still has her fears that she may mess it up, but with Eric by her side she now believes she will get through it and they will come out the other side together.

"Eric. I'm sorry I ran. I promise you I won't do it again. I know it won't be perfect. We'll argue and fight and I'll probably do things wrong with Xavier, but if you promise to not give up on me, to help me get through this together then I promise I will come to you with any fears I have and we will work through them. I won't run Eric. I need you too. I love you so much."

"I love you too babe" he says as he pulls her back for another kiss. It quickly turns heated and just as they are about to go further than they ever should in a hospital room a small cry sounds from the bassinet next to them. Eric groans in frustration his mouth still pressed against Calleigh's and he feels her smile against his lips. Pulling away she reaches over to lift the baby up, placing him on Eric's chest before settling into Eric's side, her head over his heart, her hand on Xavier's back. Eric places his own hand over hers and the baby is fast asleep again in no time. He presses a soft kiss to Calleigh's hair and she draws her eyes from the baby to look up at him, a smile on her lips.

"We are really gonna have to work on his timing."


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter Thirteen**

She wakes to bright light streaming through gaps in the side of the blinds, the sun high up in the sky. Looking at her watch she sees it is well past ten am. They had gone to sleep pretty much straight away earlier, both so exhausted emotionally and physically they had simply relaxed into each other and passed out. Tentatively she stretches out, testing her neck and other joints and is surprised when she is not stiff and sore. A deep chuckle draws her eyes up to find him staring back at her.

"I know. I am so getting one of these chairs for home."

"Hey" she smiles up at him.

"Hey yourself sleeping beauty, about time you woke, my arm has lost all feeling" he teases leaning his head down to kiss her temple.

Slapping his chest lightly in response she lays her head back against his shoulder before pressing a light kiss to his neck.

"How long have you been awake?" she asks.

"About half an hour" he answers, one hand stroking through her hair, the other absently catching her own on his chest, lacing their fingers.

"Why didn't you wake me?"

"I was perfectly happy just lying here. And you need the rest."

"So do you."

"Yeah, but I'll have plenty of time for that later. You are the one going back to the lab on Monday. I don't even want to think about your workload, what with you running the lab and all. I'll be the one at home with a baby and nothing much else. I'll have plenty of sleep."

He feels the rumble of her laughter against him. "We'll just see how you go with that" she chuckles. "Speaking of the munchkin, where is he?" she asks, noticing he is no longer in the room, his bassinet also gone.

"One of the nurses took him to the nursery a few hours ago. He was due a feed and was just starting to stir when she came in. She said we looked exhausted and took him to give us a bit of a break. She'll bring him back with our lunch, which Nurse Rogers put our name down for by the way. She seems to have taken it upon herself to act as our keeper. Apparently she has written a list of all the stuff we'll need. She has broken it down into stuff we need to get immediately to take him home, stuff to get soon and then stuff as he grows."

"God. I hadn't even thought of all that."

"Relax Cal. It's not like we've really had the time. He won't be coming home until Monday at the earliest, still got plenty of time to sort it. Beside Arianna said before that she already had most of the things needed. There's a bassinet, car seat, clothes and some toys and blankets and stuff. She didn't have a stroller yet, couldn't decide apparently and the change table is built in so we will have to get both of those, as well as bottles and formula and bits 'n' pieces like that. There's a place not far from mine that my sister's use. They deliver and set it all up. I'll call them later and see if they can fix us up and we'll have to duck out and get the other stuff from Ari's"

"Eric, what about your parents, your sisters? They will help out. Get a nursery set up and everything. They probably have stuff they are no longer using that they could give you."

"Oh, I'm sure they would but I'm not ready for them yet Cal. I love them, don't get me wrong, but they are so overwhelming. Once they come, they will take over and I just want it to be us for as long as possible."

"I understand Eric, but what about Arianna. What about her funeral. I'll try and help you as much as I can, but I'm back at work on Monday and like you said, my workload will be crazy. We only really have today and tomorrow. You are going to be bringing home a new baby on top of that. I think it might be just too much to handle. Also I'm sure your family was close to Ari, don't you think they'll want to know she has passed, want to be able to say goodbye?"

"God Cal, I hadn't even thought of that" he breathes, echoing her earlier words, his voice catching with emotion. "Do you think I can leave it until tomorrow though, then we can have today to ourselves?"

"Sure Eric. Tomorrow will be fine. Your mom will be mad you kept her grandson from her until then, but she'll get over it. One more day isn't going to make a difference" she soothes. Hoping to erase the despair that has entered his voice at the thought of Ari's funeral she leans up to give him a soft kiss before they settle back into their embrace, his fingers resuming their gentle strokes through her hair, her thumb absently tracing circles on the back of his other hand still entwined with hers. They lightly doze, neither fully succumbing to sleep and are still like that when, two hours later, the door is pushed open and Xavier is wheeled in followed by their lunch.

"Well that's service. Soup, sandwiches and a side of baby" he says with a smile which grows to a full laugh at the sight of Calleigh rolling her eyes at him. "God I missed that" he says, leaning down to steal a kiss.

"What, my lips?' she sasses, a cheeky look on her face.

"That too" he replies, stealing another kiss before lifting her off his side and rising, dumping her back in the chair.

"Hey" she pouts, receiving only a smile thrown over his shoulder in response as he heads to the door to relieve the man there of their lunch trays. Calleigh rises also and walks to the bassinet the nurse is settling over in the corner.

"And how are you today little man?" she says, bending to pick up the grumbling, wriggling baby, settling him against her chest as she walks over to Eric to check out their lunch offerings.

"Hey, that doesn't look too bad" she states at the sight of the tomato soup, cheese sandwiches, fruit salad, muffins and juice.

"Yeah, it's good" Eric replies, all but inhaling half a sandwich.

"If you want anymore just yell out, we have heaps of sandwiches in the break room. From what I hear you two haven't eaten in over a day. Xavier's just had a bottle and someone will be in about 4pm to run through his bath with you. Also, Nurse Rogers was wondering if you could come out to her after your lunch. She has a few things she wants to go through with you" the nurse tells them as she leaves the room.

"Sure" Eric calls out to her as the door closes before he picks up the other half of his sandwich, eating it in two quick bites. He eyes up Calleigh's sandwich, weighing the odds he can steal it while she is busy with the baby.

"Don't even think about it buster."

"What" he replies, feigning innocence, his act ruined by the large smile spreading across his face as she leans to bump his hip with her own. He catches her around the shoulders as she bounces away, pulling her side tight against his own, leaning down and placing a kiss in Xavier's soft curls before straightening back up to kiss her temple.

"I would have got you another one."

"Yeah right" she smirks, "why don't you go get yourself another one and leave mine alone."

"Spoilsport" he mutters.

"Eat your soup before it gets cold and stop sulking" she tells him as she pulls away to place the now peaceful baby back in his bassinet before heading over and picking up her own sandwich.

"Oh, this is so good" she teases.

"That is very mean Cal" he responds, leaning in slowly as if to give her a kiss. When his lips are millimetres from her own, a smile crosses his face as her eyes drift shut before he promptly pulls back, stealing her half eaten sandwich straight out of her hand.

The soft groan that escapes her lips at the loss of his warmth is quickly squashed by a frown as she realises what he has done. Before she can react he has finished his stolen bounty and bends back down to take her lips in a heated kiss, chuckling as she opens to him with no complaint. When they finally pull away she swats at his arm.

"Don't think you get out of it that easily buddy. You still owe me a sandwich."

"Of course" he grins, bending to kiss the tip of her nose. "Anything else I can get you? Coffee?"

"As if you even need to ask" she laughs pushing him towards the door.

"I won't be long, I promise" he assures her, "Just yell out if you need me, the break room where I get the coffee is not far."

"I'll be fine Eric" she tells him as she walks to the door, pushes him through and firmly closes it behind him. She heads back to the food and finishes her lukewarm soup before starting on the chocolate muffin. She knew she was hungry but she didn't realise how so until she actually started eating. The muffin is heavenly and before she knows it she has finished hers. Checking the door is firmly closed she takes a large bite out of the muffin on Eric's tray, grinning to herself knowing he will get her back when he sees it, but the chocolate muffin being more than worth it.

She is just swallowing when he walks back into the room, a plate of sandwiches in one hand, the thermos of coffee in the other. He sees the guilty look on her face and glances around as he sets the food and coffee down, looking for what she has done. He misses it at first, but she knows the second he spots it, a wide grin spreads across his face which he quickly tries to cover with a pretend look of horror.

"Oh, I see how it is" he says, walking towards her, a mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"What?" she replies, trying to keep the laughter out of her voice but failing miserably.

"You know what missy, and now you are going to pay" he states just before he lunges for her, grabbing her around the waist and holding tight as she tries to get away. Pinning her to his chest with one arm he uses the other to tickle her, delighting in her laughter. This was the Calleigh he truly missed, happy, playful and teasing.

"Uncle, uncle, uncle" she gasps as she tries to twist out of his hold, collapsing against his chest as he stops his torture.

He holds her as she catches her breath before placing a finger under her chin and turning her face up to his to place a gentle kiss on her lips. As he pulls away he feels her hand snake up from his chest to the back of his neck, pulling his head back down to her. Her lips crash against his own in a heated kiss that leaves him wishing they were in the privacy of his home. She pulls away, gasping for air and he smiles as he leans in to nuzzle her soft hair.

"You're so lucky you know" he tells her.

"Oh am I now?" she responds, a smile playing at her lips.

"Yeah. Definitely. You're lucky I'm so easy and a kiss like that is all it takes for me to forgive you for your muffin indiscretion."

"Not lucky, just smart. I've known all along how easy you are" she teases as she pulls away to walk over to the coffee and sandwiches, swaying her hips ever so slightly, knowing all too well what she is doing to him. His tortured groan tells her she is succeeding.

They finish their lunch still teasing each other at every chance. Eric, so that he can get the gorgeous giggles and flirtatious smiles out of Calleigh that he has missed so much and Calleigh so that she can finally see him happy after the hell of the last couple of days and wanting to give him a break from the sorrow she knows will hit him again later as they start addressing Arianna's funeral.

Once they are done they head out to the nurse's station to talk to Nurse Rogers, Eric cradling Xavier in his arms. She takes them into the empty break room where they sit around the table and run through the lists she has made. In addition to the lists regarding the things they will need for Xavier there is also a list of childcare options, from day-care to nannies, which she would recommend. Calleigh takes them as Eric has his hands full, grateful for the nurse's thoughtfulness. Now they have a decent starting point on getting organised to take Xavier home without having to talk to any of their family and friends, something Eric still seems reluctant to do.

As they start to rise the nurse stops them, reaching over the table to grasp their arms. Turning back to her Calleigh sees what she is holding and shakes her head furiously at the woman hoping to stop her. But it is no use; her actions only draw a confused look from the nurse before she pushes the papers over the table. Calleigh feels Eric tense next to her at the sight of them and reaches her hand out to rest on the back of his neck, toying with the short curls there as the nurse starts talking.

"I don't know where you stand with this. Some people already have a place they like to use, maybe one they have used before, but if not we like to keep some of these on hand. These are all facilities we have dealt with here and have been happy with."

They both just stare at the papers, neither one of them moving. The nurse waits for a minute before she reaches over and takes them back, sorts through them and starts to separate them.

"This one here is a small, family run funeral home. Very intimate and classy. Nice friendly people that cater for smaller, private funerals" she says pushing the first pamphlet their way. "This one is a larger home. They specialise in extravagant, celebration of life affairs" she continues pushing another one across. "This one here is aimed at the religious, especially catholic funerals, while this one is more of the formal ceremonial style. Of course any of them would be happy to prepare any type of service you like" she finishes pushing the remaining papers to them.

She watches them for a moment, noticing they both glance more than once at the first one, giving the others only a cursory glance. She takes a deep breath before continuing. "I'm sorry to bring this up, but you are her next of kin and she appears to have no other family."

"Yeah...it's just me...us...I mean, she is part of my family...Her own family is long gone. Her parents when she was 15, her brother when she was 16. She was sent to an aunt but they were never close and she has also passed. So it's just me, and my family. She kind of adopted us." He feels Calleigh's fingers tighten slightly at his neck as she tries to reassure him and he offers her a small smile in response.

"Yeah, well because of that it falls on you to organise all this" the nurse continues. "Take a couple of days to decide on what you want. We can get started earlier if you're ready but we really don't need a decision until Monday morning. They will release her on Tuesday and we just need to know to which home that will be."

"Tuesday?" Eric and Calleigh ask in unison, confused looks crossing both their faces.

"Yes. Like the doctor told Eric last night. Due to the circumstances of her death an autopsy will be performed on Monday to confirm that it was natural causes and not something that may have been missed. It is quite common in cases such as this."

It is news to both Eric and Calleigh. The doctor may have told him the night before but he wasn't really listening, anxious to get back to Calleigh, and then after everything that happened once he did get back to her, the whole conversation is pretty much a blur anyway. He shouldn't be surprised though. With what they know from their jobs they should have seen it coming. The hospital would be doing it to cover their backsides and make sure they didn't miss anything.

Thoughts of her autopsy have him cringing. He knows it is necessary and she will be treated with care and respect, but it doesn't help, even though he sees it every day at work he still hasn't completely come to terms with the harsh finality of death. The fact that one moment a person is there, living, breathing, the next they are gone, an empty cold body all that is left. He knows Arianna is gone, he believes her soul, what made her Ari, has moved on to another, hopefully better place, but her body still means something to him, still represents the person she was. The thought of her all alone, rolled into a cold storage locker and soon to be cut into by a total stranger makes him shudder. It's not like he hasn't been through this before, what with Speed and Marisol, but it was different then. They were never truly alone. They were in the morgue at the lab, they were cared for by friends, family. The horror of their autopsies beared by Alexx. The thought of a complete stranger cutting into Ari's skin, separating her ribs, handling her body, her heart, seems like such an intrusion to him and he finds he can no longer stop the sobs that have been fighting to escape.

Calleigh feels Eric start to lose it next to her. She knows what he is thinking, picturing, the same things running through her own head. Nurse Rogers comes around the table to take Xavier but Calleigh sees Eric's hands tighten around the baby and she waves her off. He needs Xavier close right now, his last link to Ari. The nurse leaves the room, closing the door behind her without a word.

Calleigh pulls her chair so it is flush against Eric's, grateful they are the cheap plastic kind without arms. She wraps her arms around Eric and Xavier, pulling them towards her. Eric turns so his face is pressed into her neck, the baby in his arms resting against her chest. She runs one hand up and down his back, while the other one again rests at the base of his neck, her fingers caressing the curls there. It is the one spot she has found that always settles him, just the feel of her hand there soothes him instantly and as her fingers continue to move softly in his hair his entire body relaxes against her. She can still feel his tears falling hot against her neck, but they are slowing, the tighter she holds him, the more she caresses him, the lighter they come until they are nothing more than a glistening trail fading against his cheeks.

At the feel of her lips pressing to his temple he pulls back to look her in the eyes.

"I'm sorry Cal. All I seem to be doing lately is crying on your shoulder. I hate that you have to see me like this. I wish I could be stronger."

"Hush now. Don't you dare be ashamed of your tears. They are not a sign of weakness but of strength. They show how much you loved Arianna and how very much you are going to miss her. Don't ever feel you have to hide your tears from me, they do not make me think any less of you, but in fact they make me love you all the more."

She brings both her hands around to gently cup his face, her thumbs brushing the dried tears from his cheeks as she leans in to place a soft kiss on his lips. With one hand still firmly holding Xavier against himself and Calleigh he brings the other up to cover her left hand against his cheek. Her right hand goes back to its spot toying with the hair at the nape of his neck. He leans in so his forehead is resting against hers, his eyes closing as he accepts the comfort only Calleigh can give him.

"I love you so much Cal. I wouldn't be able to get through this without you."

"Right back at you babe" she responds pressing another light kiss to his mouth, feeling his lips turn up into a small smile against her own. They are so caught up in each other they don't hear the door open and then quickly close again when Nurse Rogers sees they are going to be ok. Fifteen minutes later Eric finally has the strength to pull away from Calleigh enough for them to rise and head out of the room. They search for the nurse, their progress slow as they are still wrapped around each other as much as possible. They find her coming out of another patient's room and Eric hands her the pamphlet from the first home, the family run one that caters for small, private funerals.

"That's the one we will go with. Anything else we need to do today?" he asks her.

"No. This is fine. I'll contact them now and let them know. I'll see when they want to meet with you to make the arrangements. Any particular preference?"

"Tomorrow if possible" Calleigh tells her before Eric even has a chance. "I need to go back to work Monday and I don't want Eric to have to do this alone. I know its Sunday tomorrow so if they can't do it see what else they can and I'll sort something out with work to be there."

Calleigh expects Eric to protest when she says she will leave work to go with him but he doesn't say a thing, merely squeezes her tighter against him, telling her without words that he is grateful she will be there, how much he will need her to be. She squeezes him back in response before they turn and head back to their room.

The rest of the afternoon passes pretty quickly. Nurse Rogers sticks her head in as she is leaving and tells them the funeral home will send someone to meet with them the following morning. Not long after another nurse comes in and together they give Xavier his first real bath. Very quickly they get caught up in the joy of the baby, his love of the water delighting Eric. Calleigh laughs at this and smears some of the bubbles on his cheek at the look in his eyes when they first place Xavier in the water and he kicks out his little legs furiously before quickly settling in and clearly enjoying being in the water.

"You are already figuring out when you can teach him to swim, aren't you" she teases.

"Actually I was thinking about the first time I'll take him diving" he replies, a cheeky grin on his face as he flicks some of the bubbles back at her.

The nurse watches them, smiling at their playful banter before she focuses them back on the task at hand, learning how to bath a wriggly little boy properly. It takes nearly an hour by the time the nurse is satisfied they both know what they are doing and she has run through all the different bath products and paraphernalia with them. She makes sure they are both confident diapering and dressing him before she leaves them with a promise to check in again tomorrow in case they have any further questions.

When the nurse leaves they settle back into their armchair, a clean and content Xavier in Calleigh's arms, both of them cradled against Eric. Not long after their dinner is bought in along with a bottle for Xavier. They feed the baby and settle him into his bassinet before they eat their own dinner together, another surprisingly enjoyable meal, this time pumpkin soup, a creamy pasta dish and some type of apple pudding for dessert, along with a soda each that they suspect a certain nurse may have left for them, no one else's dinner trays holding a soda.

After dinner they each have a quick shower in the tiny en-suite and change into fresh clothes, grateful they had thought to bring overnight bags. Finally they crash back into their armchair, Calleigh waiting for Eric to get comfortable before crawling up to snuggle in beside him. Their eyes are closed before they are even fully settled, their breathing evening out within seconds and both of them falling into a deep, and much needed sleep. Calleigh's hand rests against Eric's chest, settling above his heart and his own hand comes to rest over hers, their fingers lacing together, finding each other even in sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter Fourteen**

A nurse comes during the night at the sound of Xavier waking. She talks them into letting her take Xavier to the nursery for the night so that they can get a decent sleep, something that is clear to everyone they both desperately need. They are reluctant to let him go; neither of them wanting him to be out of their sight, but the nurse manages to convince them. They each press soft kisses to his hair before the nurse wheels him away and they once again settle in to each other, sleep coming easy with the knowledge Xavier will be well looked after by all the nurses, if the treatment they themselves are receiving is anything to go on.

They awake at sunrise, both well rested and ready to face the day which they know will be a difficult one, with both the meeting with the funeral home and breaking the news to Eric's parents. As Calleigh freshens up in the bathroom Eric calls a nurse to let her know they are up and ready for Xavier to come back. Just as Calleigh is coming out of the bathroom the little boy is wheeled into the room, still fast asleep. Eric quickly ducks in to take his turn freshening up, coming out just as Xavier starts to stir. A bottle is delivered without them even having to call for one and Xavier greedily sucks it all down, much to Eric's delight. Calleigh watches him feed the baby, a grin on her face at the laughter Xavier is drawing from Eric.

"Listen to him Cal, it's like he's never been fed" he laughs.

"Just like someone else I know when he's really hungry" she says as she walks over to press a kiss to the baby's head.

"Hey, where's mine?" he pouts as she starts to pull away. Smiling she leans back in to meet his lips, her hand coming to rest against his cheek. "Don't know who's the bigger baby" she teases as they break apart. "I'm going to head down and check in with H and Nat. I'll be back before our breakfast arrives" she tells him as she heads for the door.

"Sure. I'll head down quickly after breakfast. I can't believe I didn't see either of them yesterday and I was in the same building the entire time."

"Hey, you had other things on your mind. I saw H yesterday but that was at three in the morning so I didn't get to see Nat. I'm sure she and the rest of the team will have something to say about us being no shows. Maybe we should tell them about Xavier."

"No Cal. I'm not ready for that yet. I know they will find out, and it will have to be soon. I certainly can't expect them to cover me for the next few weeks without giving them an explanation. But I just can't do it today. Seeing the look on my parents face when they find out about him is going to be hard enough. Having to deal with the looks and questions from everyone else will be just too much."

She is back from the door and kneeling in front of him before he has finished speaking. Her hands are resting on his thighs rubbing small reassuring circles, her body settling between his knees, her green eyes searching his face.

"Oh Eric. I hate that they are going to think the worst of you when it should be the opposite. I understand why it has to be like this, I just wish they could all know what a truly wonderful thing you are doing here."

"No one can ever know Cal. You promised. No matter what happens, no matter what anyone says, you cannot tell a soul the truth."

"I swear Eric. I know what's at stake here, why no one but us can ever know, but it still kills me that it has to be that way. Yesterday, when I...I went for a walk" she stammers drawing a small chuckle from Eric at her words, "I ended up in Horatio's room. I needed to talk to someone, to tell them everything, get it all off my chest and he was the only person I could think of. I knew I could tell him everything, what I was feeling and thinking, and he wouldn't judge me."

"Baby" he says softly, one hand dropping the now empty bottle next to him before reaching for her, coming to rest against the back of her head, his fingers entwining in her hair. "I hate that it wasn't me that was there for you. Hate that you had to find someone else to talk to. That you had to go for a walk" he chuckles, a matching chuckle coming from Calleigh at his words, "and ended up talking it out with someone who could not answer, not help you through it. But you came back, so I guess it worked out in the end. I just wish I could have been the one to be there for you."

She rises up, stretching her body so her face is level with his. Her hands leave his thighs and come to cup his face before she places the sweetest of kisses on his lips. "It couldn't be you Eric. I needed to talk it out and I didn't want to hurt you. I thought I was gone for good Eric, didn't think I would have the strength to come back to you and Xavier, didn't think I was enough for you and I knew I needed to get out then and do what I thought was best, give you and Xavier a chance without me pulling you down. But if I had of tried to talk to you about it I knew I would have never been able to leave, even if I still thought it was what needed to be done."

"You are all we will ever need" he tells her, placing soft kisses against her lips with every word. He feels her grin against him before she settles once more between his knees, her hands taking up their position on his thighs.

"So I went to Horatio and I told him everything. Told him about Arianna and Xavier. Told him about you. And I told him about my fears. That I wasn't what you needed. I didn't realise Alexx had come back in the room and had heard everything." Feeling him tense she is quick to reassure him. "No, don't worry, not that. I promised to never tell a soul the truth and I didn't, but god I wanted to Eric. Alexx questioned me about Xavier's father and I told her that he was yours and you should have seen the look on her face. The pity when she looked at me. She felt sorry for me thinking you had done wrong by me, gotten another girl pregnant. Even though we weren't together when it would have happened, everyone is going to think you messed around on me. They know how much I love you, how much you mean to me and they are going to think you are the bad guy. I set Alexx straight and she seemed to accept it ok but I could still see she was disappointed in you. The others won't be quite so easy to mollify as Alexx was. I hate it Eric. They should be praising you for stepping up and doing the right thing but instead they are going to be judging you. And your parents Eric, they are going to be so disappointed in you. They are going to think you have not only done the wrong thing by me but also by Arianna. You deserve so much more than that."

"No, I don't. I did do the wrong thing Cal. I hurt you badly, betrayed your trust. It may have been well before all this and not in the way everyone is going to think, but I still did it. And I let Arianna down, I didn't protect her. So if I have to deal with a few dirty looks, have everyone disappointed in me, then I can handle that. If that is what it takes to keep Xavier safe, then it is a small price to pay. As long as you know the truth then I can handle whatever anyone else thinks and says about me." While talking his hand has come back to rest against her head, his fingers once again in her hair.

She squeezes his thighs and turns her head to place light kisses along the inside of his arm. "We'll handle it. When you decide to tell them all I'll be right next to you and God help any of them if they even mumble one bad thing about you. I'm their boss now remember, I can make their life hell. Something I may just remind them of before you tell them."

He grins at her and leans down for a kiss, Calleigh rising to meet him half way. He rests his forehead against hers, their noses brushing. "I don't deserve you you know" he tells her still grinning, "but God I am so glad you're on my side." She brushes another kiss against his lips before rising, pausing on the way to kiss the baby's head, still nestled in Eric's arm. She smiles at him over her shoulder as she heads out the door, a lump rising in her throat as she catches his whispered words to the baby as she pulls the door shut.

"Yes little man, I'm so glad she's on our side."

Calleigh heads for Horatio's room first and smiles at the sight of Kyle and Alexx flanking his bed, each fast asleep with their heads resting on the mattress, their hands firmly grasping one of his own. A nurse notices her in the door and comes to talk to her.

"Hey. You here to see Lieutenant Caine?"

"Yeah. I work with him at the lab. How's he doing? Normally Alexx fills me in but she's asleep at the moment."

"She finally crashed a couple of hours ago. She has been dozing on and off the last couple of days but not really sleeping and it has taken its toll. I was in there about twenty minutes ago and dropped a metal tray on the floor and not one of them stirred. Not that I expected Lieutenant Caine to, he still hasn't woken yet. When was the last time you saw him?"

"Very early yesterday morning" she replies, the guilt evident in her voice.

"Well since then nothing much has changed. His heart rate has stayed steady and his glucose has stabilised at an acceptable level. We'll keep him on the ventilator until he wakes up, which could be any time now. We were hoping he would have come around by now, but his body just isn't ready yet. It's just a waiting game at the moment."

"Thanks" she says as the nurse leaves before she heads in to him careful not to wake the others and brushes a kiss across his cheek.

"Hey H. Just checking in. Things are looking up since I saw you yesterday. I had a good old heart to heart with Alexx and she helped me see a few things. I went back to Eric and we had a talk. I'm gonna try to be there for him and Xavier. Still not sure how I'll manage but I don't want to walk away. I love Eric too much to leave him, and Xavier is great. I can't wait for you to meet him. You'll love him H. You just have to wake up now and I'll bring him to meet you. Just open your eyes and I'll have that little boy in here whether Eric is ready or not" she tells him, watching his face closely, not really expecting anything but praying anyway.

Sighing when there is not even the slightest change she leans back down until her lips are right at his ear. "I mean it H, you have to wake up soon. We all need you; you're the thing that keeps us all ticking. We aren't the same without you. The strongest part of our team is missing and we need you to hold us together. So you better wake up soon. I've got your back at the lab, but I don't want to be there for long. And there is a little boy upstairs that needs an uncle to look out for him, so just wake up H. Come back to us soon."

Brushing another gentle kiss against his cheek she heads back out of the room, casting glances over her shoulder at him as she goes. She takes a minute to compose herself before heading for Natalia's room, hearing everyone there long before she sees the door.

"What's going on in here" she bellows in her strictest voice as she enters, watching with a laugh as every person in the room jump and look up at her guiltily before their faces break into matching grins when they realise it is her and not a nurse coming to tell them off.

"We just got a bit carried away" Ryan explains quickly, his hand indicating the mess around them. "Walter bought in croissants for breakfast and there was one left. Nat decided that a paper aeroplane competition was the only way to determine who got it, and well... none of us is really any good at paper aeroplanes" he finishes.

Calleigh grins at the numerous mangled wrecks that litter the room, every surface covered with scraps of paper, half folded attempts and crashed planes.

"Well you're in luck then. You just so happen to be looking at the paper aeroplane champion of Louisiana" she chuckles as she heads for the table, brushing their poor excuses for aeroplanes onto the floor to join the other mess there before making a great show of selecting the perfect piece of paper and folding it just so, her every move greatly exaggerated. They watch her intently, most with a smile on their faces, thinking she is pulling their leg. But when she is done and she shows off a sleek looking plane, perfectly folded and every line painfully straight they stare at her in awe, broken only by Walter's dry words as her plane whizzes triumphantly around the room, "Well it looks like none of us is getting that croissant" he mutters to the others.

They all laugh at his words before Ryan begs Calleigh to show him how to make one and is quickly joined by the others. Munching on the pastry she shows them how to do it, nearly banishing Ryan as he crushes his tenth attempt into a ball, this one no good because the wings are not perfectly even. Frank laughs at the frustration on Calleigh's face, pulling Ryan away before she hurts him, "We never really worried about losing the croissant to Wolfe" he tells her, "it took him ten minutes just to get a piece of paper that had four straight edges." The entire room erupts into laughter, only getting louder at the look on Ryan's face.

Rising from her place perched on the edge of Natalia's bed she heads for the door. "I better head out guys, I've been longer than I meant too."

"What do you mean? Got somewhere better to be?" Natalia teases. "Wouldn't have something to do with a missing Cuban would it? You two were MIA all day yesterday and now your rushing out again and he hasn't even shown his face. What's going on?"

Calleigh feels her face start to blush, the heat rising in her cheeks at what Natalia is implying. "No, it's nothing like that."

"Yeah, yeah" they all tease her.

"No really. Eric had a bit of an emergency and I've been helping him out with it. We didn't mean to ignore you guys we just got caught up. He's going to come and visit you in a bit."

"What emergency. Is he ok?" Natalia asks with worry.

"Well, um..it's not really my place to say. He's ok. He has some stuff to deal with but he's fine. I promise. Please, when he comes to see you don't ask him about it. He's not ready to talk yet. He'll tell you soon, but please just let him be for now."

"Yeah sure" they all agree, the concern evident in their voices.

"Thanks guys. Don't tell him I told you to cut him some slack, but please, just go easy on him." She tells them. She gives them each a hug before she leaves the room and heads back to Eric.

She finds him in the same place she left him, his eyes trained on the door. She sees the relief on his face when she enters even though he tries to hide it quickly and she realises he has spent the whole time worrying she may not come back. She heads straight for him, stopping at his side, reaching for him, pulling him against her as she presses kisses to the top of his head, his face resting against her stomach.

"Hey babe. Sorry I was gone longer than I meant to be. I got caught up teaching the guys how to make paper aeroplanes. They were having a competition to see who could make the best one, the winner getting a croissant. I had to show them how it was done, their attempts were pathetic. Was a very nice croissant I must say." Her story draws a laugh from him.

"Who would have thought, my bullet girl is a paper aeroplane champ. You'll have to teach Xavier when he is older. He'll be the hit of Kindergarten."

She smiles, feeling the tension slowly eases out of him as he breathes her in.

"Sorry if I had you worried."

"Nah, you didn't" he lies. She looks down at him, contemplating whether to call him on it but decides she'll let it go; he is entitled to his worry based on what she has put him through.

"I love you you know" she whispers instead and is rewarded when he finally pulls his face away from her stomach and raises it up to meet her eyes, his own love shining so clearly.

"Right back at you" he grins.

Breakfast comes and he places Xavier back into his bassinet while they eat. When they have finished he heads out to see Horatio and Natalia and just like they promised no one gives him a hard time. He suspects Calleigh has asked them not to as Wolfe would never miss an opportunity to mess with him but he doesn't so much as even ask where Eric has been. Normally it would bother him but he is grateful Calleigh has done it, thankful that he doesn't have to lie to his friends. He stays long enough to build his own plane, nowhere near as good as Calleigh's but still better than any of their attempts. He is rewarded with a chocolate from a stash in Natalia's bedside, taking it with a laugh at the pout on Wolf's face when Nat slaps his hand as he reaches for one himself.

He leaves them not long after, heading to Horatio's room where he finds Alexx and Kyle still fast asleep. He sits there for awhile, telling Horatio about Xavier. As he rises he leans in and quietly thanks Horatio for being there for Calleigh before urging him to wake up as soon as possible. He brushes a kiss to Alexx's cheek and feels her stir but she doesn't wake. On the way out he meets up with a nurse and asks her to let Alexx know both he and Calleigh have been by and they will both try to get back later in the day.

He heads back to Calleigh, walking in on her fussing around the room, tidying up the small mess they have made over the last couple of days. He helps her finish up before a nurse comes to get them for their meeting with the funeral home. He picks Xavier up, again cradling him against his chest. The warmth of the little boy along with Calleigh's hand grasped in his own the only things he needs to get through the meeting.

It is not as bad as he thought it would be. They enter the break room and are greeted by a short thin man of about fifty and a larger, very friendly looking woman who is introduced as his wife. They instantly feel at ease with the couple and Eric finds he is soon telling them a story of a teenage Arianna he had to rescue from the top of a tree she had climbed up to throw water balloons at Marco from, but had become stuck in when she knocked the ladder over as she went to get down. He is surprised by the chuckle that escapes him at the story and starts to feel slightly guilty over it. He doesn't have time to dwell on it though as the couple easily guide the conversation away and instead tell him of a similar incident with their teenage sons, though instead of a tree it was the roof of their house and their son younger was left their by his brother who thought three hours on the hot roof was great payback.

In between the stories the couple tell they manage to get all the information they need out of Eric without him really noticing. As they stand to leave, shaking hands across the table, he realises they have basically planned the service and burial, even down to Arianna being buried alongside Marco and their parents, and he has not so much as shed a tear or choked up once. They all leave the break room together and the couple leave them at the door to their room after making a time on Tuesday to meet with him for the finishing touches. He will have to have the eulogy ready for then, something he is not looking forward to, but they assure him they will help him word it right if he can just jot down anything that comes to mind. The funeral is tentatively set for the following Thursday, he will confirm it with them that afternoon once he has spoken with his family.

Heading back into their room he waits just inside the door for Calleigh who has stopped to say once last goodbye to the couple. As she enters the room she sees him waiting and knows instantly what he wants, walking straight to him and wrapping him and Xavier in a firm hug. They stand there for the longest time, Calleigh resting her head against his chest, her cheek lightly pressing on the baby while her hands roam his back, finding their way beneath his shirt, needing to feel his warm skin against her palms. He rests his own cheek against the top of her head, breathing in the sweet scent of her shampoo, bringing the hand not supporting the baby to settle at the small of her back. The door is still open and they receive many curious glances from nurses and visitors alike as they pass their room, most stopping briefly to smile at the sight of them so caught up in each other and the baby between them.

Just before their lunch comes Eric bites the bullet and calls his parents. After assuring them he is fine and not hurt he asks them to come meet him. Hanging up he looks at Calleigh and she can see the guilt in his eyes.

"What's up?" she asks.

"Apparently they have been really worried about me..us. They heard about the CSIs getting hurt and they have been trying to call me but I have ignored all their calls Cal because I didn't want to talk to them. They have been out of their mind with worry especially since they heard there were two injured, a lady and a man, and they thought it might have been us, they knew you would call them if it was me but they thought it was both of us. Finally Papi had the sense to ring the lab yesterday and they were told it wasn't either of us, but they were still so worried. I can't believe I didn't think to call them and let them know we were fine."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up. It's not like you've been out partying or anything Eric. Sure they were worried and it's bad they had to, but I bet they were more relieved when they heard you were ok and they'll get over it quick."

"Yeah. You're probably right. She'll still bend my ear when she comes in here though. They're going to call when they get to the parking lot. I think I'll go meet them in the lobby rather than tell them to come to the maternity ward. Might just give them heart attacks if I do that to them" he chuckles.

"Good thinking" she smiles. "Before they get here I think I might just call my parents and let them know I'm ok, just in case."

Taking her phone she heads over to the window and makes two very quick calls. He watches as her shoulders slump further with each one and walks over to wrap her in a hug from behind. As she hangs up from her second call she throws the phone into the closest armchair before bringing her own arms to rest against his. He can feel her shaking slightly and knows she is trying not to cry so he doesn't say anything, just holds her tighter and presses kisses to her hair.

After a few minutes she trusts herself to talk. "Didn't get my father. It's a Sunday so he can't be in court. Probably just busy. Maybe he hasn't heard. Left a voicemail telling him I was fine just in case he is worried. Got my mom though. She didn't seem too bothered. Told me someone would have called her by now if it had of been me so she assumed I was alright. Said she only made the connection yesterday that a Miami-Dade CSI could have been me."

He doesn't say anything, there are not really any words that could make her feel better. Instead he turns her in his arms so that she is facing him and draws her as tight to his body as he can. He feels her shuddering against him and knows she is still fighting the tears threatening to fall and his heart breaks for her. He can not image what it must be like to know your mother doesn't even care enough to worry when there is a chance you may be gravely injured, or what it is like to have a father you can't rely on to be there for you when you may need him. He has been blessed with a family that has always been there for him, even when he wished they would disappear and give him some space. There are days he would give anything to be left alone but he knows, especially now, standing there holding Calleigh in his arms as she fights not to fall apart, that he would not trade what he has for anything in the world. It is about time Calleigh had that to and as he rubs her back and presses kisses to her hair he vows to give her the family she deserves.


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter Fifteen**

The knock on the door as a man enters carrying their lunch breaks them apart. Calleigh swipes at his chest where a small wet patch has formed from the few tears she was unable to contain, her eyes still brimming with the many more still unshed. Eric turns to shield her from the man's view, knowing she would not want anyone to see her that way. He feels her walk away from him and watches out of the corner of his eye as she goes to stand against the window, rubbing her hands furiously across her face as if to erase all her emotions before resting her forehead against the glass, taking deep breaths in order to compose herself.

The man doesn't even look twice at them as he puts their lunch on the table. He works in a hospital; he's seen it all before and more. Eric offers him a nod in thanks before walking over and closing the door behind him. He busies himself setting out their lunch, giving Calleigh the space she is usually so desperate for, so he is more than surprised when he feels her step up behind him and wrap herself around him, pulling his back tight against her chest. He feels her face pressed between his shoulder blades and the light kisses she is placing there. He tries to unwrap her arms and turn around but she holds firm and doesn't let him. So instead he grasps her hands with his own, lacing his fingers through hers as he slowly wriggles them up until he is able to press kisses into her palms. When she finally speaks her voice is muffled against his back so he has to strain to hear what she says.

"I'm sorry Eric. Here I am falling apart on you again."

"No babe, don't be sorry. Don't ever feel like you have to hide things from me. We're in this together. I'm here for you. I'll always be here for you."

"I know you are. I love that you are, that you don't judge me for my tears. I know that if I fall you'll be there to catch me. But it's hard Eric. No don't. I can't do this if I have to see your face." She tells him as he again attempts to turn in her arms. "I've never had someone willing to be there for me always. Growing up I was an afterthought, if I was thought of at all. I learnt to look after myself, not to depend on anyone. I got through my whole life like that and I was going perfectly fine. Until you showed up. You have been my best friend for years and I have known basically since the beginning that you would be there for me if I needed you, but I didn't want to need you. I didn't want to let myself rely on someone because then I would be opening myself up to getting hurt. But then you were shot and I realised that I already needed you. I thought I had lost you that day and I didn't know how I was going to go on without you. I was pretty sure you felt the same way about me, but still I couldn't tell you. I was scared you would reject me or hurt me just like everyone else has, but then I was in that fire and you were there for me and the things you said to me made me realise you were not going to leave me. And so you and I became us. And we've had our problems. You have hid things from me that you never should have...ahh ahh let me finish" she demands as he tries to interrupt "but I know why you did it, why you kept those things from me. I don't like that you did it and I don't ever want you to keep anything from me again. It hurt me so much at the time and it has taken me a long time to get past it but I know that you thought it was the best way, that you were protecting me, you were thinking of me at the time even if you went about it the wrong way. And I've made just as many, if not more mistakes. I have not been completely open with you, still holding part of myself back, still trying to protect myself by not giving you the last piece of me. But I want to give you all of me Eric. I'm still scared. Still worried I am not everything you and Xavier will need. Still worried I am going to mess this all up somehow. But, God, I want this to work out so much. You are my family Eric. Those phone calls just now, made me realise that more than ever. If that was me lying in a bed downstairs instead of H or Nat, I know it would be you by my side. You hounding the doctors and stirring up the nurses making sure I was getting the best care. You I would be waking up to. And there is no one else I would ever want. It's always been you Eric, and I always want it to be you."

He is stunned. There is no other word for it. Calleigh has been opening up more and more but he is still so surprised when she reveals more of herself to him. When they were together before she was just getting to the place where he thought she was ready to open up to him completely and he went and stuffed it all up. Worried that the mess with Sharova and then the State Attorney would cause her to pull away he tried to shield her from it all when in fact it was those actions that ended up driving her away. But he has worked at it this year, and the last few weeks, since that night by the beach, she has been talking to him more, sharing herself with him like never before. And these last few days, while horrific, have also been wonderful in the fact that they have finally bought his Calleigh back to him. He presses one last light kiss to her palms before squeezing them tight as he starts to talk.

"I love you Cal and while I am sorry you had to grow up that way, it has made you who you are today, the person I love with all my heart. You are the strongest person I know and I love you for your strength, but I love you for your tears too. I especially love that you are letting me share them with you. I will never judge you and the more you let down your barriers and let me in, the more I love you. I want it to be me there for you always baby. It will be me, I promise."

As he talks he feels her arms slowly relaxing in his hold, her body loosening up behind him and finally he is able to turn himself so he can face her. Her arms stay looped around him, coming to rest against his back and her face presses into his chest, her warm breath felt on his skin straight through his shirt.

"No matter what happens baby" he tells her pressing kisses to her hair, "no matter what, I will always be here for you. Even if, God forbid, something goes wrong and we don't make it through as us, I will still be here for you, nothing you could ever say or do would change that. I love you with all my heart, and I always will, whether you are by my side, which I pray to God you always will be, or not." She raises her face to his, her eyes still brimming with unshed tears and gives him the sweetest of kisses. She is unable to answer him but he feels her response in her kiss, the way her arms wrap tighter around him and the way she presses herself against him completely as if daring someone or something to separate them.

llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll llllllllllllllllllllllllllll lllllllll

They are just finishing up their lunch when his phone rings, alerting them to the fact his parents have arrived. She laughs at the sheer look of panic that crosses his face.

"Come on, it's not going to be that bad. Sure they are going to be shocked but the second they meet Xavier they will be goners" she tells him as she reaches over to squeeze his hand. Taking a deep breath he gives her a shaky smile before answering the phone, telling his parents to wait downstairs, he will come and get them. They are puzzled but agree, they have long since given up trying to understand their youngest child.

"How are you going to do this?" she asks as he stands to leave the room.

"I figured I would bring them up here and introduce them to Xavier first, then tell them about Ari. It's going to be hard for them to learn she has gone, at least this way they'll have him in their arms when they do. Don't know, might offer some small comfort."

She reaches for him, squeezing his hands he has fisted at his sides. He relaxes them and turns them so their fingers lace together before he bends down and gives her a kiss.

"I'll be back soon."

"I'll be waiting"

He gives her one last kiss, lingering against her lips, trying to find the strength to go face his parents. She smiles against him, knowing what he is doing and that he would stay there all day if he could get away with it. Squeezing his hands again she quickly pulls back, pushing him away from her and towards the door.

"Go on, go get them. If you make them wait any longer they will just come find you and then you'll be in even more trouble."

"Maybe they won't find me. Come on, you have to admit this is probably the last place they would look."

"Don't be such a baby" she teases rising from her chair to push him out the door. "Hurry now and then you'll be back before Xavier wakes for his feed" she tells him hearing the baby starting to stir. "I'm sure your mom would love to give it to him."

"Yeah, I'm sure your right" he replies before reluctantly turning from her and heading off slowly, dragging his feet the entire length of the hallway. Chuckling softly to herself she turns back to the baby, placing a hand on his chest and patting him gently to settle him once more, buying Eric a little more time.

Eric makes his way down to his parents, taking twice as long as the trip should do. He finds them waiting anxiously just inside the main doors, the relief on his mother's face when she sees him standing before her makes him flinch.

"Oh Eric" she cries as she rushes for him, wrapping him in a tight hug, "I know you said you were ok, but I was still so worried."

He realises she is crying and wraps his arms around her tighter.

"Hush Mamá. I am so sorry. I just never thought. So much has gone on these last few days. I am so sorry I put you through this."

He places a kiss to her cheek before looking up at the sound of a throat clearing. His father is standing to the side, discreetly wiping at his own eyes. Eric reaches for him with the one arm he manages to withdraw from his mother, pulling the older man to his side in an awkward embrace.

"I'm sorry Papá. I don't know what you must have gone through, what you must have thought."

"It's alright son. We are just so glad you are ok. But we would like to know what this is all about. Tell us, why have you bought us here? What has gone on the last few days?"

"Well...come upstairs with me. There is a lot I need to tell you and this isn't really the place."

They both pull back enough to study their son's face, trying to read what he is clearly hesitant to tell them. Realising they are not going to get anything from him at the moment they both nod silently, falling in to step beside him as he turns to the elevators. His mother tries to question him as they wait and then on the ride up, but he stays stubbornly silent. As the doors open for them to exit he pulls his mother by the hand she is still painfully grasping, his father following close behind.

"Come on, there's someone I want you to meet."

He leads them to the room, grateful his mother is so preoccupied she doesn't seem to notice what ward they are on, his father not mentioning anything if he does. He pushes open the door and stands back to let them walk in ahead. He hears his mother's gasp and figures she has seen the baby but instead, as he enters after his father, he finds his mother has rushed straight to Calleigh and is crushing her in a tight hug.

"Oh Calleigh, you really are ok. We were so worried. When we finally spoke to Eric this morning he assured us you were but I thought he might be lying to us for some reason. I don't understand why he has been out of contact for so long and I know the only thing that would make him forget the rest of the world like that is you. I was so worried it was you that was hurt. I have been praying all morning that I was wrong."

"Well Ma, you're only half wrong" Eric tells her, stepping closer to them, reaching out to place a hand against Calleigh's back. "Calleigh is the only thing in the world that could make me forget everything and everyone else."

Eric's mother chuckles at the light blush that graces Calleigh's face at Eric's words and squeezes her tighter with affection.

"I'm sorry Mrs Delko" Calleigh starts to say, only to be cut off by the older woman.

"I've told you this before, it's Carmen. At least until the time you are comfortable calling me mamá" she laughs as Calleigh blushes even more.

"Well..yeah..um..sorry Carmen. We just got so caught up and everything outside of this room was pushed aside. You have to know though, that if anything did happen to Eric I would make sure you knew as soon as possible."

"I know dear. We were just so worried it was both of you. But thankfully you are both ok" she replies pulling away.

Calleigh turns to smile at Eric still standing with his hand at her back only to be pulled into a fierce hug by Eric's father. She returns the hug after only a moment's hesitation, the older man's soft words whispered into her ear warming her heart and bringing tears to her eyes.

"We are both so happy you are safe mi hija."

As he pulls away he wipes at his eyes in embarrassment before he turns to his son. "Now tell us Eric, not that we aren't so very pleased to see you both, but why have you brought us down here."

"Ah...well.."he stumbles, suddenly tongue tied and at a complete loss as to what to say.

"Could it have anything to do with the fact you have bought us up to the maternity ward" he asks. Eric should have known his father wouldn't miss a thing.

"Well, yes" he replies. His mother gasps, her eyes quickly searching her surroundings, coming to rest on the small bassinet mostly hidden by the large armchairs on the other side of the room. Eric follows her eyes and sees the bassinet, realising Calleigh must have placed it there purposely so it would not be the first thing they saw when they entered the room. He smiles at her in thanks and she reaches out and grabs his hand, grasping it firmly, giving him the strength to continue.

"You know that person I wanted you to meet, well" he says, reluctantly pulling away from Calleigh to walk over to Xavier. "This is Xavier" he tells them as he picks the baby up. "My son. Xavier Pavel Delko." He looks up and sees his father's eyes shining at the name. His mother's face softens as she comprehends what he is telling them. But as she turns back to look at her son and the woman who has again come to stand next to him, her face clouds in confusion.

"Oh Eric, what have you done?" she asks.

"Well Ma, you think after four kids you would know but..."he teases, trying to delay the rest of his story.

"Alright mister wise guy. Just remember, you are never too old for a slap" she threatens.

"Sorry Ma" he replies, pretending to hang his head in shame.

"I'm not stupid Eric, and like you said I have had four children. I know I haven't seen Calleigh in awhile so it could be possible, but looking at her now there is no way that she has just had a baby. So where did this little one come from?"

"Well. It's a bit of a long story but his mother is Arianna. I didn't know she was pregnant. She had him on Thursday night and then I found out just after he was born. We have been here ever since."

"Arianna? I don't understand. You had a baby with her? What about Calleigh? And you just found out? Why didn't Ari tell you she was pregnant?"

"Uh, well, there's a bit of a story to that to. You know how I told you Calleigh and I were going through a bit of a rough patch and were cooling it a bit. Well the truth is we had broken up completely. When I was working with the State Attorneys' Office I was investigating the lab as there had been some suspicious activity, missing evidence and things like that, and I hid it all from her, lied to her even. I thought I was doing the right thing, not telling her, trying to protect her by doing it myself instead of letting someone else in. But in reality I made it worse..."

"Eric. You don't have to tell them all this. It wasn't all your fault. We were both to blame." Calleigh tells him quietly, leaning into him and resting her hand against his back, pressing a soft kiss to the baby's dark curls.

"No Cal, they have to know everything if they are to understand why we are here today" he tells her. Calleigh looks as if she wants to say more but as his eyes meet hers, pleading with her to let him do it this way she stays silent. Sighing she gives him a small nod, hating that he is taking all the blame but understanding that it needs to be done in order for this all to workout. What she doesn't understand is that in Eric's eyes, the story is not much of a lie at all. Sure Calleigh had her problems but he still blames himself completely for the way their relationship played out, and what he is about to tell his parents could have so easily been the truth the way he acted the night he ran into Arianna at the club. It is only but the grace of God that it wasn't some bimbo he ended up taking home, otherwise the only difference between the story he is about to tell and the actual truth would be that Calleigh wouldn't be standing by his side right now, looking at him with such love, giving him the strength to get through this. Taking a deep breath he continues.

"I broke Calleigh's trust, something I had just earned back from her after everything that happened with Sharova" he pauses momentarily at the matching looks of pain that cross his parent's faces before carrying on. "She had given me a second chance and I had blown it. I thought I had lost her completely, that there would be no third chance. So I did something stupid. I went to a club and got very, very drunk. I wanted to drown it all out, make myself forget everything I had lost. And when I was there I ran into Arianna. She was going through some stuff as well and we both just kind of fell into each other. She only stayed the one night; I was so drunk I don't really remember much. The next day she headed out to Orlando. I was so ashamed she had seen me like that and the way I acted, I didn't really try to contact her or anything. I thought I would leave her be for awhile and let things settle then try to reconnect with her. I never knew she was pregnant, if I had I never would have let her go."

Calleigh realises he has not actually lied to his parents at all. He has just given them half truths and let them draw their own conclusions. The presence of the baby in his arms clearly leading them to believe what they need them too. Even though she knew it was coming, the look of disappointment that crosses both his parents faces pulls at her heart and she finds herself fighting not to blurt it all out. It is only Eric's hand coming to grasp her own, squeezing tightly, that allows her to hold it all in. She looks up to him and sees him staring resolutely in to her eyes, refusing to look at his parents and see the reproach he knows she has seen there.

To say that Carmen and Pavel are shocked would be an understatement. It's not as if they didn't know something like this could happen, they are not naive; they know their son is no angel. Frankly they should be surprised it hasn't happened long before now. But he has been so settled the last couple of years, something they know that they owe to the woman currently standing beside him. They knew there had been something not right between the two this last year, the complete absence of Calleigh from their lives, even with all his excuses and explanations, not going unnoticed. They were inseparable for awhile there and when everything happened with Sharova and Eric was left fighting for his life Calleigh was by his side the entire time, refusing to leave his bedside until they knew for certain he would make it. When he recovered and then left his job at the lab and went away to Puerto Rico they knew things weren't right between him and Calleigh, but he was back for not even a week when everything seemed to fall back into place, before the year was up they were practically living together, Calleigh was certainly by his side whenever they saw him. And then this last year, things have been different. They haven't seen Calleigh once and at first Eric was so quiet and subdued. They never questioned him on his clearly false explanations for her absence, knowing he would talk to them when he was ready as he usually did. Then about nine months ago he changed. Calleigh was still absent from their lives and he deftly avoided talking about it, but he was more upbeat, like he had a mission. And these last few weeks he has been the old Eric again. Happy and warm, talking about nothing but Calleigh again, it was music to their ears.

So now, to hear Eric tell them he has a son like this, and to Arianna of all women, leaves them stunned. They simply stand and stare at him, both completely lost for words. They cannot believe he has done this, and to Calleigh of all people, the person he has told them on more than one occasion he loves with all his heart. Their eyes travel back and forth from Eric and Calleigh, their anger and disappointment showing when they look at Eric, their pity when they look at Calleigh. They notice the pair refuse to look at them, instead they continue to hold each other's gaze, a silent conversation carried out between the two.

The awkward silence in the room is finally broken when Xavier lets out a loud protest. He is overdue his feed and is clearly not waiting any longer. The relief on both Eric and Calleigh's faces is almost comical as they look down at the noisy, wriggling baby, and it is that which finally breaks Carmen and Pavel out of their stupor.

Instinctively Carmen reaches for the baby and Eric hands him over willingly. He heads to the door to get a bottle, pulling Calleigh along with him, refusing to relinquish his hold on her hand. She willingly follows him, grateful to be stepping away from the older pair. When they step outside the room she stops him with a squeeze to his hand and as he turns to her she wraps her free arm around him, pulling him to her in a tight embrace, resting her head against his shoulder and placing a light kiss to the pulse point on his neck. She feels him slowly relax against her, his arm coming around her back to hold her, his head leaning to rest against her hair.

When she is certain most of the tension has left his body she pulls away slightly so she can look up into his eyes.

"I love you, you know."

"Yeah. I know. Thanks for being with me in there. Standing beside me."

"There is nowhere else I would be."

"I love you, you know"

"Yeah, I know" she smiles, leaning up to place a kiss to his lips. "Come on, we better get this bottle. Your son is getting ready to scream the place down in there."

And just like that she reminds him what this is all about, why he has had to go through that. It's all about Xavier, his son, and keeping him safe. If he had to go through that every day, have his parents look at him like that forever, he would, as long as it meant Xavier would be safe, and as long as Calleigh was by his side holding him up through it all. He smiles at her as they walk to the break room, squeezing her hand in thanks, chuckling softly as she bumps her hip against his in response.

When they return to their room they pause briefly at the door, Calleigh squeezing his hand in reassurance before they enter. He expects his parents to still be upset with him, but what greets them as they enter is completely unexpected. Eric's father is sitting in one of the armchairs holding the baby, softly singing an old Spanish lullaby Eric vaguely remembers from his childhood. There is a huge grin on his lips and his tears are falling unabashedly down his face. But it is his mother that really surprises him. As he walks through the door she throws herself at him, wrapping him in a fierce hug, her own tears streaming down her face. He steps back from the force of her, his hand ripping from Calleigh's as he wraps his arms around his mother to steady her.

"Oh Eric. He is so beautiful. He looks just like you. And we're sorry about the way we acted. We were just so shocked. Sure this is not the way we imagined you would give us a grandchild, and we are not particularly proud of your behaviour that has led us here, but we have watched the way Calleigh has stood by you just now, and if she can clearly forgive you and stand beside you, accept Xavier and love you both, then who are we to judge you."

"Thankyou mamá, that means so much to me."

"Oh, don't thank me. I was still ready to throttle you. It was your father that made me see. Speaking of which, Pavel, are you finished hogging our grandson. I barely had him a minute before you wormed him out of my arms. And look, Eric has given me the bottle" she says, snatching it out of his hands, a twinkle in her eyes as she winks at her son, "and that little one is clearly ready for it" she laughs as Xavier's protests get louder as if he can understand his abuelo is keeping him from his bottle.

Calleigh comes back to his side again and grasps his hand. He turns to her with a smile, still a little shocked at the complete turn in events. She leans in to his side, whispering to him so only he can hear.

"Wow. I didn't expect that. I told you that once they held Xavier it would get better, I just didn't realise it would be so instantaneous."

"It's all you babe. If you weren't here helping me through this, I can guarantee they would still be mad at me. Also, they may seem to be over it for now, but I know ma, she'll bring it up again at another time, make sure I know how disappointed they are, even though they clearly love the grandson they are getting out of it" he adds with a chuckle, his eyes falling on the older couple still squabbling over the baby. Carmen has won for now, the child in her arms greedily sucking on his bottle, but Pavel is hovering over her, ready to steal the baby back at his first chance.

While his parents continue to fuss over the baby, Calleigh and Eric sit quietly in the corner, their legs tangled together stretched out on the floor in front of them, their hands never parting. More than once his parents look up at them, smiling at the sight of them together again and clearly so happy being with each other. After awhile, the baby is once again fed and changed and happily sleeping in his abuela's arms. Pavel manages to steal Xavier from his wife and it is then that Carmen starts to question Eric once more.

"What I don't understand Eric, is why Arianna never told you she was pregnant. I mean, I don't know exactly what went on between the two of you, but you were always so close, she could get anything out of you, and you her, so why did she not come to you when she found out about Xavier?"

"Ahh..well...that's probably mainly my fault. You see, when we woke that morning, it was a bit awkward to say the least. I felt sick, horrified with myself over what had happened, but she was Ari, and as you said, she could get anything out of me. She was joking and messing around and before long I had spilled it all out to her, about losing Calleigh and everything I had done to her. She was understanding and sympathetic and just..well...Ari. After awhile it was just like old times, we were messing and playing around, we went to the beach and watched movies and we just chatted and caught up all day. Looking back I spent most of the day talking about Calleigh and what she means to me and it was Ari that made me see that if I couldn't live without Calleigh then I needed to man up and show her she could trust me again and win her back. She headed off that night happy and laughing and if she hadn't of been pregnant I think she would have been hanging around a lot again, like the old times. But that's not what happened. She was pregnant and she felt she couldn't turn to me, something I will never forgive myself for. When I got the call on Thursday to come here I was so shocked. I felt absolutely terrible she had not been able to turn to me. When I asked her about it she said it was because I was so broken that day, thinking I had lost Calleigh forever and then I was so determined to work towards getting her back, she didn't want to step in and do anything that may ruin that. She didn't want to put any pressure on me after everything I had done for her over her life..." he trails of, his voice breaking in despair. Calleigh leans further into him, burying into his side, untangling one of her hands from his own to reach up and pull his head down to hers. He rests his forehead against hers, calming at the feeling of her fingers stroking the hair on the back of his neck. His parent's don't say a thing, simply sit there in silence and watch the two. They realise there is nothing they can do for him at the moment, everything he needs is currently right there with him, wrapped around him and comforting him as only she can.

When it appears that he has calmed down, his mother softly speaks, the emotion evident in her voice at seeing her own baby in despair.

"Eric, mi hijo, did you tell her not to contact you?"

Confused he looks up. "Of course not."

"Did you tell her you didn't want her around. That you had other things to worry about. Did you tell her to leave you alone?"

"Never."

"Then you need to stop blaming yourself. Arianna knows you will always be there for her. She knows that no matter what, you would drop everything and help her in a heartbeat. Even though it would have been uncomfortable for you, I know you would have pushed it all aside and been there for her the second she told you. I suspect there was probably more at play here, and you are putting all the blame on yourself when Arianna should carry some of it. She knows she will always be able to turn to you, to any of us, and we will do anything in our power to help her, be there for her. I think she was probably embarrassed that things had worked out the way they had, pregnant to her best friend who is clearly in love with someone else, and while she may not have wanted to mess that up for you, she must know that ultimately not telling you about your own child would hurt you more." She stops talking at the look on her son's face. The pain she sees there is more than just that expected in the situation. And she doesn't miss the way his body has tensed, his eyes closed and his head once again resting against Calleigh's. Nor does she miss the way Calleigh's fingers have stilled against his neck, the way her other hand has tightened around his.

"There is something more going on here isn't there Eric. What else aren't you telling us?"

There is nothing but silence. Calleigh doesn't speak, this is Eric's story to tell, but Eric can't bring himself to say a thing. The soft words of his father finally break the silence.

"Eric. Son. Where is Arianna?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter Sixteen**

Eric squeezes his eyes shut tighter, trying to block them out, hoping they will disappear and he won't have to do this. He doesn't want to be the one to tell them. They have already lost one daughter, and Arianna, while not blood, has never been any less than that in their eyes. It is Calleigh's warm breath on his cheek as she brushes her lips against him that draws him out of his distress. He opens his eyes to see her own green ones staring intently back at him, her hand slips around from his neck to cup his jaw, her thumb softly strokes his cheek. He takes a deep breath, inhaling her scent, drawing comfort from her.

Calleigh can feel him starting to slip away again and knows she has to do anything she can to help him get through this. She wishes she could take his pain away; it's not fair he has to go through so much, he has never done anything to deserve all that has been thrown at him in his life, let alone the past three days. She feels him take a deep breath, his chest pushing against her as he inhales. She leans in and places a gentle kiss on his lips, her eyes never leaving his. Her thumb continues to stroke his cheek as she burrows further into his body as if to draw his pain out into herself.

It is Calleigh's determination to try and take his pain away that gives him the strength to finally answer his parents, knowing that she would do anything she could to make this easier on him, even if it is just sitting on a cold hard hospital floor, holding him like she will never let go. His long silence has found his mother walk over to his father and press herself against his side, the fear in her eyes at what has got her son so distraught mirrored in his father's face. So, surrounded by Calleigh, eyes never wavering from her gaze, he answers them with one simple word, spoken in a shuddering whisper that tells them more than the word itself ever could.

"Gone"

He hears his mother's sharp intake of breath followed by her low sorrowful moan as she fully understands what he has said. His father's shocked gasp is followed by a barrage of questions but he finds himself once again unable to answer. Instead he continues to stare into Calleigh's eyes, pleading with her to help him. She understands immediately, her eyes brimming as she moves her hand to the back of his head, pulling him down so his face is pressed to her neck, trying to shield him from the words she knows he is not strong enough to hear again, let alone speak. So it is Calleigh that ends up explaining it all to his parents. Telling them of the time spent sitting by Arianna's bedside, her hopes and dreams for her son, their promises to always love and protect him and then finally of her death. Eric feels guilty he does not have the courage to do it himself; thankful once again that Calleigh is so strong.

When she first starts speaking Calleigh fells Eric begin to shudder against her as he fights to contain his sobs, so she gently pries her hand free from his own and wraps her arm around him, drawing him as close to her body as possible. Her other hand stays at the back of his head, pressing him against her neck, her fingers rubbing soothing circles in his hair. His own arms wrap around her waist and he clings to her for all he is worth, willing himself not to lose control completely again. The entire time she speaks to his parents she continues to hold him and he focuses solely on her. He does not hear his mother's heartbroken wailing nor his father's distressed pleading for it all to be a mistake, instead he concentrates on the rhythm of her pulse where his lips rest on her neck, the warmth of her arms wrapped around him, the comforting scent of her skin and the soft soothing stroke of her fingers against his neck. With her holding him as such he is able to fight off the despair from rising again and taking over him.

It is long after she has finished speaking that he is able to pull himself away from her. He sits back to see her once again staring at him, not with the pity or sympathy he expects but instead with nothing but love. He leans in to give her a gentle kiss, whispered "I love you's" spoken against pressed lips, before he finally draws himself away completely, rising to his feet and pulling her up with him. The room is near silent, the only sounds being his parent's muffled weeping. He walks over to them, reaching out to his father for Xavier, who is handed over willingly, his father turning and wrapping his mother in a tight embrace before Eric has even settled the baby against his chest. He watches as his father pulls his mother down onto his lap, their sobs rising as they cling to each other.

He heads for the other armchair, settling in with Xavier lying across his chest. He looks up to see Calleigh standing hesitantly a few feet away and finds a small smile playing at his lips over her proper ways. He knows she wants nothing more than to curl up beside him, but is unsure whether it is appropriate with his parents in the next chair, even after the way they just held each other on the floor. But that was different. Then she was comforting him and didn't think twice to give him what he needed, would do it again in a heartbeat no matter who was there to witness it. Now however, while he still clearly needs her, he is not going to fall apart without her there holding him and she is uncomfortable displaying such a level of intimacy with his parents barely a foot away. But with the way he looks at her as he presses his right side into the chair, opening his left arm to her, waiting for her to join him, she finds herself climbing in next to him, curling up against his body, nuzzling her head into the crook of his neck and reaching out to lace her fingers through his own resting on Xavier's back and she realises she couldn't care what his parents think, this is exactly where she wants to be and she isn't moving for anyone or anything.

Half an hour later a nurse knocks on the door, and after waiting for over a minute and receiving no reply, slowly opens it and steps into the room, hesitating as she sees them all. An older couple she takes as the man's parents are seated together in one armchair and appear as if their whole world has been shaken. The tracks on their faces from their tears are still clearly visible beneath their swollen, red eyes. The younger couple she has come to speak to are curled up together in the other chair, the baby resting on the man's chest. They appear to be dozing, but as she steps further in the room, the eyes of all four adults rise up to watch her, the wariness in their gazes causing her to stumble.

"I'm sorry to bother you; I just thought you would like to know as soon as possible."

She kicks herself at the panic she sees cross their faces and she is quick to reassure them.

"No, it's nothing bad. It's good news in fact. Lieutenant Caine woke up briefly about twenty minutes ago and they were able to take him off the respirator. He is just on a nasal cannula now and they'll be taking him down for some tests shortly, but it appears he is coping fine, so he should be off the respirator for good, barring any complications. He is asleep now but they expect him to wake sporadically for brief periods over the next couple of days. I'll keep you updated as we hear more."

She smiles at them as she backs out of the room, glad to see some of the tension leaving the younger couple. They have been through so much these last few days; a little good news is welcome.

Eric smiles down at Calleigh, the relief on his face at the good news mirrored on her own. He leans in for a kiss before pulling back and glancing over at his parents. His body jerks a little at the matching glares they are giving him and Calleigh has to bury her face into his chest to hide the chuckle rising at the look on his face, something very close to a three year old just caught out by his mother.

"Something else you neglected to tell us Eric?" his mother questions.

"Yeah, sorry, just with everything else it kind of.. ah.. got pushed aside. You know those two CSI's that were injured, well they are Horatio and Natalia. H was shot in the stomach and has been unconscious ever since, well until now that is. It was touch and go at first, the bullet did a lot of damage and he has already had a few surgeries with more to come, but the doctors are pretty certain he will make a full recovery, eventually. Natalia was locked in the boot of a car and it went off the jetty into the bay. She took in a large amount of water but they got to her just in time. She is still here on IV antibiotics and under observation but she'll be heading home tomorrow, a bit shaken and sore but otherwise fine."

"Oh Eric. You should have called us when it happened. I know you were otherwise occupied but there may have been something we could have done. Oh, their families, I hope someone thought to let them know." She says with a pointed look at her son. "And what about Kyle? That poor boy. This is the last thing he needs. Has someone told him? Does he know about his father?"

"Yeah Ma. He was about to head back out to Afghanistan, the news got to him just in time. He has been with Horatio since. Hasn't left the hospital at all."

"Oh that poor boy. There must be something we can do for him. I would like to go see him, do you think I could?" she asks.

"Sure Ma, I'll take you down now. What about you Papá, do you want to come down as well?"

"Yes son. I'd like to see Horatio and the boy too."

"Ok. Calleigh, did you want to come? I'll get the nurses to watch Xavier for us. Or did you want to stay here?"

"I'll just stay here Eric. You take your parents down."

Calleigh gets up and reaches for the baby, allowing Eric to rise as well. She heads to the bassinet and places the sleeping baby in it before bending down to brush a light kiss across his cheek, smiling as she straightens up adjusting his blanket. Eric has followed her to the bassinet, smiling to himself at the way she is with the baby, pausing to give her a quick kiss to the temple. Pulling back he turns to leave, only then noticing his parents have failed to move.

"Well come on, don't you want to go down?" he asks.

"Yes. We were just wondering why Calleigh has to stay here. Surely they wouldn't mind a baby this small down there. It's not like he would make much noise or anything" his mother responds.

"I haven't actually checked. I don't think they would have a problem with a short visit though, as long as he didn't disturb anyone. But the thing is.. you see.. no one in our team actually knows about him yet. Well beside Horatio but he was unconscious when he was told so I doubt he will actually remember. Oh and Alexx, but that's another story.." he babbles glancing at Calleigh, noticing she has stilled completely, a look of horror on her face. He smiles at her, reaching out for her hand and squeezing it firmly, giving her a small shake of her head, letting her know that he will not tell them of her running away. That it is just between them. Relief crosses her face and she smiles back at him, one of her bright smiles that has her eyes twinkling and reaches his heart instantly and he has to stop himself from pulling her against his chest and kissing her senseless, knowing she would be horrified if he did so with his parents in the room.

The disappointed look his mother is once again throwing his way has him quickly backtracking.

"It's not like I'm hiding him or anything Ma, it's just that there has been so much else going on that I didn't want to throw something else into the works. And besides, I knew you would kill me if I told the team before I told you."

"Yes, but Eric if you hadn't of waited three days to tell us that wouldn't be a problem now, would it? Why don't you bring him down and tell them now?"

"No Ma. It's about H at the moment. He has finally woken up. I'll tell them about Xavier soon. Now come on, let's head down, we might catch him awake again."

Calleigh smiles as she watches them walk out the room together, his mother still chastising Eric, her voice carrying along the hall, fading as they head to the elevators but only ceasing completely as she hears the thud of the maternity ward doors closing.

Eric leans his forehead against the cool metal wall of the elevator, closing his eyes and breathing deeply, trying to block out his mother's nagging. He turns his head slightly at a sound beside him to see his father fighting to control his laughter and shoots him a glare, which only makes his father laugh more. His mother keeps it up even as they get off the elevator and head for the ICU, and he distinctly remembers telling Calleigh before about times when he wished his family would just disappear. This is defiantly one of those times.

The atmosphere changes the second they walk through the doors of the ICU, the hushed, sombre environment causing even his mother to stop, her words dying on her lips. He heads for Horatio's room and they follow him slowly, their eyes turning to look in each room they pass, the pain flashing across their faces at the reminder of other times they have been in this ward, times their baby was fighting for his life, the time their daughter lost hers.

A nurse sees him coming and moves to stop them all at the door but Eric brushes her aside, explaining they are Horatio's in-laws and are entitled to see him. She is too shocked at his abrupt manner to do anything further and decides to let them be, she'll step in again only if it seems too much for Horatio. This is defiantly breaking the two visitors at a time rule, but the rules all seem to bend around people such as Lieutenant Caine and his team anyway.

Pavel has stopped at Eric's words to the nurse, bristling at the reminder of their daughter's short marriage. One of his greatest regrets is not seeing his Mari get married, and then to lose her only hours later nearly tore him apart. He wasn't there for her when he should have been and as he finally moves to enter the room he finds himself sending her a silent vow to do all he can for Horatio and Kyle.

Eric follows his father into the room, a hand resting on his shoulder in reassurance. He saw the older man falter and knows exactly what is running through his head. His mother has stopped just inside the door, waiting for Eric to take the lead. Kyle is still seated at his father's bedside, staring intently at his face, waiting for any sign of waking. Some of the tension has left the young man's body but the worry is still clearly evident. He knows his father still has a long way to go.

Eric heads straight to Kyle placing a hand on his shoulder to draw his attention. He notices Alexx asleep on the other side of the bed and talks to the boy in a hushed tone so as not to disturb her.

"Hey Kyle. We got the good news. Has he woken again?"

"Hey Eric" he responds wearily, turning towards him, not noticing the older couple standing behind. "Nah. He hasn't so much as stirred since he went back under so I think it will be awhile."

"Sure, he has always done things in his own time, why would this be an exception" he chuckles, earning a small smile from the young man. "Listen Kyle, do you remember my parents?" he asks, turning slightly to indicate them standing behind him. "You've meet them a few times at the lab and at my place."

"Yeah of course. Hello Mr and Mrs Delko" he stands to greet them and stretches his hand out to Pavel. Pavel grasps the offered hand and shakes, noting how the young man barely shakes back, his eyes and attention already back on his father. The little display is all it takes to snap his mother into action. She is over by Kyle in a heartbeat, wrapping him in a tight hug, murmuring to him that Horatio is strong, he'll make it through, they are all here for both of them.

Eric watches as Kyle tenses at first before quickly relaxing and hugging his mother back. He has been so strong these last few days, kept it all together so he could be there for his father, but clearly this grandmotherly display is just too much and right before Eric's eyes the boy crumbles, his body shuddering as the tears start to fall. Eric turns, catching his father's eye and they discretely slip out of the room to give the young man some privacy, settling into a couple of chairs out in the hallway to wait.

It is a good twenty minutes later before Carmen comes out to join them. They stand to greet her and she motions for them to follow, leading them off the ward and towards the elevators. She waits until they are on their way back up to Calleigh and Xavier before she speaks.

"That poor boy, he is so lost. He told me the only way he has gotten through is because Alexx has not left his side. She must be exhausted, she didn't even stir. Kyle is exhausted as well. I tried to talk him into coming home with us for a rest but he refused. He is insisting on being there every time Horatio wakes. So I am going to make it as easy on him as I can. We are going to go and get them both some real food and anything else I can think of that might make them more comfortable. Let's just pop up and say goodbye to Calleigh and Xavier and then we'll head off so we can be back for dinner" she finishes and Eric finds himself chuckling softly. A drill sergeant has nothing on his mother. He knows that not only will she bring food in for Kyle and Alexx but also for Eric, Calleigh and the rest of the team still with Natalia, and she will watch them all closely, making sure they eat every last scrap she dishes up. Still laughing he wraps her in a bear hug from behind, placing a kiss to her hair.

"God I love you Ma."

"Don't take the Lord's name in vein Eric. Why is that so hard for you to remember" she chastises as they step off the elevator and enter the maternity ward.

Calleigh hears them coming the second they enter the ward. When they left her Carmen was scolding Eric, but as they come back to her all she can hear is the loud rumble of Eric's laughter. As they enter the room she studies each of them, Carmen shooting a dirty look at Eric, who walks in behind her doubled over in laughter while Pavel enters last, a twinkle in his eye and a smile on his lips, his own amusement at mother and son apparent. Calleigh can't help the smile that crosses her face at the sight of them, the thought that Xavier is one lucky little boy to find such a family playing on her mind.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter Seventeen**

Carmen and Pavel are getting ready to head out when Carmen notices a box placed just inside the door. She hands Xavier -who had needed just one more cuddle from his grandparents- to Eric before she walks over and looks in. Seeing the numerous samples of baby formula and diapers and a couple of other odds and ends she turns to look questioningly at Eric who has come to perch on the armchair next to Calleigh.

"There sure are a lot of samples in here. What did you do, sneak into every room and steal them while the parents were busy?" she questions her eyebrow raised in admonishment. Eric glances up at her in confusion, no idea what she is talking about. Calleigh pulls her eyes from the baby in Eric's arms to glance up; a chuckle rising at the look Carmen is shooting at them.

"No. That's all from the nurses. Well one in particular. A Nurse Roger's has decided to take us under her wing and she dropped that in while you were all downstairs. She knows that Eric hasn't really had the time to prepare to take Xavier home so she has packed enough in there to get through the first couple of days until he's all sorted."

"When do you take him home?" Carmen questions.

"Tomorrow" Eric and Calleigh reply in unison.

"For goodness sake! Are you purposely trying to drive me around the bend? How can you expect to take a baby home tomorrow if you are not prepared in the slightest? Where is he going to sleep? What's he going to wear? How are you even going to get him home?" she cries in exasperation.

"Calm down Ma. We're not completely unprepared. Ari had most of the stuff he'll need, we just have to get it to my place and set it up. I need to get a stroller and a change table, but we'll get by without them for a couple of days."

"My grandson is not going to just get by. I can't believe you were just going to take him home and work from there. Give me your keys, I'm going to call your sisters and we will get you organised."

"It's alright Ma. You don't have to do that. We'll get it sorted."

"I know I don't have to Eric, but I am going to, so you might as well just accept it and let me. We won't do anything drastic, just get all the stuff to your house and set it up. You can sort it out however you want to when you get a chance. First things first, where are Arianna's keys and where is her house?"

His protests die on his lips at the feeling of Calleigh's hand grasping his arm and he turns slightly to look at her, grinning sheepishly at the pointed look she is shooting him.

"Eric, let them help. There is no way it will all get done otherwise. Stop fighting it just for the sake of fighting it. It won't kill you to accept help once in awhile."

She grins at the incredulous look he is giving her, realising the words she is telling him are nearly the same ones he has so often used on her. He chuckles softly in reply, using his free hand to cover her own still grasping the arm holding Xavier, peeling her fingers away and lacing them together with his, he raises them to press a kiss to the back of her hand before dropping them to rest against his thigh.

Knowing she is right, but hating that he has to rely on others to once again get things done for him, he turns back to his parents with a sigh. "Sure Ma, I'd be really grateful for your help. Ari's keys and all the info on her house is in the top drawer over there. My keys are on the table by the door. You might as well take my car; it's just outside the main door. It's bigger than yours so will give you more space to move the stuff over, plus you will be able to put the car seat straight into it, which is in Ari's car at her house, she took a cab to get here. If you would set his stuff up in the smaller guest room, next to mine, that would be great. Move anything out you need too, just throw it in my office for now." He pauses for a moment before taking a shaky breath and continuing, "Are you going to be o.k. going into Ari's house? Just with her...you know... are you going to be all right going through her things?"

His mother's face softens at his words and he watches the sadness cross her features. She walks over to him, cupping his chin, waiting until he meets her eyes. "When have I ever not been all right going through any of my kid's things?" she questions, drawing a chuckle from her son like she intended. "We'll be fine. Don't you worry."

"Ma, one more thing. We had a meeting this morning with the funeral director. I'll go through everything with you later but I have to get back to him today about when we will have it. We thought Thursday; I just wanted to check that you would all be o.k. with that."

"Thursday will be fine Eric." He watches the grief flash in her eyes at the reminder of Arianna's passing and as she truly realises all Eric has gone through and dealt with over the last few days. She bends over to press a kiss to his forehead, smoothing his hair back as she lingers just that bit longer than usual. She reaches for Calleigh next, placing a matching kiss on her before whispering in her ear. "I can never thankyou enough for being here for him, getting him through this."

"There is nowhere else I would be." Calleigh's determined words draw a smile from Carmen and she rewards the younger woman with another kiss before pulling away and heading for her husband.

"Come on Pavel. There is much to do. You drive," she orders throwing him Eric's keys, "I'll ring the girls and get them to meet us at Eric's house. I think we need to tell them all this in person before we get started, not something to be done over the phone. Also, we need to stop at the store on the way. I'll cook at Eric's while you guys set everything up, that way I can supervise and make sure you do it properly..."

Eric and Calleigh find themselves laughing at both his mother, whose orders are still coming thick and fast as her voice fades off down the hall, as well as his father and the desperate look he throws them as he trials his wife out the door, something very close to 'save me'.

After their laughter subsides they sit in comfortable silence together for a few minutes, Eric perched on the arm of the chair, Calleigh resting against him, both relishing just being together.

"You're lucky you know." Her voice is so soft he wouldn't have heard if she wasn't pressed so close to him. He knows immediately what she is talking about.

"Yeah, I know. They drive me crazy most of the time and don't seem to understand the concept of personal space, but I wouldn't trade a single one of them or anything about them for the world."

"I know I saw it when we were together before but you forget what that's like when you haven't been around it for awhile, when you didn't grow up with it. I can see why Ari was so comfortable leaving Xavier with you. I mean, not only does he get you, but he is going to grow up surrounded by them, by that. He is never going to doubt that he is loved."

"You can have that too Cal. They already love you like one of their own, hell, probably more than they love me, seen as though you have never given them any of the grief I have" he tells her earning a small chuckle. "In fact, they already consider you family, you have to see that. You saw my mother when she got here before. She ran straight for you Cal. She was just as worried for you as she was for me."

"I know Eric, I'm just not used to it, not used to people worrying about me and caring what happens to me. Not used to them loving me just for being me. What have I ever done to deserve their love?"

"Oh Cal, you deserve it all and so much more. Just being yourself is all we need, all we would ever ask of you. Because it is you that we love Cal, everything about you. Your generous heart and kick-ass attitude. Your gorgeous smile and sparkling green eyes. The way you would do anything for us, going out of your way to help with anything, no matter what the cost to you. Your fierce loyalty and protectiveness. I wouldn't change a single thing about you Cal, everything about you is perfect, makes you who you are, and every new thing I discover makes me love you even more. "

She gives him a shaky smile which he returns as he stares into her eyes, studying her thoroughly. He doesn't like everything he sees, behind the hope and love staring back at him, there is still the disbelief, the shadows of a sad little girl who grew up believing she wasn't worth loving, her parents too caught up in their own lives to see the beautiful gift right in front of them and what they were doing to her. She starts fidgeting under his gaze, shutting her eyes and pressing her face into the crook of his arm to escape his stare, her hand tightening in his own, pressing down into his thigh as her face presses harder into him. He knows she is fighting the tears and emotions from overwhelming her, so he doesn't say anything else, even though all he wants to do is wrap her tightly in his arms and tell her over and over how perfect she is, how special she is to him.

"I'm scared Eric. What if I mess it all up. What if I disappoint them, disappoint you?" she whispers, her voice catching.

"But babe, that's what family is all about. It's called unconditional love for a reason Cal. I mean look at all the crap I've put my family through but they still keep coming back, would still drop everything and come running the second I ask. Sure they never let me forget a thing, always seem happy to remind me of everything I have put them through, but they are always there, always waiting in the wings to help me when I ask and even when I don't. They still tell me they love me and show me at every opportunity. Beside Cal, you could never disappoint me. Sure you may do things I don't understand or agree with but the only thing you could ever do that would let me down would be for you to give up, turn your back and run. As long as you keep fighting for us nothing you could ever do would be a disappointment."

He presses a kiss to her hair and feels the fierce kiss she presses into his chest in response, feels her fingers tighten against his hand as she struggles to control the tears once again rising. She is grasping him so hard he can feel her nails digging into his hand and he knows that when he looks later he will have small crescent shaped marks etched into his skin, but he doesn't say a thing to her, a little pain he can put up with if he can make her understand how important she is to him and his family, make her see that they are all waiting for her. He presses more kisses into her hair before he speaks again.

"The only one holding back is you. The only thing keeping you from the family you have always wanted is yourself. But I have faith in you Cal, in us. We'll get there baby. I'll wait forever for you. No matter what, I will always be here, waiting for you with my arms open. Because you're it for me baby, there is no one else in this world for me. And with me comes that great big, annoying at times family. They're waiting right alongside me with their arms open, you just have to step into them Cal."

She doesn't speak for the longest time, but he smiles as he feels her nodding her head against him, her grip on his hand softening as she relaxes, her head eventually shifting so her face is turned up towards his. After a few more minutes in which he thinks for a moment she may have actually fallen asleep, her breathing becoming so steady and her body so lax and calm against his own, she finally opens her eyes and he finds himself ostaring once again into beautiful green. This time however he is not troubled by what he sees there, and her words that follow cause his grin to widen impossibly larger.

"You're it for me too Eric, the only place I want to be is in your arms. And one day very soon, I'll be ready to step into their arms as well."

She reaches her face up towards his and he leans down to meet her halfway, capturing her lips in a heated kiss that holds so much more than love and promises. Her deep moans find him chuckling against her lips and he pulls back to rest his forehead against hers. After a few minutes he speaks again.

"There is one major downside to this whole family thing though, something you'll learn pretty quickly, and that is how much it sucks when they are right."

"What do you mean?" she asks in confusion.

"I've been thinking about what Ma said earlier, and she was right, though I will deny I ever said that if you tell her. I think we should take Xavier down to meet the team tonight. It's not going to be fair on them or you tomorrow when you have to try and explain my absence and need for time off without them knowing the reason. And I want them to know, want them to meet him. What's a better time than when they are all together? Plus, it didn't go so badly with my parents, right? Maybe it won't be as bad as I'm imagining."

He was wrong. It was much worse than when he told his parents, well one part was. The trip to Horatio's room was fine, awkward at times but still pleasant; it was the later visit to Natalia's that really tested them.

They didn't head down straight away. Figuring a visit to Horatio's room would be easier with a happy baby, not wanting to disturb the ICU. Calleigh handled Xavier's feed while Eric put a call in to the funeral home, confirming Thursday for the funeral. When they were both done they worked side by side to change and settle Xavier and then once they were set they headed down, Eric cradling the baby against his chest with one arm, his other hand clinging to Calleigh's, his nerves evident. She tried to reassure him and he knew the only reason he was able to step onto the elevator was because she was standing beside him, her warm hand tucked into his own.

They head for Horatio first. As they expected he was asleep when they step into his room and they stand there for a moment; matching smiles crossing their faces at the sight of him, the improvement since the morning unbelievable. Most of his colour has returned; the deathly white tint of his skin long gone. His face was relaxed and he now looked much more like someone in a peaceful sleep than someone who had been fighting for his life merely hours before. They stand staring at him, taking everything in, so focused on him they don't even notice Alexx and Kyle. However the loud gasp from the other side of the room has them turning away from the bed and they manage to register Alexx flying at them seconds before the baby is pulled from Eric's arms.

"Oh Eric baby, he is beautiful" she exclaims, her fingers stroking across the baby's face and hair. "He is the image of you. Gonna be a little heart breaker just like your daddy, aren't you" she coos before she realizes what she has said, the hand that has been stroking the baby flying up to her mouth as she blushes in embarrassment. "Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that. God me and my big mouth" she stops abruptly at the chuckles coming from both Calleigh and Eric.

"It's alright Alexx" Calleigh reassures her. "We know what you meant" she tells her as she steps closer to Eric, wrapping her arm around his waist, making sure Alexx notices. Alexx studies them for a minute before nodding her head, a smile crossing her face in understanding. Calleigh is making sure Alexx sees she really is fine with everything, she is standing by Eric. That's not to say Alexx isn't disappointed in how this has all come about, that this baby in her arms doesn't belong to both Eric and Calleigh, but they both seem to be accepting the situation so who is she to say anything, and judging by the determine look in Calleigh's eye, this baby may very well be considered both of theirs before long.

"So, how's he doing?" Eric asks, drawing their attention to Horatio.

"Really good" Alexx answers with a smile, her fingers resuming their gentle stroking across Xavier's cheek. "He has woken again briefly and responded to a few questions we asked him, name, year, who we were, that type of thing, so we are pretty sure there is no brain damage. He has been stirring the last few minutes, so if you stick around a bit he may wake again soon."

"That would be great. As long as this little one doesn't decide to disturb the peace, we'll hang around." Eric responds. "How is Kyle doing?" he asks, noticing the boy sleeping at his father's side.

"Much better. He told me your mum visited earlier and that helped a lot. He seems to have got a lot off his chest; doesn't seem as worried any more. Horatio waking again and actually talking to him probably went a long way as well there. I know we won't be able to get him to leave Horatio's side, but I might be able to convince him to have a proper sleep tonight. The nurses mentioned putting a recliner in the corner for him if it isn't going to get in the doctor's way."

"That's good." Calleigh replies with a smile, "But what about you Alexx. Your little catnaps are not enough; you need to have a proper sleep as well. Why don't you head home tonight now that Horatio is doing better?"

"Oh, don't worry about me, I'm fine. I've done worse than this before. When I was a resident there times I went weeks with little more than a few hours stolen here or there."

"You're not a 20-something resident anymore though" Eric chastises, a teasing smile on his lips.

"God, don't remind me. Do you know how old I feel seeing you two here with this little one? I know I am not your mother, but at times I sure have felt like it, so seeing you with a baby of your own, yeah, that makes me feel just a little old."

Eric and Calleigh both chuckle at her response and give up trying to get her to go home, they both know their attempts are futile anyway. Instead Eric turns to Calleigh, pulling her away slightly and they have a discreet conversation, their whispers not missed by Alexx, but she is too caught up in the baby in her arms to give them more than a passing thought. They will tell her eventually anyway, she always gets one of them to talk.

Before long Eric is clearing his throat, drawing her attention up to him. She chuckles softly as she watches him shift nervously from foot to foot, his fingers fidgeting against Calleigh's hip before she reaches down and covers his hand with her own, stilling his movements.

"Uh, Alexx. Well, I..uh we.. that is Cal and I, we would really love it if you would be Xavier's godmother" he tells her, his eyes darting around the room, everywhere but on Alexx. After a long moment with no response he finally looks at her to see her staring back, a stunned look on her face.

"I mean, you have been so good to both of us" he is quick to explain. "Always there for us, looking out for us and helping us. You have saved both our lives on more than one occasion and often been the one we have turned to when we needed someone. You are so special to both of us and we want you to be more than Aunty Alexx to Xavier. We want him to grow up knowing you will always be there for him. If he can't turn to us, or God forbid something was to happen to us, we want him to know that you will be the one to help him through and look after him. Well, you and Horatio, we're going to ask him to be his Godfather."

Alexx looks down at the baby in her arms before looking back up at Calleigh and Eric, the tears shining in her eyes start to fall down her cheeks as she finally answers.

"I would be honoured. I don't have the words to tell you what it means that you think enough of me to want me to play such an important part in your son's life. I promise you I will always be there for him to turn too, just like I always have and always will be there for the two of you, no matter what any of you need" she finishes, her voice breaking as she chokes up.

Eric and Calleigh chuckle at her tears, even as they both reach up to surreptitiously wipe away their own.

"Well, not that I can beat that, but my answer is yes also."

The weak voice startles them all. They turn in the direction it came from to find two clear blue eyes staring back at them, their edges crinkling up in amusement.

"Horatio!" Eric and Calleigh exclaim as they continue to stare in astonishment at him.

"Gee, anyone would think you guys are happy to see me" he smiles.

That is all it takes. Within seconds they are upon him, Calleigh leaning over his side to brush soft kisses against his cheek, Eric grasping his hand and squeezing, Alexx stepping up behind them, a huge grin on her face, though it is more for the baby still in her arms, her godchild, who she lifts up slightly for Horatio to see.

"We were so worried H. We knew you would be fine but you had us going for awhile there" Eric tells him as Calleigh whispers in his ear how glad she is he is ok.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. Now more importantly, bring my godson over here, let me get a proper look at him" he orders.

They all chuckle at him brushing off their concern as Eric and Calleigh move back from the bed, allowing Alexx to step right up to the edge, turning the bundle in her arms so that Horatio can see his face.

"He is beautiful" Horatio whispers as he reaches out to place a hand on the baby's head, his fingers softly tracing the line of his hair, brushing the wispy curls back off his face. "The most perfect little baby."

Noticing Horatio is tiring already, even the small exertion needed to touch the baby proving to be too much for him, Alexx moves to push his hand away. Horatio's weakening protests die on his lips as she steps even closer still and places the baby on the bed beside him, arranging him so Xavier is nestled safely in the crook of his arm.

The smile that graces Horatio's face has the other three once again choking back tears, but they stop fighting them when he looks up at them, his own tears falling shamelessly down his face. Eric reaches into his pocket and pulls out Calleigh's camera and starts snapping away. Before long the room is filled with happy chatter and laughter as the camera is passed around and too many photos to count are taken.

"Clearly I've missed something."

The voice has them turning to Kyle with somewhat guilty looks on their faces. They had forgotten all about him even though they have stepped around him numerous times, and their noise has woken him from much needed sleep.

"Oh. Sorry Kyle. We got a bit caught up, and we... um... kind of forgot you were there" Eric explains sheepishly.

"Gee, just what a guy likes to hear" he replies, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "So, what exactly is going on here?" he asks, a pointed look aimed at the baby still nestled against his father.

"Well Kyle" Eric starts, bending to steal the baby from Horatio. "I'd like you to meet my son, Xavier Pavel Delko" he says with a huge smile on his face before stepping over to Kyle and placing the baby in his arms.

Kyle nestles the baby to his chest instinctively, rocking him slightly to settle his protests before looking back up at Eric and Calleigh who has come to stand next to Eric, her arm wrapping tightly around his waist, showing Kyle they are clearly a couple, almost daring him to question them. He looks away quickly, trying to hide the guilt he is feeling but as Eric starts trying to explain, stumbling and tripping over his words, Kyle knows he has to tell them.

"It's O.K. Eric. I know all about him. I was awake the other night when Calleigh came in." He looks to Calleigh. "Sorry. I was dozing and before I could say something you started talking and you seemed to really need to get it off your chest so I just pretended I was still asleep. I really am sorry. I didn't mean to eavesdrop."

She smiles at him as she answers. "That's fine Kyle. Really. You are a good actor though. I watched you for ages. I swear you were fast asleep."

"One of the skills I learned in foster care. Gets you out of all kinds of trouble."

"Was looking after babies another?" Horatio asks. "You're good with him."

"Yeah. One of the homes I really liked was this older couple who took in mostly babies. Not sure how I ended up there but it was one of the good ones. They believed in everyone pulling their weight and helping each other out. They taught me a lot about looking after babies and keeping them happy."

Eric watches Horatio's eyes darken as they continue to talk about Kyle's foster homes. As he watches the older man he realises that Horatio has not asked about Xavier's mother, and when there is a lull in the conversation he questions him about it.

"H. What about you. You haven't asked about Xavier and how I ended up with him."

"I don't need to. I heard you all. Every time you came in here and spoke to me I heard what you were saying. I always thought all that talk about unconscious people being able to hear what is going on around them a bit of a fairy tale, but now... I guess it's not. I heard everyone of you. Some things are a bit fuzzy and fade out, but I remember most of what you said. I tell you, if you want to learn people's secrets, just slip into a coma. Between Calleigh, you and Alexx I got the full story" he laughs.

The two women throw Eric guilty looks but he just smiles back at them, showing them he does not mind they spoke about him and his problems behind his back. They smile back at him and watch as he visibly relaxes when he realises he is not going to have to have that conversation with H while the man is awake and studying him, explaining it to him and seeing the judgement in his eyes. He's sure there will still be questions, like H said, he was unconscious and some things are fuzzy, but for now he knows enough to let it be.

Spying the camera that had been discarded on the bed at some stage he shoots Horatio and Kyle a cheeky grin before picking it up and motioning to Kyle.

"Come on then, get up next to your dad. Time for a family photo."

Kyle smiles back and quickly perches on the bed next to his father, their matching grins and sparkling blue eyes shining as Kyle moves Xavier to rest between them. Eric clicks a few photos before a nurse comes in, chuckling at the noise once again coming from the room. She spies the camera and grabs it off Eric, ushering them all around the bed for a group photo.

Once she is done she checks Horatio before heading for the door. As she leaves she turns to them all.

"I'll pretend I didn't see that baby in here."

"Sorry" Eric says with a guilty smile.

"That's fine. As long as he isn't disturbing anyone I don't see the harm. Just make sure I don't hear him."

"Thank you. I'll be sure to keep him quiet."

They stay for awhile longer, perched together at the end of Horatio's bed, the baby constantly being passed between Alexx and Horatio, Kyle even snagging a few more cuddles when he is quick enough. When they notice Horatio is struggling to keep his eyes open, they stand and say their goodbyes, Alexx following them from the room with Xavier snuggled in her arms. She leaves them at the elevator, reluctantly passing Xavier back to Eric, pressing kisses to both before she turns to Calleigh and wraps her in a tight hug, whispering in her ear to come and talk any time she needs to. Calleigh squeezes her back in reply and then turns to step into the elevator Eric is holding open, stepping beside him and reaching for his hand, lacing their fingers together, waving to Alexx as the doors slide closed and she heads back down the corridor to Horatio's room.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter Eighteen**

The elevator seems to move at express speed and before Eric even has a chance to breath the doors are opening again. They step out and he falters as they enter Natalia's ward. Calleigh feels the pull on her hand and steps back, squeezing his fingers as she comes to a stop facing him.

"Do you want me to go in first? Remind them I'm their boss for the time being and I can make their life hell if they give you any trouble" she asks with a smirk, her free hand coming up to adjust the soft wrap higher around the baby, fighting off the chill of the hospital's hallways before coming to rest lightly against the baby's back.

He chuckles softly as he leans down to rest his forehead against hers, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. After a long moment he opens his eyes and places a kiss to the tip of her nose before pulling back to look her in the eyes.

"Nah. I can do this. It'll be much worse if I let you fight my battles for me; Wolf would love that."

"I'm here with you Eric. With you all the way. Just remember that."

"I know. And that's the only reason I have gotten this far already" he replies, giving her a gentle kiss and whispering "I love you" against her lips before reluctantly pulling back.

He starts walking slowly up the corridor, Calleigh falling into step beside him. They reach the door to Natalia's room and the noise coming from within makes it clear that everyone is still there with her. He rests his hand on the door handle but can't seem to go any further. Calleigh sees him struggling and reaches over to cover his hand with her own, squeezing gently before pushing down, forcing the door open. She steps through ahead of him, smiling at everyone as they all turn to see who is entering. Their warm smiles and greetings fill the room so it takes her a minute to realise Eric has not followed her through the door. Turning back she sees him standing just to the side, out of view of everyone in the room, his body rocking, almost as if he is trying to force his legs to walk through the door but they won't cooperate. She reaches back for him, whispering softly so no one else can hear.

"Come on Eric. They are some of our best friends in here, our family. I know it's hard, but you can do this."

Everyone in the room is watching Calleigh with amusement. They realise something is up by the way she is acting, her nervous smile and hesitant wave as she greeted them giving her away. They watch as she leans back out the door and grabs for something; whispering to someone unseen. Seconds later she is pulling her arm back in and Natalia is the first to notice the large tanned hand clasped within hers. She inhales a breath and holds it as she looks higher to see the rest of him step through the door and up to Calleigh's side, his gaze focused only on Calleigh. She is so caught up in the sight of their hands firmly entwined, their fingers laced together, and the looks the two are giving each other; she doesn't even notice the bundle against Eric's chest. The others in the room seem to also be focused on the couple and what their appearance means. Finally Natalia finds her voice.

"So, does this mean you two are officially back together?"

The matching smiles that cross their faces answer the question for them, the single word they both reply unneeded.

"Yes" they answer in perfect unison, their gazes still locked on each other.

"Well about bloody time" she laughs back at them. "The tension around the lab has been unbearable this last year. Thought you two would never get your act together."

They both turn towards her with guilty smiles over what they have clearly put everyone through even though they tried to hide it all but before they can even open their mouths to offer apologies Xavier decides he can wait no longer to make his presence known. A soft squawk echoes around the room and the bundle against Eric's chest moves, catching the eye of everyone present. They look up at the couple in confusion.

"Where did the baby come from?" Natalia asks.

"Yeah. Did one of your sister's have another kid? You been here visiting and you've stolen their baby?" Ryan jokes.

"Nah, he's not my nephew" Eric responds. His grip on Calleigh's hand tightens and she squeezes back in reassurance before reaching over with her free hand and pulling the wrap around the baby down so everyone in the room can see him properly.

"Everyone I'd like you to meet Xavier. Xavier Pavel Delko" Eric continues, shifting his arm slightly and turning his body so that they can all see the baby's face.

"Delko?" Walter questions at the same time Frank asks, "If he's not one of your sister's, then who's is he, a cousin's kid or something? I thought you guys were the only Delkos."

The question is met with silence as Eric's eyes dart anxiously between Calleigh and the baby in his arms, studiously avoiding the stares of the others in the room he can feel burning into him. He opens his mouth to respond but nothing comes out. Calleigh squeezes his hand again in reassurance and he finds himself looking between her and the baby in his arms, trying to find the strength to just get it over with. After close to a minute of complete silence a soft voice brings his attention back to the others in the room.

"Eric, who's baby is he?" Natalia asks. He looks up at her, her eyes darting back and forth between Eric and the baby in his arms who so clearly resembles him and he sees on her face that she thinks she already knows the answer. It doesn't make it any easier but finally he finds the words.

"He's mine. He's my son."

There are no gasps of shock this time, just silence. Everyone in the room is staring at him, matching stunned expressions on their faces. Ryan is the first to break.

"Wh..what...how?"

"Well Wolfe, I know you don't have much experience in that field but I thought you would at least know about the birds and the bees" Eric jokes nervously.

The others in the room all chuckle lightly as Ryan shoots him a death glare and Eric realises instantly that teasing the man who has often given him hell for his lifestyle was probably not the smartest move. Sure enough Ryan is quick to respond.

"Of course I know about the birds and the bees Eric. What it seems though is that you don't. Or else you are just too stupid to cheat on your girlfriend and not get caught. He's pretty substantial evidence that you messed up. Is he the reason you two have been so cool towards each other all these months?"

"I never cheated on Calleigh and don't you dare talk about my son like that. He is a miracle, not supposed evidence that I did the wrong thing." He looks down at Calleigh, silently questioning her as to how much he can tell them. She looks back at him, a shaky smile on her lips as she squeezes his hand in support and leans into his body, nodding her head in permission to tell them as much as he is comfortable with, as much as he needs too. He takes a slow, deep breath before continuing. He'll tell them everything; or his new, slightly edited version of it at least. He owes them that much.

"Calleigh and I had been broken up for a few months. I hadn't even so much as looked at another girl, I was holding out hope she would learn to trust me again after the disaster that was my involvement with the State Attorney's Office. I thought I was doing the right thing, going behind your backs, trying to protect you, but I didn't see that I was doing more damage, didn't see what my lying and sneaking around was doing to Calleigh, that it would be the thing that made me lose her. We had been apart for awhile but I thought we still had a shot; we just needed a bit of time. And then there was the Bryden case. What that poor little girl went through because of her father. And the way he continued to lie and hide things even after she was missing. It turned out he couldn't have saved her, even if he had of manned up and told us the truth from the beginning, but he didn't know that. His greed and his lying cost him his daughter and his family and it was that which finally opened my eyes to what I had done to Calleigh by hiding everything from her, no matter what my reasons for doing so were. After we caught the guy who did it I found Calleigh in the break room. That case affected all of us, I know we all struggled with it, but when I saw Calleigh sitting there, lost in her thoughts and memories, I knew I had lost her, that there was no hope she would ever trust me enough again to give us a shot and she told me as much. I had to get out that night. I couldn't be home, everything there reminded me of us and how stupid I had been. So I went to a club, a place I hadn't been to in years, hadn't even thought of in years. I thought getting drunk would make me feel better, make me forget for a bit what I had screwed up, but it didn't work. Then I ran into Ari. She was a really old friend and we sat and caught up, all the while I got even more and more drunk. Finally she managed to drag me home, and the next thing I remember was waking up beside her. The second I turned and saw her in my bed, I felt sick. She was great about it, fobbed it off like it didn't matter, let me forget all about it. She was actually the one who helped me see that I couldn't give up on Calleigh, she was worth the fight, even if it was a fight I may not win. That up until then I hadn't tried hard enough to show her we were meant to be together..."

Ryan scoffs at that. "Pretty funny way to show her you love her and she can trust you" he mutters. Eric shoots him a glare before continuing, choosing to ignore him rather than fight with him.

"I made a vow that day to do everything I could to prove to Calleigh that she could trust me. I didn't push her, I was just there, and over the following months we slowly got closer and closer again, our friendship was back on track and it was just like old times. A few weeks ago we finally got to the stage where I had hope again that we would make it, maybe not right away, but we were close to being us again."

"Isn't that just lov..." Ryan snickers, stopping the instant Frank's open hand smacks him across the back of the head. Eric continues, ignoring his interruption again.

"Then Thursday happened and we both realised that life was too short to keep stuffing about. We were both in a place to give us another shot and after nearly losing H and Nat, we both realised that if something was to happen to one of us, we would never forgive ourselves for being apart when we could have been together. We still have some things to work through, things to deal with, but this is it. I love Calleigh with all my heart and I will do anything for her and I will not let anything mess us up this time."

"That's all very nice and everything Delko, but you know what they say, there's no use closing the stable door when the horse has already bolted, and your horse has well and truly bolted. You had a child Delko, with another woman, while you were supposedly pinning away over Calleigh and working to win her back. You don't deserve her Delko..." Ryan continues to rant but Eric and Calleigh are no longer listening.

Eric's face is still, his jaw clenched tightly, his hand clasped firmly within hers but his fingers slipping away as they curl into a rigid fist. She steps closer to him, her body coming to rest against his back, her lips pressing to his shoulder, removing her hand from around his fist to rub small circles against the back of his neck. Using her free hand she finds his fist again and works his fingers loose, once again lacing their fingers together and holding on tightly. She feels him start to relax slightly as she watches the others over his shoulder. Watches as Walter and Frank pull on Ryan's arms trying to get him to stop his tirade, watches as Natalia hisses at him to shut up and throws everything she can reach in his direction, but nothing stops him, he is on a roll, all his years of pent up anger at the way Eric has treated women and still always got the girl exploding. The way he has played with Calleigh's heart, hurting her so often and yet still she goes to him in the end, even when there were other men, better men in his opinion, waiting in the sidelines for her to look away from Delko and see them. There was a time when he was one of those men, his crush on Calleigh causing him to stutter and flush in embarrassment whenever she entered the room. He has moved on now, a certain other CSI the sole focus of his attentions, but he still feels strongly for Calleigh, would do anything to protect her. They are all a family, most of them closer with each other than their true families, and when someone hurts one of their own, even if that someone is one of their own themselves, then there is hell to pay.

It is Calleigh's voice added to the mix that finally stops him, her words causing him to falter midsentence.

"Are you about done yet Wolfe?" she asks, her usually sweet southern voice icy as she glares at him.

He swallows nervously as her words register. The use of his last name is what tells him he has gone too far. He has heard her call him Wolfe a couple of times when talking to the others, when he was still considered new to the team, but never has she referred to him as Wolfe directly to his face, it has always been Ryan. The use of his first name a sign of respect in her books.

He takes an involuntary step back, shifting uncomfortably under her frigid stare, but the sharp jab of Walter's finger in the middle of his back causes him to yelp and lurch forward. Eric smirks at him but he only glares back, not daring to respond and risk Calleigh's anger. As the silence stretches on and the tension in the room grows he finally breaks and looks back at Calleigh. As she holds his eyes she continues to address him, the venom in her voice causing him to wince but he doesn't dare to look away from her.

"While your concern for me is very touching" she tells him, the sarcasm dripping from her words, "let me assure you I am a big girl Wolfe, and I can look after myself. I don't need you to be my protector. Eric is doing a wonderful thing, standing up and claiming this little boy as his own..." she stops the instant she feels the pressure on her hand. Eric is squeezing her in warning and as she replays her words in her head she realises she may have very well let the cat out of the bag, her anger at Wolfe causing her to react, her mouth moving faster than her brain. She holds her breath as she looks around the room, but the other CSI's do not seem to have noticed her slip up, instead taking at face value their claims that Eric is the baby's father and her wording has not caused them to question this. As she releases her breath in relief she feels Eric's hand relax around her own and she squeezes him back in apology, her fingers that had stilled against his neck resuming their mindless patterns, earning her a small smile over his shoulder as his thumb starts to copy her actions against the back of her hand.

Closing her eyes for a second she takes a deep breath before continuing, her voice now a lot softer as she focuses on Eric's thumb against her hand instead of her anger towards Wolfe. "What happens between Eric and I is our business, so I am going to tell you this once and only once. We tried to keep our personal life out of the lab, but it seems we may have failed at that over this last year, and if we have ever made you uncomfortable or put you in an awkward position I apologise for that, but I am not sorry for anything that has happened between us, it has made us who we are now, together and both in this thing completely. The only thing I am sorry for is what it took for us to finally see that. And let me tell you this. I am standing by Eric one hundred per cent. He has done absolutely nothing wrong and I will not hear any of you say otherwise. He is a wonderful man and already a truly wonderful father, and if anything I love him even more for what I have discovered about him these past few days than I ever thought possible."

There is a stunned silence following her words. The others in the room staring at her with a mix of surprise and admiration. Calleigh is notoriously a very private person and as such never reveals much about herself, but the way she has just so freely expressed her feelings towards Eric finds them all comprehending exactly how strong her feelings are and how committed she is to them. Ryan is the first to break the silence but is quickly stopped by Calleigh.

"Calleigh. I am..."

"No Wolfe. Just be quiet for once. You've done enough damage as it is. Stop before you dig yourself in any further."

He finds himself once again wincing at her words, even though they are said this time without a hint of venom. With a quick glance around the room in which he is meet with nothing but cold stares he walks to the door and goes to leave the room, turning just before he exits to address the room in general.

"I think I'll head out for awhile, I'll come by again a bit later. I'm sorry for upsetting you, I just thought..."

"No Wolfe, you didn't think" Calleigh once again cuts him off before turning and grabbing the door, moving to close it in his face she stops only when she sees the look in his eyes, a cross between hurt and regret.

"I really am sorry Calleigh" he almost whispers, pleading with her to hear him out. "I never meant to upset you."

"But you did Wolfe, both of us" she tells him, waving her hand in Eric's direction, "and with everything else going on right now, I don't have the energy to deal with you at the moment. We came here today to give you guys the truth. To let you know what was going on so you could understand why Eric won't be at work for awhile. We thought we owed you that much. Eric was worried about how you would react, but I thought he was just being over anxious. You are all our closest friends, so close we think of you as our family and I thought you would accept what we had to tell you and step up and support us. Clearly I was wrong.."

She is cut off by the instant objections from the others in the room.

"No Calleigh. We are here for you..."

"Whatever you guys need..."

"Calleigh, Eric, don't think that..."

Their earnest protests draw smiles to both Eric and Calleigh's faces and Calleigh turns from the door to thank them, leaving it open but without another glance in Wolfe's direction, not shutting him out but not inviting him back in either. He hesitates at the door, not wanting to push it and come back in, but not wanting to leave either, so he compromises and leans against the door frame, silently observing the room and its occupants, ignoring the dirty looks the other CSI's are throwing at him for making Calleigh feel like they don't support her and Eric.

Xavier has started to wriggle and softly whimper his protests. Even though she has not gone far, Calleigh's departure from his side has left Eric tense and the baby has sensed his unease, the arms holding him close no longer gentle and reassuring, the chest he is snuggled against catching with Eric's short, sharp breaths. Calleigh returns to Eric's side, one arm slipping around his waist, her hand coming to rest over his hip which she squeezes gently in reassurance. Her other hand finds its way to the baby's back, its presence instantly stilling his wriggling. His check is firmly pressed against his father's chest, his face towards her and at the touch of her hand his eyes blink open and seem to settle on her causing a bright smile to light her face in response and a small chuckle to leave her lips at the sound of his weakening protests.

Eric's free arm finds her waist and pulls her closer, her head coming to rest against his shoulder. Her hand on Xavier's back starts to rub gentle circles as she softly talks to the baby.

"Hey, hey Xavier. What's wrong little man? Are you getting impatient? All ready to meet your new Aunt and Uncles and we just won't stop talking? Hey baby, is that what's wrong?"

His whimpering stops quickly at the sound of her voice, his eyes slowly blinking closed, his long dark lashes resting against the soft ivory skin of his cheeks, before slowly opening and again settling on Calleigh.

"Come now Xavier, who would you like to meet first? Aunt Natalia looks like she is going to throw something at your Daddy or I if we don't stop fussing and take you over to her" she softly coos at the child as she presses against Eric's hip to propel him forward. She stays wrapped around them as they walk over to the bed, leaning into his side as he passes the baby over.

Natalia is instantly smitten, her eyes taking in every inch of the baby, her hand reaching to stroke his soft cheeks.

"Oh Eric, he is the most beautiful baby" she gushes, her eyes never leaving Xavier. Frank and Walter step over, one on either side of the bed, Frank playfully pushing Eric and Calleigh out the way with a smirk in order to get as close to the baby as possible.

"You've done well here Delko" Frank says as he reaches out for the baby's hand, a delighted chuckle leaving his lips as Xavier grasps one of his fingers.

"Wow, nice strong grip he's got."

Walter, not wanting to miss out reaches across the bed for the baby's free hand, his face lighting up when Xavier grabs hold of his finger also.

Calleigh and Eric step back, laughing at the sight of the two fully grown men arguing over who the baby is gripping tighter, as if the strength of his grip is a test of his affections, while Natalia continues to stare at Xavier, gently outlining the features of his tiny face, pausing only to smack away Frank or Walter's hands as they get in her way or jostle the baby at all.

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><p>Author's note: Terrible place to stop I know, but this chapter was getting huge and this was the only real place I could stop it. Don't worry, Chapter 19 is right behind it.<p> 


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Sorry not sure what happened to this last night. I uploaded the author's note twice by mistake and then updated the chapter to this but I think FanFiction ate it or something. Anyway, hopefully it uploads properly now. Sorry about the delay. Enjoy.

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><p><strong>Chapter Nineteen<strong>

As the three team members fuss and fight over the baby, Ryan, seeing his chance, steps over to Calleigh and Eric. Nervously clearing his throat he looks up into their faces, matching raised eyebrows the only response he gets. He has spent the last few minutes debating how to approach them. He is ashamed of all he said before, hating his words even as he spoke them, but not able to stop himself, the thought that someone he loves so much had wrong done by them causing him to see red. He still has no idea how to fix what he has done, but he knows he can't go another minute with Eric and Calleigh thinking he is not there for them, will not do anything in his power to help make this easier for them.

"Look guys," he finally stutters out, "I really am sorry. I didn't mean to hurt either of you. God, you are two of my closest friends in the world. Especially you Calleigh. You have always been there for me, for anyone who needs you and for once I could have been the one to be there for you. But I let you down. I was just so shocked by what you were telling us and the only thing I could focus on was how you may have been hurt in this whole thing. I don't know what I can say to make you see how sorry I am. I wish I could take it all back, go back to the moment you told us and be the supportive friend I should have been, the friend you both deserve. You have both done so much for me. Eric, I know we have had our disagreements in the past, but I know what type of guy you are, that you would be there for me in a heartbeat if this was reversed. I am just so sorry. I don't know what I can do or say that can show you that. What I can do to make it up to you."

Eric refuses to meet his eye. Calleigh watches him out the corner of her eye and thinks one thing's for sure; he knows how to hold a grudge, though in this instance, he is completely justified. She almost laughs out loud at the way he pointedly refuses to look at Wolfe, instead steadfastly staring over the shorter man's shoulder at the three still fussing over the baby. She squeezes his hand to get his attention and he immediately looks to her, gracing her with a soft smile the instant their eyes meet. She looks back at Wolfe, feels Eric sigh beside her when he realises what she is about to say. She squeezes his hand again and feels his gentle squeeze back, all she needs to let her know he's with her whatever she wants to do.

Meeting Wolfe's eye her smile drops instantly, letting him know she is still not happy with him. He is fidgeting awkwardly, twisting the thumb of his right hand almost painfully with his left, and she finds herself taking her time, letting him stew just that little bit more. Even though she knows where he was coming from, he hurt her and Eric deeply and she is not about to make this any easier for him. She feels more than sees Eric's smirk as he realises she is drawing this out on purpose, and knows she has to end this soon before it gets out of hand, but watching Wolfe squirm a bit more is just too tempting. She takes her time figuring out what she wants to say, slowly looking around the room. It is clear to her the others have heard everything and also know what she is doing, their smirks matching Eric's even as they pretend they are completely wrapped up in the baby and have no idea what is going on on their side of the room. Finally she looks back at Wolfe and addresses him.

"I can't speak for Eric, but I do accept your apology Wolfe. I know you are not a spiteful person and would not purposely hurt me or Eric, no matter what has happened between the two of you in the past. I know you just reacted, and even though I am perfectly capable of looking after myself, I do appreciate that you were reacting to the thought that I had been hurt, that you were trying to protect me. But Wolfe, even though I do accept your apology, I do not forgive you just yet. On purpose or not, you did hurt me Wolfe, not just by treating me like I can't look after myself, but by the things you said and the way you acted towards the man I love, and that is something I am going to take a long time to forgive. However, I want to put this behind us now. It may take awhile for us to get back to what we were, but it will happen Wolfe, you all mean too much to us to let a heated moment and some unthoughtful words destroy the relationship we have."

She feels Eric squeeze her hand and looks to him, thinking he is going to be angry she has basically let Wolfe off the hook, but instead she sees soft eyes staring back at her. His beautiful warm brown eyes still refusing to even look at Wolfe, but instead settled on her, his slight nod telling her all she needs to know. She rewards him with a smile and pulls him closer to her, releasing his hand to wrap her arm around his waist, her hand coming to settle in the back pocket of his jeans. He rests his forehead against her temple as she turns her head back to Wolfe.

"Well, maybe I can speak for Eric" she tells him, chuckling as she hears Eric whisper "Always babe, you can always speak for me, for us," into her ear.

"We both accept your apology and give us a bit of time and we will get over this. You have a lot of work to do here Wolfe, but we will get back to the family we were before this happened. Because that's what you are Wolfe, family, just like everyone else in this room, and you can't just write off your family, or so Eric here insists anyway."

"Thankyou both so much" Ryan breathes out on a relieved sigh. "I promise I will make this up to you. Anything you want, anything you need, let me know and I'll drop everything. No matter what I'll be there..." he trails off as he realises he is rambling.

"Stop grovelling Wolfe. That will be a start. And believe me; you will be making this up to us. Now go on over and speak to the others. If the death stares they gave you before are anything to go by, they will probably punish you more than we ever could anyway" she tells him, hiding her smile as she watches him swallow nervously before turning to meet the stares of the three others who have dropped the charade and are no longer even trying to hide the fact they are listening to every word. He walks over slowly, looking very much like a man walking to his death and she can't help but laugh at the pathetic sight. She feels Eric's hot breath against her hair and realises he is laughing as well. She pulls away so she can turn to meet his eye.

"Hey"

"Hey" he replies, reaching out to stop her pulling any further away. "You are a good person you know. Too good for any of us. I don't know how you can do that. Just let it go like that. If it wasn't for you, and I had the energy, I would never let him forget what he did. But...I don't know...Listening to you I realise that there is too much other shit going on to bother with him. We are going to need all the help we can get, and holding a grudge against Wolfe will not help at all. It will just make it awkward for everyone, especially you and that's the last thing I want. But don't get me wrong, I will find a way to make him pay" he finishes with a chuckle.

Calleigh laughs with him before giving him a sly smile. "You forget Eric, I'm his boss for the time being. Just think of all the crap I can pile him with and he can't say a thing." Eric laughs out loud at her response and pulls her to him until she is flush against him. He almost crushes her in a tight hug before murmuring in her ear. "God I love you. If only we were alone right now." She laughs back at him and wriggles her hips laying flush against his, the warning growl in her ear letting her know her actions have had the desired effect. They are interrupted by a squawk coming from the other side of the room and Eric turns to see all the others in the room staring at them. Calleigh buries her face in his chest, but not before every one of them sees her flushed cheeks, thought they are not sure if it is from the embarrassment at realising everyone has just seen and heard their private moments, or the arousal Eric has clearly stirred in her. Eric chuckles at her even as he moves his arms to shield her from their view, allowing her the time and privacy to come back to herself. He's not embarrassed at all. He is proud of the effect he has on her and he will gloat until the end of time about the effect she has on him.

He discovers the squawk was from Natalia; who else he thinks, and he just rolls his eyes at her. She smirks at him before turning to look at the three men around her bed, bumping her shoulder into Walter's hip and rolling her own eyes at the sight of him giving Eric the thumbs up. He chuckles in response, before settling back to watch the four adults fawn over the baby Natalia is still yet to relinquish. He watches in amusement as Wolfe steps back slightly when he realises Eric is watching them. He clearly wants to fuss over the baby, would probably kill to hold him, but he knows it is not his place at the moment. He tries to avoid Eric's eye but finds he can't help but look up at the man as he feels the heat of Eric's gaze. Neither man is sure who is more surprised when Eric stares him down before nodding slightly and then looking to the baby, effectively giving his permission for Wolfe to step back in and fuss over the baby. Feeling a kiss to his chest that draws his eyes down he meets Calleigh looking back up at him with the warmest look he has ever seen.

"You are a wonderful man Eric. You don't see it but you are the most generous, beautiful man I have ever met" she whispers, aware of the others in the room and wanting her words to be only for Eric. He is lost in her eyes, not sure how to respond when she simply presses her lips against his chest again, before turning to rest her cheek against the soft cotton of his shirt, her eyes falling on the baby Frank has finally managed to steal from Natalia. They are pulled from their moment by Frank as he glances up at them quickly and asks the question Calleigh knew would come eventually, surprised it has taken this long.

"Guys, what I don't understand is why Eric won't be coming back to work. I mean, I know there is paternity leave, but with you not being with the mother... I mean, not that that should stop you spending all the time you can with your son...but that's normally for guys to help their partners settle back in home and...well...damn, I don't even know if it's even my business..but hell...I'll just shut up now' he finally stutters out, expecting his awkward rambling to be meet by chuckles from Eric and Calleigh, only looking up again when there is nothing but silence. The devastation he sees on Eric's face tells him instantly he never should have opened his mouth. The others in the room have all turned towards the couple as well and are instantly worried by the reactions of the two to Frank's questioning.

Finally Calleigh realises she will need to answer them. Eric's attempts to tell his parents did not go well and she knows he would hate for their friend's to see him break like that. She turns him so that he is facing away from the group and waits for him to wrap himself around her, feels him brace himself for what she is about to say, something he already knows all too well but also knows he is not truly strong enough to face again. And so, peering over his shoulder at the worried looks of their friends she proceeds to tell them about Arianna. She watches in turn as each of them cracks with the news. Frank first, pulling the baby tighter against his chest as he realises what the little boy has already gone through in his short life. Then Walter, who reaches around Frank the grasp one of Xavier's feet, as if to reassure the baby he has so many people left for him. Then Natalia, who can only swipe ineffectively at the tears streaming down her face, and lastly Ryan, who almost keels over as he realises what they had already gone through before bringing the baby to them, and how much worse he made it all for them, something he will never, ever forgive himself for.

For long minutes after she has finished speaking the room is held in a wallowing silence, no one knowing what to say or do to help the couple currently holding each other up. Calleigh can feel Eric shaking slightly with the effort to not get lost in the darkness again, and she rubs her hands slowly up and down his back, turning her head to press hot, open mouthed kisses against his neck. She can feel the glances of the others in the room as they look between them and the baby, hears as Natalia blows out a frustrated breath as she fails to find any words adequate in the situation. She feels Eric settle in her arms as he wins the battle against the darkness and can't help but laugh at the relieved sighs all four of their friends let out as a sharp knock on the door interrupts any attempts at soothing the couple.

The sound of Eric's mother's voice echoing into the room after the knock is meet by Eric's groan into her hair and she finds herself laughing again, swatting his shoulder as he whispers into her ear "Haven't we suffered enough?"

"What is it with you two?" she asks the second she sees her son and his girlfriend. "Why do you insist on hiding and then never answer your damn phone?" she scolds, a stern look on her face.

"Sorry Ma," Eric sheepishly apologises, a guilty look on his face as he reaches into his pocket for his phone and sees he has indeed missed three calls from his mother.

"You all insist I carry one of those horrible devices 'in case of emergencies', but then you never answer yours. What's the point of me calling you in an emergency if you never answer my calls" Carmen continues to berate him, even as she brushes past them and heads for the table by Natalia's bed, dumping the box she is carrying. She graces the four around the bed with a quick smile, their stunned faces and lack of response going unnoticed by her as she turns to look for her husband who should have followed her through the door, but seems to be absent. She shoots Eric another disapproving stare before heading back for the door, muttering about the incompetent men in her life.

The other team members turn their stunned looks onto Eric and Calleigh.

"Hey guys, you remember my mother" he smirks at them. "She's not very easy to forget"

"Watch your mouth Eric" Carmen chides as she marches past him again, her grip firmly on her husband's arm, all but pulling him along behind her.

"Hey Papi" Eric addresses his father, trying to hide his laugh at the desperate look Pavel gives him in response. "Ma been keeping you busy?"

"She sure has" he mutters in response before visibly relaxing as his wife is distracted by the soft noises coming from the baby, her attention now solely focused on her grandson, allowing him to scoot out of her hold and walk to hide in the corner of the room behind Eric and Calleigh. Frank willingly hands over the baby, worried what Carmen will do to him if he deprives her of her grandson for even a second. Just before taking him she indicates the two boxes resting on the table with a brush of her hand.

"Deal with that Eric. I didn't go to all that trouble for it to get cold." After which she takes her grandson and steps to a chair in the corner of the room, settling down with the baby and promptly ignoring everyone else in the room.

"At least we have finally found a way to get her to shut up" he whispers to Calleigh, only to get a shove in response.

"Behave Eric" she scolds, but her stern glare is ruined as she can't stop the laugh at Pavel's muttered,

"Amen to that. Can I take the baby home with me?"

The others are still standing around the bed, not sure exactly why Eric's parents have shown u loaded down with boxes. But the enticing scents soon drift their way and all at once the noise level in the room rises as they all settle down with the plates of food Eric passes each of them, Even Pavel comes out of his corner to help his son dish up the feast, while Calleigh hands out sodas and cutlery. It seems nothing has gone forgotten by Carmen. She has even included desert, a decadent looking chocolate Frank has been eyeing off since the second Eric pulled it from the box.

While everyone was eating Pavel ducks up to the maternity floor and gets a bottle for Xavier from the nurse he had meet earlier. He brings it back into the room with every intention of taking his grandson from his wife and feeding him himself, but he never gets a chance. The bottle is taken from him and is in the baby's mouth before he even realises it has left his hand. He sighs in defeat before resting against the wall behind the chair and watches his grandson greedily suck down his bottle.

Long after everyone, including Eric and Calleigh have eaten more than their fill and stuffed in the chocolate cake no one was able to say no to, no matter how full, Carmen is still sitting in the chair, caught up in the baby nestled in her arms. Pavel has moved to lean against the back of the chair, his arm coming around his wife to reach for his grandson, his fingers gently brushing back and forth across his brow, sending him off to sleep. Calleigh hates to break their moment, but it is starting to get late and they really need to get Xavier back up to their room before the nurses change shift, as they promised before they left the ward hours before. She nudges Eric and looks from his parents to the clock by the door, silently telling him they need to move on. Pavel notices her movements and taps Carmen on her shoulder.

"It's getting late Querido, it's time we give this little one back and head home. We still have a lot to do back at Eric's"

"Yes, your right" she responds, never taking her eyes off the baby and making no move to hand him back. Pavel chuckles at her before moving around to the front of the chair and reaching for the baby, taking him from her arms despite her protests. He stills as she stretches up to press a kiss to Xavier's brow, before placing one of his own as well, then turning and passing the baby to Eric who gives him a grateful smile, glad he didn't have to take the baby from his grandmother.

Ryan has watched the exchange, wondering about Pavel's words, wanting to speak up, but still unsure due to his outburst earlier. Finally he can't hold his tongue any longer and he hesitantly approaches the older man. The others watch his progress so they all hear his tentative question, and Pavel's reply.

"Mr Delko, Sir. What did you mean when you said you still had a lot to do back at Eric's?"

"We are setting up the baby's room and such. Eric and Calleigh haven't had a chance and Xavier heads home tomorrow, so my girls and their families are back there getting it sorted, but with everything that needs to be done, we will probably be at it all night."

"Papi, No!" comes Eric's response as he hears his father's answer. "As long as he has somewhere safe to sleep we can get the rest sorted later. I don't want you running yourself ragged getting it all settled now."

"Nonsense Eric" he replies, brushing his son off. Eric gives up without really fighting, knowing it is no use anyway. While he might be able to convince his father if he really argued, his mother would never leave the job half finished, especially when it comes to something for her grandson. He offers Calleigh a shrug of his shoulders when she comes to settle beside him, she also knows their protest would be useless. They move to the bed to allow the others to say goodbye to Xavier, but are stopped by Wolfe's tentative hand on Eric's shoulder.

"Eric, if it's alright with you, I would really like to go back to your house with your parents and help out in any way I can" he offers, his voice faltering as he looks up at them with uncertain eyes. Eric studies him intently and only when he sees Wolfe really does want to help them, not just make up for what he did earlier does he give him a curt nod of his head. Seeing his nod Wolfe releases the breath he has been holding and offers them a smile in thanks. Walter and Frank have been watching and when they see Wolfe has been given the all clear they too step up to his side.

"Good thinking Wolfe" frank offers as he clasps the smaller man's shoulder. "We'll come to. With the three of us to do the heavy lifting it should get done a hell of a lot quicker."

"Good men" Pavel tells them as he walks up behind them. He takes one of the boxes now full of scraps and dirty dishes, but it is quickly swiped by Frank, who turns and pushes it into Wolfe's arms before nodding at Walter to take the other. "Might as well start helping now."

After everyone has said their goodbyes to Natalia, who complains about being left behind, even as she yawns and her eyes droop, they all head out of her room, and she is fast asleep before they have all left, her adamant protests that she is fine now and should be able to come dying on her lips and being replaced by soft snores.

At the elevators they go their separate ways, Eric and Calleigh finding themselves pulled into Carmen's tight squeeze, before she pushes them into the elevator heading up before turning to the other elevator the boys are holding open for her, as the doors close her voice floats into them, already issuing commands and giving each of the men their jobs for when they get to Eric's. They both break into loud laughter as her voice is cut off when the doors close.

"They have no idea what they just volunteered for" Eric tells Calleigh as she comes to rest against his side.

They reach their ward and enter their room, working together to get Xavier ready for the night and settling him into his bassinet before they each take their turns in the bathroom. There are light touches and soft brushes of lips as they work together, easy smiles and gentle squeezes as they pass that just makes this feel so right to both of them. They are just settling into their armchair when a nurse knocks softly on the door, entering at their response. They quickly refuse her offer to take the baby for the night, Calleigh grateful Eric also wants to keep him in the room. She knows come tomorrow she is going to be insanely busy and doesn't know the next time she will be able to just lay there quietly and spend the time with her two men. Eric has sensed her need to have the baby with her, and while one last night of uninterrupted sleep would have been appreciated, knowing Calleigh wants the baby there as well as his own need to have them all together far outweighs a few hours of descent sleep. He doesn't know what the next few weeks, let alone tomorrow are going to bring and he is grateful for this last night of just the three of them, together, happy and safe.


	20. Chapter 20

Chapter Twenty

The week that follows is one of the longest, most gruelling of their lives, but coming straight after the weekend they just experienced, it barely seems to bruise them. Calleigh rises early their last morning at the hospital, waking before her alarm even has a chance to sound. She slips from Eric's arms and he hardly stirs, showing her exactly how worn out he really is, despite his reassurance to the contrary. She contemplates sneaking out of the room without disturbing him but knowing he will panic if he wakes to her gone she quickly dismisses that idea.

She heads to the small ensuite. She has been dreaming of her steaming hot shower at home, knows the high pressure of the water beating down on her back would ease most of the tension she feels there. But having a shower here, doing as much as she can out of her morning routine here, delays the moment she will have to leave, the moment she will burst the little bubble they are living in together and face the world outside their hospital room. She steps out of the shower, dries off and slips into sweat pants and a tee-shirt. She didn't bring any work clothes with her when she hastily packed her bag days before. She towel dries her hair as best she can before combing it out and gathering it up into a bun. Eric will be disappointed, he loves her hair loose and flowing around her shoulders but she won't have time to blow dry it when she gets home and it will get horrifically frizzy if she leaves it out natural in this humidity. She takes her time with her makeup; at least she thought to throw that in when she packed. For some reason putting on her makeup has always soothed her. The well practiced almost mindless art, the steady brush of the eyeliner, careful swipe of mascara, slight tickle of the rouge brush. They all have the same effect on her, calming the nerves she is feeling at both leaving Eric and Xavier as well as heading back to work as the boss.

Finishing up she packs her stuff back into her bag and steps quietly out of the bathroom. She peers into the dimly lit room, but after the bright lights of the bathroom she can't quite make anything out. Turning back to the bathroom, she tries to pull the door closed with as little noise as possible, so focused on her task that when he speaks she jumps a mile.

"Hey Babe. It's not that time already is it?"

"Hey" she replies, turning back to him with a smile, waiting a few moments for her heart to stop pounding and her eyes to adjust to the light before heading over to him. It is not until she draws closer that she sees he is not the only one up. Xavier is wide awake also, staring at an old blue bear propped up near his head. One of Eric's arms is stretched over the side of the bassinet, his fingers lazily playing with the baby's tiny fists. She reaches for the bear as she pulls up next to the bassinet, tracing its soft fur and button nose with her index finger.

"Where did this little guy come from?"

"My mum and dad must have bought him in when they came back last night. He was on our chair. I didn't even notice him before, we have been sleeping on him all night. He used to be mine. Apparently I didn't sleep a night without him until I was 7. Then I got a transformer for my birthday. I still remember waking up with bits of plastic digging into me. Didn't stop me having it with me at all times for close to a year though. When I moved on from the transformer I never went back to this guy. Guess I had outgrown him by then."

Calleigh chuckles at his story, leaning over to press a kiss to Xavier's cheek before heading around the bassinet to give Eric a matching one, only to have him turn at the last moment and capture her kiss with his lips. He feels her smile against his lips before she pulls back, her hand threading through his hair and coming to rest at the top of his neck, her thumb rubbing softly behind his ear.

"You are going to make it impossible for me to leave here" she whispers, trying to fight the pull she feels before giving in and leaning back into him for another kiss. This time it is Eric smiling against her lips.

"Doesn't seem like you're trying very hard."

She sighs, pulling back just enough to press her forehead to his, her eyes drifting shut as their breathes mingle in the inch between their lips.

"I wish I didn't have to go."

"Are you nervous?"

"A little bit. I'm worried that I'm going to let Horatio down, that I won't be able to fill his shoes. I have so many people relying on me now and I'm worried that I won't be able to handle it all. And...I'm worried about leaving you. This weekend, we have been through so much. Some of it has been horrible. H and Nat, Ari. But some of it has been so wonderful. Getting you back, this beautiful little boy. I'm worried that the moment I leave, this little bubble the three of us are in is going to burst."

"Babe" he starts, reaching one hand up to cup her cheek.

"You have nothing to be worried about" he tells her as his thumb softly strokes the skin beneath her eye.

"I'm not saying it is going to be easy, but look what we have already come through. If we can get through this weekend and come out the other end stronger, then we can get through the few hiccups the next couple of days might bring us." Seeing his words are only have a slight effect on her he places a gentle kiss to her lips before pulling back enough to look properly into her eyes. Seeing them still firmly closed he sighs.

"Look at me babe" he urges, nudging her cheek softly with the hand he still has placed against her soft skin. Her eyes open immediately, the tears he sees threatening to fall almost break him.

"Cal" he chokes out, "I love you. I love you with all my heart and nothing, NOTHING that you might say or do, nothing anyone else might say or do, and nothing that might happen to or around us will ever change that. We might be in a little bubble now and everything is going to change when we leave here, but we just have to keep coming back to each other, back to this, Back to the three of us. I love you both so very much, and nothing is going to ever change that. We may stumble every now and then, and that's fine, as long as we keep coming back to this. Nothing will ever break us apart, I won't let it. I'll fight for us, forever."

The tears she has been trying to hold in fall at his words and when he sees them, he's a goner as well, his own falling in a steady stream down his cheeks. She chuckles, bringing her hands up to wipe his away, as his own fingers do the same for her.

"Look at us, a pair of cry babies. We've shed more tears these past few days than the actual baby."

He chuckles in response before leaning up to capture her lips. "I mean it Cal" he responds, not allowing her to deflect his attention. "If I have learnt nothing else these last few days, it's that you have to fight for what you want and I want you, no one else. We can get through whatever is thrown our way as long as we keep fighting for each other."

"I know Eric. I love you too, both of you. I'm worried that it's not enough though. I don't know what I'm doing here. I mean I couldn't even manage a relationship when it was just the two of us, and now there's this beautiful little boy to take into account as well. And add to that all that I have to do at work now. I'm the boss Eric. In charge of all those people. If something goes wrong with an investigation it's on me. If a criminal gets away with it, it's on me. H has always been on top of everything, doesn't let anything slip through the cracks. What if I can't do it Eric. What if I mess up. I just don't want anything or anyone to slip through. I can't Eric. I'm the boss now, I'm responsible for all of them, for everything. For the team, for the victims, for their loved ones. Shit Eric, I'm the boss now!"

Eric feels Calleigh try to pull away from him. Her hands start shaking and her breaths get shallower as she starts to panic over everything she has taken on. But he doesn't let her go, his hand leaves her cheek where it has been resting and slides round to the back of her head as he untangles the fingers of his other hand from the baby's grasp, quickly slipping his arm around her, both hands now working to pull her against him. She doesn't fight for long, she very quickly gives in to the pressure of his hands and falls into him, her face burying into his neck, her body curling over his as their legs tangle together. Within seconds her arms are burrowing around behind him, making him chuckle softly at their insistent wriggling until he lifts his body slightly so they can make their way, wrapping around him, pulling her even tighter. He feels the tremors in her body as she tries desperately to hold her sobs. He knew this break down was coming. Calleigh is a worrier, cannot bear the thought of letting someone down. He worries too, worries he is not enough for her, that she still doesn't trust him enough. He is just so very thankful she is letting him see her worries, her fears, really see her; it shows him how truly into them she truly is. Now it is his job to step up and show her. Show her what he sees.

"Oh Baby. You won't mess up. You will do things differently to H and that's ok. You might make a few mistakes at first and that's ok. But you are extraordinary Cal. The way you care about every person you come across, the way you go out of your way to make their lives better in any way you can. That is you Cal and it means that you will never fail at this. It is a big ask and will be a lot of long, hard work, but I know you will not let any of the team down. You will stand behind each of them one hundred percent, just like you have always stood behind me, even when I have done the wrong thing and let you down. And sure, they will make mistakes, will mess up investigations, mislabel evidence and bungle interviews, 'cause they are human Cal, and everyone makes mistakes. But it will not be your fault. Hell, how many times did we mess up when H was boss? Nearly every damn day someone did something stupid that had him scratching his head in disbelief. But it was how he handled it that made him the boss he is. He's not perfect Cal, none of us are, but he never gave up on any of us. He always supports us one hundred percent and he fights for each and every one of us. You are the same Cal. You will not give up, ever. I hate to say it Cal, but there will be cases that won't get solved and even perps that might get away with it, but just like when you were an investigator you will never give up on any of them. Will support the team whole hearted and fight for every victim, every loved one, make sure none of them are ever forgotten. You will not rest until you get them the justice they deserve. So as long as you keep fighting you will never let any of us down, especially H. The fact you are stepping up and even attempting to fill his shoes will be making him so proud. He loves you Cal, almost as much as I do, and you will never be a disappointment to him, never ever to me. Just keep being you Cal and you will get through this, we will get through this."

Eric feels Calleigh calming against him, the tension leaving her body as he runs his hand up and down her back. Her face remains pressed against his neck, her breath warming his skin, filling him with a fierce need to love and protect her.

He gives her a few minutes. Just lays there with her pressed against him as he listens to her breathing even out, her body stop shaking, and her arms relax their hold on him. A noise from Xavier has him glancing over at the baby and the clock on the wall behind him catches his eye. Damn, it has gotten late. They have been laying here longer than he realised. Cal will start to panic again if she stays much longer. She hates to be late. He knows he should get her moving, but he is so happy with her here. Letting her go is the last thing he wants. He gives into his selfishness for a few minutes more before he finally accepts the inevitable.

"Cal baby, you need to get going" he tells her, though his hold on her never relents. She doesn't pull away, instead she sighs against him.

"Yeah I know" but still she stays firm against him. He knows it is going to be up to him to push her. His girl, usually so strong and independent, cannot find it in herself to let go of him. He buries his nose in her hair, taking one last deep breath, memorising her scent to get himself through the long day ahead without her, before moving his hands to her shoulders and slowly pushing her away from him. Her body starts to move, but her head doesn't leave its place and her arms tighten their hold on him.

"Cal" he sighs, "you really need to get going."

"Trying to get rid of me?" she laughs, her smile pressing against him, her teeth nipping his skin.

"Cal" he warns.

"Sorry" she murmurs, clearly not sorry at all as her tongue comes out to tease the spot.

"Cal, you are really testing me here. I don't have that much self control" he warns her, a growl in his voice that has her giggling against him. But before he knows it she has risen off him with a sigh, her arms leaving him as her hands reach up to fix her hair and he misses her immediately, wants to reach out and pull her back down. She seems to read his thoughts and leans down to give him a kiss, a gentle press of her lips that leaves him wanting more. Who is he kidding, he always wants more, can never get enough of her. She moves around the room, gathering her things, settling the last of her nerves. He watches her from his chair, knows if he gets up he will be more of a hindrance to her than a help, will end up trying to find a way to make her stay. As she gets the last of her things and turns back to him to say goodbye one look at her face has him laughing.

"Babe, you might want to fix your make-up before you leave. Two words, stunned panda." The death glare she shots him as she heads into the bathroom kills any thoughts he may have had of following her in.

Minutes later she returns, her makeup perfect one more. She heads to Xavier first kissing his forehead.

"Have a good day sweet boy. I'll see you later."

She then heads for Eric, leaning over to kiss him one last time. As she pulls away she whispers against his lips so softly Eric nearly misses it.

"Thank you."

He grabs her hand before she can get away, her eyes immediately finding his questioning ones.

"For talking me down yet again Eric. I don't think I would get through this without you. You make me believe I just might be able to do it. So thank you."

"Babe, you don't have to thank me. You can do it, I'm just telling you what you can't see. You never have to thank me for the truth."

Calleigh finally heads out of the hospital, the sun much higher in the sky than she would have liked, but she is still early enough to head back to her place, change and get her things before heading into work, cutting it a lot finer than she wants, but still leaving her enough time to get there and get her bearings before she has to start dealing with everything. She drives home, her thoughts on Eric and Xavier more often than she would ever admit, much more often than those of her day ahead, but as she rushes to get ready and races back to her car her mind shifts, while her boys are still at the back of her mind, they always will be, her thoughts are now set firmly on her day to come, what she will face, what she will have to deal with.

As she pulls into the parking lot she hesitates for a second as she passes Horatio's bay, his name has already been covered with tape, her own now neatly written in marker, but she doesn't stop, she keeps driving and parks in her usual bay. She takes a moment to gather herself, several deep breaths calming her before she gets out the car and heads to the large glass building she has entered so many times without a second thought. Walking past Horatio's bay she rips the tape off, glad to see his name still boldly printed below before she steps up to the door of the building, reaching out to grasp the handle and pull the heavy glass towards her a determined focus settles upon her, the last of her nerves drifting away as she steps through the doorway. She can do this. For Horatio, for Eric, for herself.

She is waylaid as soon as she enters the building, everyone she passes stoping her to ask after Horatio and Natalia and congratulate her on her 'promotion'. It is a good twenty minutes later when she finally steps off the elevator and the first thing she sees has her heart stopping. Horatio's office is lit up like every other morning and for a second she expects to see him starting back at her over his desk as she approaches the doo, like the last few days have all been a dream. Instead it is not H in his office but rather one of the admin girls clearing his things into boxes. Calleigh refuses to even enter the office, the poor girl nearly crying when Calleigh yells at her to stop before shooing her out, turning off the lights and firmly pulling the door closed behind her. Everyone in the lab watches as she pulls out the set of keys she had been given upon her arrival and sorts through before finding the right one, the click of the lock in Horatio's door echoing around the otherwise silent lab.

"Horatio will be back and until that time we are to keep the lab running as best we can without him. But we will not be replacing him. His parking bay is always his, as is his office and the only person that will ever change that is Horatio himself. So as long as I am in charge you will find me over here" she says as she indicates one of three empty conference rooms across the hall, "we can make do with only two conference rooms for the time being. No one is to step foot in Horatio's office. If you need to for any reason you come to me. Do you all understand?" she questions, the immediate nods of every head turned her way drawing a smile to her lips, a smile that is quickly matched by each and every person there. "Good, now if ya'll don't mind I'll just make myself at home here. Can someone help me move some of this furniture around?"

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><p><strong>Author's Note: Terrible place to end the chapter I know, but the chapter was too long to upload as one. Enjoy xxx<strong>


	21. Chapter 21

**Author's note: this chapter is dedicated to all my beautiful readers. Sorry that it took me so long to get back to this story. Hopefully you are enjoying the new chapters and continue to stick with me. I especially want to thank the beautiful people who took the time to review and let me know they are still there. Augus10, Calleigh16, juannediana, nonna99, Annemarie and Indi, it is great to know people out there are still interested in this little old story. This chapter is for you guys. Enjoy xxx**

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><p>Chapter Twenty-One<p>

Calleigh has only been in her new office for half an hour, barely had time to settle in, before a knock on her door reveals Ryan, Frank and Walter. She rises to greet each of them, a warm hug and quick kiss on the cheek for each, even Ryan, she is thankful for all the support is shown at the moment. They all return her gestures without hesitation, everyone of them squeezing her just that little bit longer than necessary, giving her their silent support and approval. They too can see Horatio's dark office across the hallway; can feel the gaping hole his lack of presence has left.

She chats to the boys for a few minutes before a tentative knock on her door has her gasping.

"Natalia. What are you doing here? I know for a fact you are meant to be home resting!"

"Nat" Ryan chokes out as he rushes to meet her at the door, slipping his arm around her and guiding her into one of the chairs by Calleigh's desk. "I only just left you and when I did you were tucked up safely in your bed. What the hell are you doing here? How on earth did you get here?"

"I had to come. I tried to tell you this morning but you wouldn't listen. H is already missing, and Eric is with the baby, I couldn't leave you guys too. I will only stay until the meeting is over. I promise. I just want to be with you when you have to walk into that meeting. You shouldn't have to do it with so many of the team missing."

"Nat, you really shouldn't be out of bed. The doctor only let you out because you promised you would be on absolute bed rest for the next few days. You promised you wouldn't do a thing, that I would be your slave. You must have been out of that bed before I had even made it to the driveway!"

"You were in the hallway, just outside my room" she whispers, her breaths coming short and fast.

"Nat" he scolds her, kneeling in front of her. He reaches for her hands and she gives them to him willingly. He feels how clammy they are and looks into her eyes, sees the pain flash before she manages to hide it, notes the short sharp breaths she is trying to swallow down; he can see her trip has taken more out of her than she will ever admit. "You promised. I know you want to be here but you're not up to it. I can see you. I know what you're trying to hide from us" he tells her softly, trying not to let the others hear. She sighs in response, not because she doesn't have anything to say, but because at that moment she can't. She knows she has pushed it a bit too far, she is struggling to catch her breath. She gives him a weak smile, the closest she will ever get to admitting he is right. He sighs, knows there is nothing he can do about it now. He continues to hold her hands, squeezing them tighter every time he sees her struggling, taking her mind off her breathing. Calleigh comes over with a glass of water, handing it to Nat who reluctantly pulls one hand from Ryan to take it.

"Sip it slowly Nat. Believe me. Too much at once and you'll regret it." Calleigh tells her with a smile.

She does as she's told and slowly she starts to feel better. Looking around she sees all the anxious faces staring back at her, Ryan's the closest and clearly most worried. She hands him the half empty glass before resting her now free hand against his cheek, her other still firmly grasped in his.

"I'm sorry if I have worried you. I'm fine, was just a little out of breath. I didn't have any trouble the whole way here. Just my luck it would hit me in front of you guys. But I'm fine honestly. And nothing was gonna stop me being here right now. Not a little shortness of breath, not some doctor and not even you Ry and your threats when you left this morning."

"What threats" Calleigh asks quickly, her lips quirking up.

"Ryan here threatened to tie me down if I so much as moved a toe" Natalia replies.

"I'll bet he did" Calleigh answers back, her face now breaking out in a full smile as she tries unsuccessfully to hold her laughter. The others quickly join in, the guys ribbing Ryan unmercifully. He blushes a bright red in response but takes the teasing good naturedly, and before long is giving back as good as he is getting. The mood lightens significantly and though none of them will say it, they are all glad Natalia has made the trip down, her presence has made them feel much more like the team they should be, and not the broken remains they currently are. Sitting together, joking around like nothing has changed makes all of them think that together they will get through it all, before long Eric will be alongside them and that one day H as well will be sitting with them all, teasing and joking like the family they all have become.

They continue to sit together, chatting and joking, Calleigh moving back behind her desk and gathering the papers and files she will need for the meeting. Before they know it, there is a knock on Calleigh's open door and they all look up to see Gabe and Jonah smiling back at them.

"Hey guys, sounds like you're all happy to be back at work." Jonah laughs.

"Nat! What are you doing here?" Gabe exclaims as he sees the brunette in the middle of the group.

"I had to be here for my team" she quickly responds, daring the men to question her, but she is just met with their smiles, they didn't expect anything less.

"It's nearly time. You all ready?" Jonah asks after a moment.

"Yep" Calleigh replies, taking a breath and rising to her feet. Just as she does her phone rings and she reaches down to take it from her hip, smiling the instant she sees the screen. The words 'Eric- cell' are glowing across the screen and below them a picture of Eric and Xavier cuddling in the armchair. The others notice her smile and know immediately who is calling her.

"Hey" she answers, "cute picture."

"You like it? I had a nurse take it yesterday when you were out of the room for something. Had to wait until you were busy to send it to your phone. I thought for a moment you had caught me, but you didn't. My super sneaky skills strike again."

She chuckles in reply.

"You touched my phone. You know the rules."

"Yep. And I will happily accept any punishment you deem fitting when you get home tonight. It was worth it." She feels her smile growing and is surprised for a moment when the embarrassment she thought she would feel with her colleagues seeing her respond to him like this does not come. Instead she only feels happy. Happy that this wonderful man is on the other end of her phone and she will be going home to him at the end of the day. Glad that he is hers and she has accepted that wholeheartedly and nothing anyone can say will change her heart.

"Whatcha' calling for?" she asks.

"Just wanted to wish you luck for your meeting. I know you don't need it, but I wanted you to know there is a gorgeous baby and handsome man here rooting for you."

"Oh really, who's there with Xavier?" she replies cheekily.

"You wound me woman" he replies. "Seriously though Babe. I know you got this, but I just wanted to call and let you know we are here. Always will be."

"Thanks Eric" she answers, turning to the windows, trying to keep some of her conversation private. The other realise she doesn't want them listening in and quietly turn to each other and start talking, Jonah and Gabe coming right in to join them, their chatter almost drowning out Calleigh's conversation.

"I wouldn't have had the strength to do this without you Eric."

"You would have Babe. You are so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. But if I can make this any easier for you I will."

"You do Eric. You do. What are you guys up to?"

"We have packed up and are just waiting on the Doc to get back with the release paperwork and then we are breaking out of this joint. Ma and Papi were here earlier and I finally managed to convince Papi to take her home. She wanted to stay and then drive with me but I want to have a bit of time to settle in at home before they all descend on me and I know that if Ma comes home with me she never will leave and my sisters will be right behind her."

"Eric" she sighs, "you are gonna need your mum. What if Xavier cries in the car? What if he won't settle when he gets home?"

"Cal, I'll be fine. I just want a bit of time to settle into this without all the gushing and overbearing...advice I know will come with them. And hey, if I really need her, I'll just call her. She'll probably be parked around the corner waiting anyway, do you really think she will go home and leave me alone?"

She chuckles in response. "Just promise me Eric, that if you need any help at all you will call her or one of your sisters. I can't be here worrying about you all the time. I will anyway, but it will be easier knowing you are not trying to take this all in and cope on your own."

"I promise Cal. Do you really think I'll have a choice anyway? I give them half an hour tops before they are all at my door. This is my family we are talking about. They don't know the meaning of the words personal space and privacy."

"Alright then, have a good day. I'll call you when I get out of the meeting. Love you."

"Love you too. And Babe, you got this. Knock 'em dead." He replies before hanging up.

Calleigh takes a moment before turning back to the others in the room, all trying their hardest to look like they didn't just hear her entire conversation, but the smiles on each of their faces at the declaration they just heard her make gives them all away. She chooses to ignore them.

"Well come on ya'll, lets head in there then."

They follow her to the door, all of them pausing as they watch the procession walking through the halls before them. Every single one of their bosses are present. They have never seen so much brass in one room. Gabe and Jonah each reach out and squeeze one of Calleigh's shoulders, letting her know they are there with her. Frank, Walter, Ryan and Natalia quickly follow suit. Calleigh turns back to her colleagues, sending them each her thanks with a smile, her eyes turning to Nat and realising it is not even worth telling her to go home, she won't win that one. She turns back and heads out the door, back straight and head held high as she enters the room, her team filing in behind her, telling everyone there that she has this, she is the right person for the job.

The rest of the morning fly's by, and before she know it it's nearly lunch time and she is leaving the meeting slightly shell shocked but feeling much better in her position, the support she has been shown still felt now as she leaves the room, her team silent and strong at her back, as they have been all morning. The meeting went well. The brass were a bit shocked at her steadfast refusal to remove anything to do with Horatio. They argued that keeping his office was a waste of resources but she refused to budge and eventually they just gave up, though she is sure it will come up again. They ran through their expectations and all she will be responsible for. The sheer scope of Horatio's job has her wondering how the hell he ever got through this, but she is determined to succeed, for herself and for Horatio. The team from Munroe county came in and gave them an update on Horatio and Natalia's case. They have identified the man behind it and are closing in on him. Sadly the thing that has triggered his attack, losing his two children, will now be permanent. Attempting to murder two police officers means he will be lucky to ever see his kids again. They manage to sort out the roster as best they can. She breaks the news to everyone that Eric will be out for awhile on emergency family leave, and while there are questions and some shocked and angry looks she refuses to reveal the reason why. It is up to Eric if and when the rest of them find out. They manage to take one of the swing shift down to fill Eric's spot and another CSI from Munroe county has sent word they would like to fill a spot, so she will cover for Horatio. The slack from Natalia will be filled with double shifts and overtime, but no one minds, it will only be a month, less if Natalia has her way, though Calleigh is adamant she won't.

Calleigh heads to her office with her team, Gabe and Jonah right behind her. Natalia doesn't even argue when Calleigh orders her home and she agrees to the lift Gabe is offering. Ryan wants to take her but he knows he needs to stay at work and Nat won't let him come anyway, though she does allow him to walk her down and help her into Gabe's car. The rest of them slowly scatter from Calleigh's office, Jonah heading home while the others head to their respective workstations and offices. Finally Calleigh is on her own and she quickly shuts her door before heading to her desk to sit down, her phone out and dialling Eric before she is even settled. He answers immediately.

"Hey Babe"

"Waiting with the phone in your hand?" she laughs.

"Yep. I thought you'd call ages ago. We have been waiting, haven't we little man" he coos over the phone and she correctly guesses he has the baby in his arms.

"How are you going? All settled in? Your mother driving you crazy?" she questions.

"Surprisingly no. Xavier was great in the car. Not a peep. I even pulled over at one point to check on him, worried he had stopped breathing or something. But when I leant over the seat and looked at him he was just laying there, blinked at me a couple of times, yawned and stretched and then shut his eyes and fell asleep. Nothing fazes this kid. We got a good one here. Anyway we got home and I had just settled him into his new cot. His room looks great by the way, they have all outdone themselves this time, guess I'll keep 'em all for a bit longer. So, Xavier had just gone to sleep when the doorbell rang and there they all were, Ma, Papi, my sisters, their husbands and even my nieces and nephews. Apparently a new family member means a day off work and school all around. They all send you their love by the way and can't wait to catch up with you."

"I can't wait to see them either. I've missed your family so much."

"Well, maybe this weekend. We'll see closer to it and if you look like you can do something I'm sure Ma would love to have lunch for us all."

"That would be great. I have to come in Saturday, I have a heap of work to do already and I'm gonna need Saturday if I even hope to get anywhere near on top of it, plus I'm doing the morning for Gabe cause he is covering me on Thursday morning."

She hears Eric's breath catch and hates herself for reminding him of the funeral when he was so happy just moments before. She quickly changes the subject.

"So is your family still all there now?"

"Nope. They only stuck around for a couple of hours. Xavier got so many kisses and cuddles, the house is now organised to an inch of its life and the fridge is overflowing with meals. The girls and their families left without much fuss, though they did warn me they will be back every day to check in on their new nephew. Ma was another story. Papi had to practically drag her out. I swear I could still hear her yelling back at me out the car window long after they had disappeared down the street." She laughs in response, knowing he was not exaggerating at all.

"I'm surprised your dad managed to drag her away."

"I didn't think he would for a bit there. She dug her heels in and it looked like nothing was gonna get her to leave. On the way out my sister's not so subtly told her to go with them and let me and Xavier settle in but she stubbornly refused to listen, pretended she didn't even hear them. I had kind of accepted she would be here for the rest of the day, but I went into Xavier's room to get him a pacifier, I've already lost four by the way. There is a black hole in this house that is sucking up paci's. Anyway, when I came back in the room, Papi was gathering their things and Ma stood up, gave me Xavier and then followed Papi. It did take her another 15 minutes and numerous repeated instructions. Not to mention I had to promise her like 10 times that I would call every couple of hours and let her know how we are going, but Papi finally managed to wrangle her out the door and into the car, and now here we are, Xavier and I sitting on the couch in a blessedly peaceful house with nothing really to do."

"Aww Babe, you a bit bored" she teases him. "You've had him home for only a few hours and you are already over it. How are you gonna handle the next few months?"

"Stop teasing Cal" he jokingly chastises, "I never said I was bored. I'm loving this. I could sit here all day holding this little man and it will never get old. We have nothing to do cause Ma and the girls did it all, and they'll be back tomorrow, though I won't be surprised if at least one of them finds a reason to pop back in again today, so I'm pretty sure I'm not gonna have anything to do but look after this guy for awhile yet. Not that I'm complaining. He has already gone through a steriliser full of bottles and Ma has done one full load of washing. Not even 4 hours have we been home Cal. How the hell can one little guy make so much mess in less than 4 hours?"

She is laughing at him outright now. "Oh Eric. You really have no idea do you Babe."

"That's what Aña said" he laughs back, "before she proceeded to tease me about the lack of sleep, non-existent social life, piles of dirty diapers and endless cold meals I have ahead of me.

"Gotta love your sister" she chuckles. "Aña always has loved rubbing your nose in things hasn't she."

"That's what baby brothers are for" he replies, perfectly mimicking his sister's usual response to his complaints about her teasing. "But seriously, she was the first one to take Xavier and change his diaper and she came with one of those diaper holder things that you stick the dirty ones in and it wraps it all up so you don't stink the place out."

"Like I said" Calleigh responds, "gotta love your sister."

Their conversation soon drifts into a comfortable silence, neither feeling the need to say anything else, but neither wanting to hang up either. Calleigh shuffles things around on her desk, organizing the stacks of paperwork and logging into her computer, getting ready for the hours of work she has ahead of her before she can even think of leaving. Eric is happy to stay on the line and listen to her work while he stretches out on the couch and cuddles his boy to his chest. Occasionally one of them would speak, telling the other whatever had popped into their head, but mostly they just went about their tasks happily connected by the open phone line. Well, Calleigh did anyway. Eric listened to the sounds of Calleigh hard at work, the rustle of papers and clicks of the keyboard and couldn't help but chuckle softly at the gentle humming he heard across the line, telling him Calleigh was concentrating hard and he knew that if he could see her, she would be running her thumb back and forward across her watch as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and focused intently on whatever document she was reading or task she had ahead.

Before long Calleigh's concentration on the paperwork she is studying is pulled by an odd sound. She looks around her office for a moment before realising it is coming from Eric on the other end of the phone. She fights to hold her laughter as she realises the curious noise is that of father and son snoring together down the line, Eric's much louder snore echoed by the most gorgeous little squeak of a snore she has ever heard. One she has heard the last few days and knows she will never get tired of. One that has an ache in her heart pulling at her, a feeling she never thought she would feel. After sitting and listening for longer than she will ever admit to anybody she reluctantly hangs up the line, knowing that if she doesn't she will never get any work done, she will instead sit there and wish desperately she was there with them, curled up on the couch and snuggled with her two boys. She quickly sends Eric a text, teasing him over his snoring stopping her from getting any work done before pushing her phone to one side and focusing on her work. Before long she is lost in the endless protocols and responsibilities she now faces, and the paperwork that will haunt her dreams for the months to come.

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note (part 2): So the previous chapter I had to split into 2, has gotten so very big that I now have to split it into 3. So, hopefully you enjoyed this instalment and look out for the next one soon. <strong>


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter Twenty-Two**

Eric wakes to the late afternoon sun. He looks at his watch and can't believe he slept for so long, nor that Xavier let him do so. He looks down at the baby on his chest and is startled to see the deep chocolate eyes staring back at him before a lazy yawn stretches across his tiny face. He doesn't know how long the baby has been awake and he can't believe how chilled out the little guy is. His sisters' kids would have been screaming the second they opened their eyes, but Xavier seems perfectly happy to just hang around and wait for someone to see to him. He had been like it the last few days but the nurses had been telling Eric most newborns are pretty relaxed the first few days, sleeping almost all the time they aren't eating, and even some of the time they are. But usually it wears off within the first couple of days. Xavier is yet to snap out of it and Eric prays he doesn't.

A sharp pain in his side has Eric reaching down between his body and the couch, wriggling around to feel what is digging in, while his other hand firmly holds the baby to his chest, but Xavier doesn't grumble or move, perfectly happy to rest against his Papi and watch what is going on. Eric pulls the cell phone out from under him and chuckles as he realises he was still on the phone to Calleigh when he fell asleep. He knows she will tease him for that one when she gets home. He sees the text she has sent him and laughs, she didn't even wait to get there to tease him. He shoots back a smart arse response and then sends a quick text to his mom after realising he has four missed calls from her. He can't believe the vibrations of his phone didn't wake him, but he is glad they didn't, already feeling much more refreshed after his nap. With a little manoeuvring he manages to get up and head into the kitchen while keeping the baby against his chest, he loves the feel of his little man's warm body and the soft breaths tickling the skin at the collar of his shirt where Xavier's tiny head is resting.

The rest of the day passes quickly. He gives Xavier a bottle and then attempts to play with him a bit. The baby simply lays there and watches Eric with a look that eerily reminds him of Calleigh when she is about to call him out on something stupid he has done. After a couple of hours, most of which they end up spend laying together on the couch while he tells the baby stories and softly sings to him, he bathes Xavier with only minimal flooding in the bathroom, manages to dress him only ruining one diaper and after another bottle, finally settles the baby into his room having only lost two more pacifiers in the process. He feels a bit lost as he pulls the door shut behind him, leaving Xavier sleeping peacefully in his cot. He wanders around the house aimlessly for a bit, sticking his head back into the baby's room more times than he can count, despite the soft sounds coming across the baby monitor, letting him know Xavier is still sleeping, happy and safe. Finally he wanders into the kitchen, deciding he will get dinner ready for himself and Calleigh. He will get it all prepared and set the table, then wait for her to come home and eat with her. He knows she will be late but he really wants to wait for her. He debates calling her but knows if he does they will not have a short conversation and then he will have to wait even longer to have her home, so instead he shoots off a text to her. He is surprised when she responds straight away, letting him know she will be ages yet and not to wait for her, which he ignores completely. Instead after finishing up their dinner he heads into the living room, stepping over the mess he has made in the last few hours. The tiny onesies, little socks, numerous towels, stuffed toys and rattles, empty bottles and more than one dirty burp cloth, all spread across the room so that not one surface is without mess. He contemplates cleaning up for a minute before the sound of his phone ringing in the kitchen has him forgetting all about the mess and instead heading back the way he came. He sighs when he sees the screen. Instead of the call from Cal he was hoping for it is instead a call from his mother.

"Hey Ma."

"Hi Eric. How are you going? How's my little grandson?"

"He's good Ma. Sleeping at the moment. He is such an easy baby. Bathed, feed and into bed without a fuss."

"So the exact opposite to you then" his mother teases. "You are lucky. If he was anything like you I would have had a phone call within 15 minutes of me leaving begging me to come back."

He chuckles at her reply. "But I was so worth it Ma." Her snort is the only response he gets.

"So just calling to check in?" he asks.

"Actually calling to check you were up off that couch and not still sleeping the day away."

"Ma!" he exclaims "how did you know we were sleeping on the couch?"

"I may have called in on my way to the market earlier but didn't come all the way in. I saw you two sleeping and didn't want to disturb you. Then when I was heading back, two hours later I might add, I stopped again, hoping to have another cuddle with my little Xavier, but what did I find? You two. Sleeping. Still!"

"You know what they say Ma, sleep when the baby does. I was just following orders."

She laughs at his reply.

"First time ever my boy."

"Eh, well there is a first time for everything."

"Sure is. So how was the rest of your day. I wanted to come back and your sisters were both here for dinner and wanted to come too but your father forbid us. Told us to leave you be, that you will call when you need us."

"Remind me to buy that man a beer."

"Ha ha ha" she responds sarcastically. "Very funny Eric. Next time I might not listen to that man and just come over anyway. You have never called in the past when you needed me, how do I know you will do it now?"

"I will Ma. Calleigh made me promise as well. She says that she can't work worrying about me all day and made me swear I would call you or one of the girls if I needed anything."

"Well that makes me feel better. If you promised Calleigh I know you might actually do it."

"I love her Ma. I can't have her sitting at work worrying about me. I need her to keep her head in the job so that she comes home safe to us every night."

"Now you know how I feel every time you head out to work. I know it's your job and you love it, but every day I say a prayer we won't get another one of those phone calls."

"Love you Ma" is his simple response. There is nothing else he can really say. He could reassure her until he is blue in the face, has done numerous times before but he knows it doesn't really help. She's his mom. She will always worry about him. Hell if he was a garbage man she would worry that he might fall in and crush himself in the truck!

"So Ma. Will I be seeing you tomorrow?" he questions, already knowing the answer.

"Stupid question Eric" she replies, and he chuckles in response, drawing a matching one from the woman on the end of the phone, successfully pulling her out of her wallowing.

"Good. There is some washing here that needs doing and I'll be getting low on clean bottles by the morning" he cheekily replies.

"What did your last slave die of?" she answers back quickly.

"Exhaustion" comes his response, resulting in a full laugh from her.

"I'll be by in the morning. Do you have anything you need to do tomorrow?" she asks.

"What do you mean? I'll have the baby, so yeah."

"I meant for Ari, or work or whatever."

"Oh...I had sort of forgotten...about...Ari being...you know...got caught up...didn't really...well...she's..." he stammers softly.

"Hey hey hey" she soothes down the phone. "You have a lot going on. She doesn't have to be on your mind every second of the day."

"I know Ma, but I've hardly even thought of her today, not at all since we left the hospital."

"Eric. Stop. You have that beautiful little boy to look after. Every second you spend with him is thinking of Ari, honouring her, showing her your love. Don't ever chastise yourself for her not being on your mind. She is in your heart and that means so much more."

She is quiet for a moment, listening to Eric gather himself down the line. She hears his deep breathes as he takes in what she has told him. She knows he hasn't forgiven himself for not thinking of Arianna while he was so occupied with the baby, but at least he might be cutting himself a break for the moment. When she thinks he has settled enough she softly asks him again.

"Son. Is there anything you need to do tomorrow? Anything I can do for you?"

"Not really Ma. I have to meet with the funeral directors early afternoon to make the final preparations. Oh shit" he swears, before quickly apologising before his mother even has a chance to scold him. "Sorry Ma. I just remembered I need to have a eulogy of some sorts ready for tomorrow and I haven't done a thing. Look I gotta go Ma. I've got to get this done now while Xavier is still asleep."

"Oh Eric. I'll come over and help you. I can help with the eulogy and then when the little one wakes up I'll look after him and you can keep working."

"No Ma. I'll be fine. Thank you for offering but I really want to do this on my own."

"Eric please. Let me help you."

"I'm not trying to shut you out Ma, I just need to do this on my own. Look if I can't get it done or Xavier gets too much I promise I'll call you and you can come round, but please just let me try on my own first."

"O.K. Eric. I wish you would let me help, but I know why you need to do it on your own. But please, even if it is to come around and clean the bottles or whatever, call me for anything."

"I will Ma, I promise. And maybe tomorrow morning when you get here you can look over what I have done. Add in things you want or change it if I haven't quite got her right."

"Of course Eric, whatever you need. I'll see you tomorrow morning. I love you."

"Love you too Ma."

He sits down at his desk, opens his laptop and stares at the blinking cursor on his screen for the next half an hour. He has no idea where to start. All he can think of is the last time he saw Ari. Her beautiful dark curly hair hanging stringy and limp against the pillows, her skin as pale as the sheets she lay upon, and her normally bright, engaging eyes glassy and scared. He finds himself tearing up, the moment her cold, still hand was replaced by the warmth of Calleigh's playing over and over in his head, the squeak of her bed as they wheeled her away from him an endless echo. He tries to hold his sobs, knows that if he starts now he will not stop, but his thoughts of Ari's final days lead to thoughts of where she is now and when he remembers that today is the day they were doing her autopsy, his restraint breaks and the sobs break free. He tries to muffle them not wanting to wake the baby, burying his face in his arms folded on the desk in front of him. He doesn't want to call his Mom, he just wants to do this without having to deal with her emotions and dramatics over the whole situation. Eventually he manages to control his sobbing but the images of Ari are still running through his head, both what he saw with her at the hospital and what he is imagining her body has gone through today. Before he even realises it is what he needs he has picked up his phone and dialled Calleigh.

"Hey Eric" her sweet southern voice echoes down the phone and at the sound of it he almost breaks again.

Calleigh hears him drawing in deep breaths, the stuttered exhale letting her know he is barely holding it together.

"Eric...Baby?...What's wrong?...Are you alright?...Is Xavier alright?...What's the matter Eric?"

Finally he stutters out. "Ari...autopsy..today."

"Oh Baby. I'm sorry. I got so caught up I forgot that it was today."

"Me too" he whispers and she realises instantly his sorrow is not just over the autopsy itself but also the fact he forgot about it.

"Hey" she responds softly, "we've had a lot going on. Don't get all caught up in what you should and should not be thinking about. What's bought all this on anyway?"

"Eulogy" is his only reply.

Calleigh hears him struggling on the other end of the line. "Oh Baby, you shouldn't have to do that on your own. I wish I could be there with you, but I'm nowhere near finished yet. I still got a couple of hours here. What about your mom? I know if you called her she would come and help you."

"No" he is quick to respond. "I don't want her here for this. I can't do this if I have to deal with her crying and all upset. I thought I'd be able to handle it better by myself. But I guess I was wrong. I just keep seeing her Cal. What they had to do to her today. She didn't deserve it Cal, didn't deserve any of this. Why did it have to happen to her? She had already been through so much...lost so much...why did she have to lose more? It's not fair Cal. It's just not fair" he finishes, his voice breaking in a sob.

"Oh Eric, Baby" she offers helplessly. "I would give anything to be there with you right now. You have to stop thinking of her like that. You need to focus on all the good she did. Where is Xavier?"

"Sleeping."

"In his cot?"

"Yeah"

"Alright. I want you to take a few deep breaths. You need to calm down a bit. Just breath Baby. Focus on my voice. Breath in and out. In and out. That's it Baby. Just keep breathing in and out. In and out. Now I want you to get up and walk to Xavier's room. Quietly open the door and step up to his cot. Look at that beautiful little boy. That is the greatest thing Ari ever got to do. And she did it Eric. She stayed strong and healthy long enough to bring that little man into the world. When you think of Ari, you need to think of Xavier and how Ari will carry on through him."

"He's never gonna know her Cal" he whispers and the sorrow in his voice breaks Calleigh's heart and she can do nothing to stop the tears sliding down her own cheeks.

"Yes he will Eric. We will make sure of that. You know all the stories about Ari and you will share each of them with Xavier. We will make sure he knows exactly how much she loved her and how hard she fought to stay with him. And you can tell him who she was. You know who she was Eric. What she loved, what she hated, what mad her mad, what made her cry and what made her laugh so much she couldn't breathe."

"She used to laugh over the stupidest things Cal" he starts to tell her and she can hear the smile in his voice. "It became a bit of a competition between Marcus and I, who could tell her the stupidest joke. She laughed at every single one and there were some real shockers. Jokes a three year old would roll their eyes at, but she laughed at every one, and not just to humour us. She thought they were funny. You would often find her chuckling softly to herself ages after, repeating the punch line under her breath. And you'd think that she would tell shockers herself cause she found them so funny, but she never did. Her jokes were always really good and she could tell a joke like no one I have ever heard. She was so good at it. Always knew exactly how to tell it, had funny voices and everything."

Calleigh finds herself chuckling softly along with Eric. "What else Eric. I bet she annoyed you two, being younger and always wanting to tag along."

"Hell yes. She always wanted to do what we were doing, but most of the time we let her tag along. She was good fun and usually knew when to make herself scarce. She knew that if she embarrassed us we might not let her come with us again, so she was usually pretty cool. But sometimes she just couldn't help herself. She would get this gleam in her eye and before you could stop her she would be telling our mates about the lipstick she put on us while we were asleep, or telling that girl one of us had our eye on about the time we lost our swimming shorts and towels getting changed at the beach and I had to run home wrapped in her pink sarong and Marcus had to use her skirt. I still think she took our stuff, especially since it turned up on their doorstep the next morning, but she never ever gave in and admitted it. She was so stubborn Cal. Would never admit to anything, no matter what we threatened. And if she wanted to do something, there was nothing we could do to stop her. One time she wanted to meet with this boy and Marcus found out. He actually locked her in her room when he couldn't talk her out of it. We left her to cool off a bit and when we went back about half an hour later she was gone. Had used a nail file to unscrew the lock on her window and was out of there. We tracked her down and when she saw us she laughed. Looked right at us and laughed Cal, then lent over, kissed the boy full on the lips and told him her ride was there before getting in the back seat. He exact words as she got in were Thanks for the lift boys, Ice cream on the way home?"

He hears Calleigh's laugh and pulls away from the crib before his own laughter wakes the baby. As he takes one last look at the baby then steps out the room and pulls the door closed, he realises exactly what she has done.

"Thanks Cal" he says softly.

"Anytime Eric. I mean it. Anytime you need me even if it is just to talk you through something, you pick up your phone and call me."

"You're so busy Cal. The more I annoy you, the longer you'll be at work and then you'll never get home to us."

"You are never annoying me Eric. Just hearing your voice makes me feel better and will help me get through. God that sounds so corny but its true Eric. I need you as much as you need me, so you have to promise you'll call me anytime, even for the littlest thing you need from me."

"I promise Cal."

"Good, now head back to your laptop and let's get started."

They chat together for the next ten minutes or so, both laughing at the stories Eric has to share. Finally Calleigh can hear Eric is strong again and she believes him when he tells her he can keep going on his own. After again making him promise to call her if he needs her at all she hangs up. With a sigh she puts her phone down on her desk and is staring at the black screen, her mind on Eric when a voice startles her.

"Go home Calleigh. You've done enough for today. It will all still be here tomorrow."

"Jonah" she admonishes, "you scared me. What are you doing here?"

"Really Cal" he questions, quirking his eyebrow as he speaks, "look out your window. I've been on shift for the last four hours. Seriously Calleigh. Go home. All this isn't going anywhere. In fact, it's a pretty quiet night, maybe I can make some of it go away. Pull out some stuff and leave it for me to get through for you."

"I might take you up on that. I'll head out soon. There are just a few more things I want to do first."

"Come on Cal. Eric needs you more than we do at the moment."

"How long were you listening?"

"Sorry" he responds and has the decency to at least look embarrassed. "I know there is more going on there and you guys will tell us when you are ready. I tried not to listen but I was waiting to come in and see you. He needs you Cal. I could hear in your voice how much it hurt you not to be there. But you don't have to be here right now Cal; you can be there for him."

"Yeah he did, but he is getting through it now and I'll try not to be too much longer. He's fine, believe me. I just have to finish this up and get started on a few more things before I can head home."

"The lab will not fall apart if you don't get that finished tonight Cal. You have already gotten more done than anyone else possibly could have. I am not letting you do anymore. You are heading home" he tells her pointedly.

"Jonah" she warns "I am a big girl. I don't need you to order me around. I'll just finish up these and then I'll head home. You can stop hovering, I promise I'll only finish this and maybe have a quick look over what I need to get done tomorrow."

"No chance Cal. If I leave you now you will still be sitting here in the morning. Come on. We promised to help you out, so let us live up to that promise."

"Just a bit longer then I promise I'll be out of here."

"Nope Cal" he says as he moves away from the door and heads around her desk, "you are going now" he tells her as he pulls her chair out, picks her phone up off her desk and hands it too her. "I am not taking no for an answer. Go home to Eric and help him through whatever is going on. I'll get through what I can and you can pick back up in the morning."

"Fine" she gives in, realising she is not going to win this fight. "You are as bad as Horatio" she says with a grin as she allows Jonah to pull her up by the hands and accepts her purse he is passing to her. "You can look through these" she tells him, handing him the biggest stack of files off her desk as they move around towards the door.

"Not gonna stop me bossing you around when I need to he says with a smirk, escorting her to the elevator to ensure she does go home, then heading off whistling an annoying tune that echoes through the closing doors behind him.

Calleigh gets in her car, her mind still back in the building she has just left. She looks up guiltily at her now dark office windows, thinking of the work piled up on her desk and almost gets back out of her car to put in another couple of hours. But then she catches sight of a sweater of Eric's she must have picked up some time over the last few days thrown on the passenger seat and she quickly dismisses that idea; suddenly she is very eager to get home to him and can think of little else. She starts to head for his house but realises she needs to go by her place first. Cursing herself for not thinking this morning and packing her bag then, she turns the car to the left instead of the right and drives faster than she will ever admit towards her place. Once there she ends up packing two large suitcases, her necessities not fitting into just one and is back in her car and heading for his house in record time. She slows for a light and the flashing of the neon sign of a 24 hour pharmacy catches her eye. With a smile on her lips she flicks her indicator and heads into the parking lot, ducking in to make her purchases. She gets back in her car, a half full plastic bag now resting on top of Eric's sweater on the passenger seat and pulls out her cell phone, shooting off a text to Eric to let him know she is on her way. She stares at the phone for a full minute, expecting the immediate response she usually gets, but when one doesn't come she starts to worry. Logically she knows he is probably just asleep or busy, but that doesn't stop the uneasy feeling rising, her fear that something has gone wrong or he has gotten lost in his grief over Ari again leaves her with her finger hovering over his name on her screen and she has to stop herself from calling him. Even though she has been hurrying, it has been almost two hours since she spoke to him and she is worried how he has coped. She tries to reassure herself. He is just busy with the baby. He is alright. She will be home soon and see him then. He is fine. She repeats this over and over as she forces herself to put the phone down and carefully drive to him, stopping herself from putting her foot down and speeding to his house. He is fine. He is fine. He is fine.

* * *

><p>He is asleep. Adorably asleep. Curled up in the corner of the sofa with the baby spread across his chest. She stops at the sight of them. Is not sure how long she stands there just staring, absorbing the picture that is father and son. She cannot believe she gets to come home to this. It is too good to be true. She finds herself holding her breath, waiting for it all to disappear, for her to instead be back in her lonely, cold living room but they never fade. They are there. They are hers.<p>

A soft snore draws her closer, leaving her suitcases at the door and dropping her purse and the pharmacy bag on top of the messy coffee table. She chuckles when she realises it is Xavier. It amuses her every time she hears it. She reaches out and cups his tiny head; it fits perfectly into her hand. The fingers of her other hand reach for Eric, trace his jaw, his nose, his eyebrows. She can't help herself. She bends down and follows her fingers with her lips. She can't believe they have gotten here. She has missed him so much. He murmurs as her lips press to the corner of his mouth and the baby wriggles in response. She pulls back, not wanting to wake Xavier. She waits for them to settle again and then oh so gentle slides her hand under the baby and carefully lifts him up until he is resting in her arms. Eric stirs immediately but she quickly soothes him and her voice is all he needs, he never opens his eyes.

She slowly walks the baby to his room, taking as long as she can, loving his warm weight in her arms. She enters his room; stops and stares in wonder. It is perfect. The walls are still white, but they are now adorned with sea creatures. Pictures of fish, dolphins, seahorses and star fish swim between colourful coral and sea grass of every green. A white crib is pushed up against one wall, deep blue bedding peeking through the bars and a gorgeous mobile hanging above which matches the creatures swimming across the walls. A white change table rests in one corner, the shelves underneath filled with more supplies than she has ever seen. A white chest of drawer stands next to the door, the drawers all askew as if closed in a hurry and she can see each and every draw is brimming with tiny clothes. A bookshelf under the window is already over half full, its shelves covered in books and stuffed toys, many new and many clearly lovingly passed down from aunts, uncles, cousins and grandparents. But the thing that grabs her attention straight away and the thing she knows she will come to love the most is the plush blue and white stripe reclining armchair in the corner next to the crib. She can see herself walking into this room to Eric and Xavier curled up together there, much like she found them in the lounge tonight. Sees herself lifting the baby off her partner and placing him in the crib then climbing in the chair with Eric, curling up into his body as she watches the baby sleep next to them. She sighs at the thought and then the image is replaced by one of herself in the chair, Xavier cuddled up to her and Eric walking in and finding them, a wide smile spreading across his face. She almost heads for it now but instead makes herself go to the crib instead. There will be a time for that image to come true, but now is not that time. They have forever ahead of them to make it a reality. Instead she places the baby in his crib, watches him for a minute before bending over and placing a soft kiss to his forehead. He nuzzles into her kiss and her heart aches at the love she already feels for this little man. She is a goner. She finally manages to pull herself away, makes sure the monitor is switched on and then heads out the room, softly pulling the door shut behind her.

She heads for Eric's safe, smiling when the combination is still the same, the date they first met all those years ago at that crime scene. She stows her gun and badge, locks the safe again then heads for the kitchen knowing how stubborn Eric is and that he would have waited to eat with her even though she told him not to. Her heart pulls at the sight of the table set for two, the red rose in a simple vase set in front of what must be her place. She locates their meals next to the microwave, smiles at the sight of his mothers Tamales and Congri and rightly guesses there are plenty more dishes filling the fridge. He has purposely chosen her favourites, even though she knows he prefers the spicy chicken rice dish she can see sitting on the top shelf, and her heart flutters at the thought. It makes her laugh how sappy she is getting around him, she will have to make sure the guys at the lab never see or they will tease her endlessly. She peers around the corner into the living room and contemplates waking him to come into the kitchen, but instead decides that eating their dinner curled up together on the sofa is a much better idea and one he will love.

Numerous trips back and forth have her bringing everything he had set up for them into the living room, even the red rose in its vase. She has to step over what she would think is every item possibly belonging to Xavier if she didn't know any better. How the hell one man and one tiny baby can make so much mess in a few hours is beyond her, but she simply pushes the larger objects out her way and steps over everything else. Lastly she brings their plates; setting them on the table next to the sofa then stepping up to him and leaning over, her lips immediately pressing against his. His eyes flutter open as her fingers run up and down his chest and she pulls back to watch him wake, the smile on her face matching his own as he realises she is home.

"Hey handsome. I hope that is chocolate smeared across your cheek" she teases.

His hand quickly reaches up and wipes at his cheek and she pulls a face when he sniffs at the brown smear now on his fingers.

"Yep, just chocolate" he grins at her. She rolls her eyes.

They stare at each other for a few seconds before she leans back down and presses her lips to his once more. He responds in seconds, his eagerness causing her to chuckle against his lips, changing quickly to a gasp when he takes the opportunity her open lips have given him and slips his tongue in to slide against her own. Her gasp quickly becomes a moan as his clever tongue teases her before she pulls away with a hand on his chest, stopping him from chasing her lips.

"Dinner...getting cold" she stammers. He looks over and sees she has brought everything in from the kitchen and he smiles brightly. He accepts his plate from her and watches as she picks up her own and moves to sit next to him. Instead he snags her with his leg, wraps it around her body and pulls her towards him, lifting his plate just in time as she lands in his lap, her own plate miraculously staying in her hands. He gets a glare for that move and a slap on the shoulder but the smile on her face ruins her reprimand. They stay twisted together, awkwardly eating their dinner one handed as the others hold their plates on her lap. When they have both eaten their fill she places first hers and then his plate back on the table, stretching to reach so she doesn't have to leave his lap.

"I saw Xavier's room. It's perfect" she says as she settles back against him.

"Yeah they did a great job didn't they."

"He is very lucky Eric."

"We all are Cal."

They sit in silence for awhile, Calleigh closing her eyes and nuzzling into Eric's neck, placing soft kisses every so often. Eric shivers every time and she smiles against him. At the sound of her breathing evening out he reluctantly nudges her, stopping her from falling asleep completely.

"Come on Cal, we have a huge bed back in our room that is much more comfortable than here."

"I'm comfy" she replies softly, her voice thick with sleep.

"I know you are, but you'll be much comfier in there."

She hums in response but doesn't move and he is just thinking about whether he should simply carry her into the bedroom when her voice startles him.

"Our room?"

"Yeah Cal, our room" comes his firm reply. She simply smiles against him again before her lips press a gentle kiss to his neck. "I like the sound of that" she whispers.

A few silent minutes later she reluctantly gets up, reaching for his hand and pulls him up after her.

"Lets go to our room."

He smiles and follows. They are almost through the door when she pulls away.

"I left my purse on the coffee table. My phone's in there." She explains as she goes to move past him back into the hall. He stops her with a hand on her shoulder.

"I'll grab it Cal, you head into the bathroom and get ready for bed."

"Oh, my cases. They are by the door. Can you grab them for me too?"

"Cases?"

"Yeah. I stopped by my place on the way here and got some stuff. Work clothes and toiletries. You know, the necessities; shoes and such." He chuckles as soon as she mentions shoes as a necessity. Some things never change.

"That's why I took so long to get here. I'm sorry about that. I didn't mean to take so long. When Jonah made me leave I thought I would get to you a lot sooner."

"Jonah?" he questions.

"Yeah, he kind of heard my end of our conversation earlier and all but marched me out of the lab. Made me see it will still be there tomorrow and I had done enough for one day."

"I owe him one then. I can't believe he got you out of the lab. Not even H can pull that off." She smiles at him.

"Well, I've got something to come home to now don't I." She replies.

"That you do babe. And you always will." She smiles and leans in for a long slow kiss. When she pulls back she asks, "so, what did you get up to while Jonah was ordering me around?"

He smiles and responds. "Well, I worked for about another 45 minutes on my notes. I think I've got some really good stuff. Ma is gonna have a look in the morning and change or add anything and then the funeral directors are going to use the notes to write a proper remembrance for her. Then just as I was finishing Xavier woke up, so I got him a bottle then settled on the couch with him. He finished it all then snuggled in and I just couldn't put him back in his crib, so we just stayed where we were."

"My favourite way to come home ever" she whispers and he smiles in response. Feeling her nuzzle back into his chest he reluctantly pulls away.

"Head for the bathroom Cal, I'll go get your bags. Otherwise we will stand here all night."

"Alright" she sighs, slowly heading away from him, before turning back with a sultry smile. "I'll be waiting for you" she says as she steps through the door, her blouse soon flying back through the still open door.

Eric runs to grab her bags; he gets the two suitcases first, grunting at their weight and lugs them back into his room, dropping them just inside the door and running back for her purse. The plastic bag next to it catches his eye and he peeks inside, his heart melting at the sight of what must have been every pacifier on the pharmacy's shelves. He picks it up and brings it as well, throwing her purse on the bedside table before stepping into the bathroom. The sight of her stuns him. She is standing before the mirror, using an old bottle of face wash she left by the sink all that time ago to remove her makeup. Her pants have joined her blouse back in his bedroom and she is wearing nothing but a black lace bra and matching panties. He walks up behind her and she smiles at him in the mirror. His arms come around her to settle against her stomach but the plastic bag snags their progress. She looks down and sees what he is holding and glances back up at him. The adoration in his eyes has her blushing.

"You said you kept losing them. I thought you might need some more." She explains in embarrassment.

"God I love you." He responds, carefully reaching to place the bag on the sink before his hands come to rest back on her soft skin, one splayed across her toned stomach, the other slipping under her bra to cover her breast. She moans at the feel of him and turns her head to meet his lips.

"Lets take this to the shower" she whispers against his lips.

Slowly they undress each other until there are no longer any barriers between them. They slip under the hot water together, their hands never leaving each other. And with the sliding of skin, exploring hands and wandering lips they find each other again as each has been dreaming of for over a year.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter Twenty-Three**

For Calleigh, Tuesday and Wednesday are pretty much repeats of Monday, except now she wakes twisted around Eric, bare skin on bare skin, a warmth spreading through her that she never thought she would feel again. During the night Eric rises to see to Xavier numerous times, throwing on whatever pants he finds lying on the floor, but each time when he returns to Calleigh he removes whatever he has pulled on, wanting to feel her soft skin pressed against his own. She never wakes when he leaves their bed, and every time he returns he finds her wrapped around his pillow, seeking his warmth and scent. When he returns he gently slides back in and before he has even settled she has sought him out, her body aligned with his, their legs tangling, her head coming to rest on his shoulder or chest and her arm wrapping around his torso. He has never been as happy as he is in those moments.

They wake early together, before either the baby or the alarm has a chance to do so. They spend those few precious minutes exploring each other, remembering what they already knew and learning so much more. But inevitably the real world intrudes. The phone rings, the alarm screams, the baby cries, cars roar past and dogs bark from neighbouring yards. They laugh at the intrusions. This is their life now, something neither is used to, but both are coming to love. Finally they rise, Calleigh heading for the shower and Eric for the baby, with a detour through the kitchen on his way, starting the coffee so it will be ready when Calleigh is.

Calleigh gets ready as quickly as she can, hoping to steal a few minutes at the breakfast table with Eric and Xavier. Things that once seemed so important and would take her most of her morning are now rushed through and traded instead for precious minutes with her boys. Make up and hair are a bare minimum and her outfits no longer carefully chosen and coordinated, simple black and white the extent of her focus now. Once dressed she heads for the kitchen, stopping to stick her head in the baby's room but Eric is always too quick for her, having scooped up the baby, changed his diaper and headed to the kitchen before Calleigh is even out the shower. Instead she finds them waiting for her at the table, toasted bagels on plates, coffee steaming in mugs and Eric sitting, Xavier tucked into the crook of his arm greedily sucking down his first bottle of the day. She absently eats her bagel one handed, her other hand alternating between resting on Eric's thigh and playing with Xavier's tiny toes. She draws out breakfast as long as she can. Pausing half way through her bagel to take the baby so Eric can eat; reluctantly giving him back and finishing her own. Sipping her coffee and then stealing half of Eric's; hunting through the dishwasher for a travel mug and making another cup to go. She even finds herself emptying and restacking the dishwasher while Eric teases her from the table. However her morning always comes to an end. She reluctantly heads to the safe and retrieves her gun and badge before returning back to her boys, giving them each one final kiss, grabbing her to-go cup and heading out the door.

The closer she gets to work, the more her focus shifts from her boys at home to her team at the office and all the work waiting for her. While her boys are never far from her mind and she checks in with Eric numerous times through out the day, her team are her number one priority while at work. Now she is the boss she is responsible for so much more than ever before. Where once she had one partner's back to watch, now she had an entire lab to keep safe. Before she had her few open cases and the cold ones that will always haunt her to fight for justice for, now she has every case under her lab. When the victims put their trust in her lab, when those family members and friends walk through the doors, it is her responsibility to ensure they get their answers. She is so very thankful for Jonah, for without him she would not find her off switch each night. If he did not walk into her office long after she should have gone home and "help" her pack up for the night, it is highly likely she would still be there into the early hours of the morning. Every night, as she drives home to Eric and Xavier, she finds herself thanking Jonah for looking out for her. The further from the lab she gets, the more her thoughts shift back to her boys and as she walks through the front door and is greeted by the sight of Eric stretched out on the couch, Xavier curled up on his chest, she doesn't know how she will tear herself away from them in the morning. She has only had this for a few days and already she is feeling the pull. She loves her work and could not live without it but walking out that door in the morning is quickly becoming the hardest thing she has to do each day.

Tuesday and Wednesday pass in a blur for Eric. Feed, change, nap; repeat. He loves it all and wouldn't change a second of his time with Xavier. It is the other times he struggles. The long drive to the funeral director and the ten minutes he spends sitting in the car, wishing he had Xavier with him but glad he didn't bring the baby to that awful place. It is only a phone call to Calleigh that gives him the strength to walk through the door. He knows he shouldn't tie her up that long, but when she offered to keep the line open while he met with the couple handling the funeral he couldn't say no. His phone grasped tightly in his hand is his focus for much of the meeting, knowing she is right there on the other end the only way he makes it through. He hands over his notes for Ari's eulogy. His mother had read over them when she got to his house that morning and had loved everything she read, laughed and cried her way through every word. She added a few notes of her own, the mother's touch to finish it off. The couple glance over and praise him for his work, tell him it is beautifully written and they will leave it as is. They ask him if he will be able to read it, or if someone else will stand up instead. He doesn't have an answer past the fact that he himself will never have the strength to do it. They reassure him that it is fine, to check with his family and see if someone will be able to do it, otherwise one of them will read it on his behalf. He doesn't remember much of the meeting. He knows they confirmed the details, that he okayed the flowers and music, set the time, 10am Thursday, and signed a million papers to authorise Ari's buriel. He only knows all of this because Calleigh tells him. Late that night, when they are lying in bed wrapped around each other, she fills him in on everything that happened in the meeting. Everything she heard through the phone. She half-heartedly chastises him for not taking his mother with him, or one of his sisters, for being so stubborn that he went on his own, but she understands why he did it. On top of his own pride and not wanting to fall apart again in front of a family member, the meeting was already hard enough without adding the extra emotions of a family member to the mix.

Thursday is the day that tests them all. Calleigh wakes long before Eric. She contemplates waking him and spending their quiet minutes together, time which has quickly become sacred to both of them, but she hesitates when she sees his relaxed features. She knows how hard the coming day will be for him and she can't bring herself to be the one to bring the pain any quicker. She hears a soft snuffling over the monitor and knows Xavier will be waking soon. She quickly reaches over and shuts off the monitor before the noises wake Eric, then she carefully eases out of the bed. She heads straight for the babies room and peeks in. He is not yet awake so she knows she has a few minutes. She heads for the kitchen, turning on the coffee before making a bottle. Back in the baby's room she startles at the dark eyes staring at her, a smile blossoming on her face when she realises Xavier is awake and patiently waiting for Eric.

"Hey hey little one. How are you this morning? That good ha." she answers her own question as the baby tracks her movements across the room.

"Were you waiting for Daddy? You were. Well no luck this morning handsome boy. You've got me this morning. We are going to let Daddy sleep a little bit more. He has a tough day ahead of him and we are going to try and make it a little bit easier. So we are going to snuggle up here in this comfy armchair and you can have your bottle. Then when we are ready we will head back in to Daddy and I vote we curl up with him and all stay in bed together for a little bit. We don't need to start getting ready for just over an hour so we have plenty of time to try and make Daddy smile."

As she chats softly she changes the baby's diaper and then scoops him up, heading for the armchair she has been dying to try out. She settles in with the baby who greedily latches on to the bottle the second she brings it close. She chuckles at the sight and the little noises he makes. She watches him intently, wishing this could be her every morning but knowing it can't, she treasures these moments she does get. She softly traces his features, her finger running over his brow, along his hairline, down his nose, memorizing every tiny part of him knowing he will change so quickly. He will not be this small for very long and she will not get to spend near enough time with him. She laughs as his little nose scrunches up and he pulls away from the bottle to stare at her with indignation, she is disrupting his eating. He couldn't be more like Eric even if he was his biological son!

Xavier settles back down and finishes his bottle. After burping him they sit quietly for a few minutes. Calleigh still cannot quite believe what her life has become. When she starts to worry Eric will wake without them, she pulls herself out of the chair, keeping the baby close to her chest as heads back for their bedroom. Eric is still as she left him, laying on his side facing her pillow, so she lays the baby down in the middle of the bed next to Eric and then eases in on the other side, the baby safe between Eric and herself. She shifts onto her side, one hand coming to grasp Eric's resting on the bed below the baby, her other hand reaching for the baby's tiny fingers, tickling and playing with them. As the baby settles in and starts to nod off, he grasps her finger in his little fist and she to is pulled back to sleep.

The next time she wakes, it is to two pairs of dark eyes staring back at her. A lazy grin stretches across her face at the sight. Eric smiles back at her, squeezing her hand still joined with his own.

"Thank you" he whispers to her, not wanting to break the peace of their waking.

"Anytime" she whispers back.

"I didn't want to wake up this morning. I was dreading it when we went to bed last night. I'm not ready for today Cal" his voice breaks.

Calleigh slides her hand out of his and raises it up to caress his cheek, her thumb running back and forth along his cheek bone, her fingers curling around his ear. He leans into her touch, his eyes slipping closed as he takes the comfort she offers.

"I've got you babe," she whispers, "I've always got you."

Eric turns his head and places a kiss to her palm, opening his eyes to look back at her. He is just opening his mouth to respond when a cry sounds from between them. They both look down to the baby, chuckling at the look on the baby's face.

"Hey hey little man. Were we not paying you enough attention. Don't worry, we didn't forget you were there. How could we ever forget you?" Calleigh coos at Xavier.

Eric watches on, a smile spreading across his face.

"God I love you two," Eric says as he lifts up on one arm, leaning down to place a kiss on the baby's forehead then leaning over and reaching for Calleigh's lips. She raises up to meet him but before they can get carried away he pulls back. He sits up and lifts the baby into his arms, placing a kiss on each cheek, inhaling his sweet scent and then laying him down on Calleigh, chest to chest. The baby nuzzles in, his little cheek resting against her collar bone, his soft breaths brushing across her skin. Eric curls himself around them, gathers his family as close as he can get them. Calleigh lets him be. She doesn't talk, doesn't wriggle to see his face like she wants to. Instead she holds the baby to her with one hand, while the other searches for Eric's larger one. When she finds it, she laces her fingers through his, squeezing his hand in reassurance.

"I've got you both" she whispers.


End file.
